Castle Whiterock 7 November 2022: Dem bones

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior

What they did

I tell Garreth and Polly that I have to see this portal, and they tell me to go for it. I go to the northeast and see my new friends hacking at the spell ruin ivy with their sickles. Fadulla tells me to keep following the lava. So I follow the lava stream up a sloped tunnel and come to a small cave. The lava stream comes out of a blazing hole and twists the outline of the cave. It feels warm and toasty even with my salamander amulet.

I ask Mufaqu, "How easy is the trip? It just like walking through the door of a pub or something?"  Mufaqu says it is, as well as going back, so I try it. My choice to go through lasts only a split second. I hold myself back as something seems wrong. It seems really neat, but I felt like I was starting to catch on fire. "Something tells me I gotta hold back for now, as cool—er, sweet—as the idea sounds."

Garreth tells me that I have to learn self-control, then shows the efreet the spellruin herbicide, which greatly speeds the hacking away at the spellruin ivy that the efreet are doing. Mufaqu tries it, looks impressed then gives it back. "That is wild! Do you want to trade it for the sickle?" Garreth holds off on any trade for the moment, even though Fadulla ups his offer for real alchemist's fire ("not just that puny human stuff"), as we need to get more.

So I go back and fly over the island and hot lava, and am now over land again. The ceiling has strange stalactites that look like frozen liquid rock, with a six foot crack in it. At the end of the tunnel is a hardened lavafall that goes up about thirty feet. There is a cave mouth at the top of it, so I fly down the it, and turn left when the tunnel does. I can see that this tunnel was once in an old lava lake, but it is now cooled and hard. At the end of the tunnel are two stone doors, locked when I check.

I check out the walls, and see there are fish bones frozen in it, as well as a mermaid's bones. I send Logan to get the others, who brings them back after an oddly long stall. "Took ya long enough! Did you stop for dinner or something?"

Garreth boggles. "It's not like I speak death weasel."

I sigh. "Oh, he's not just running up to you for food. I mean, he is running up to you for food, but there's more, y'know?"

Polly looks. "Whoa, I didn't know fish were in walls." I show her the mermaid bones as well.

Then I pick the lock to the doors. It swings open, and I see two big, red-skinned humanoids, with tails of tornadoes, and a smaller one behind them.

I say to the djinn, "Wow, hey there. You know there's mermaid bones out here, right?"

Castle Whiterock 17 October 2022: You're the best around, nothing's gonna ever keep you down

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior

What they did

More of the magic-foiling ivy grows here in a thick mass, coating all surfaces of the tunnel and making it hard to move around. We see a steady light up ahead. We hear what sounds like loud fire sounds with hissing and cracking and popping. But it seems to have meter and pattern as if it was speech.

Garreth throws vials with the herbicide, and tosses them at the spell-ruin ivy. As he tosses the vials, I look up. "Wait a minute. First I think I see Thrognar, then Stonemaul, then Thrognar." I look down at his flask. "What's in this?"

Garreth slings the sack over his shoulder, and I say he should ask his sword about the din. Garreth tells us that it's akin to the red dialect of Chromatic, but not the same. So Bleu casts Gift of Tongues on me, and I put on my ring and go to listen.

The first voice says, "Hey, there are interesting noises! Maybe it is something interesting we can twist into a pretzel!"

Another voice says, "Probably like more fire tiger things."

The first voice says, "Man, I wanna go to the Bleak Theater."

The other voice says, "Eventually, eventually."

The first voice says, "I heard the Impressario was getting Gar-Eff and the Murderhoboes in concert!"

The other voice says, "Yeah, and those drow were cute! I wonder what fun things they can do with Web!"

A deeper voice says, "Whatever. The noises might be dangerous."

The first voice says, "Bah, you worry too much!"

The deep voice says, "It's my job to worry."

I go back and say to Garreth that he should put on a concert. Garreth starts singing a traditional drow song about murdering your mother to steal her chair or something in Undercommon, and Logan barks along.

The first voice says, in Undercommon, "What amazing singing!" Two overgrown, humanoid creatures come flying out, accompanied by a third clamping along. Two have small horns protruding from their head and wear baggy, purple pantaloons over their bright red skin. The third is a fearsome warrior, with plate armor and a long glaive at the ready. His black skin and fiery red hair mark him as a giant common to climates such as these.

The second red one says, in Undercommon, "Oh my God, it's Gar-Eff!" Garreth keeps singing how both mother and daughter are betrayed by a third party who also wants the chair, then bares his teeth.

The first red one says, "There's Polly and Ibizaber and Logan, but where are Seep and Eli?"

I say, "They went solo."

The first red one asks, "So what are you doing down here? Are you going to tour the Plane of Fire?"

Garreth says, "We're mostly looking for a way down to the dragon. We owe him a visit."

I add, "We can tour, too, however. What are the venues?"

The first red one says, "Just right this way to the Plane of Fire! Through the Portal, up the River of Magma, and you will be at the Palace of Fa'al'zaqan, Lord of the Efreet!"

I say, "Wow, that sounds like a helluva place to play!"

The first red one says, "It is the BEST venue in all the planes of existence!"

I say, "It would have to be with a name like Fa'al'zaqan."

Garreth says, "I didn't know we could get there from here. Although I shouldn't be surprised, I suppose."

The first red one says, "No, it is EASY! It is right this way!"

The other red one says, "Yes, we could show you the portal"

Garreth nods. "Why not? We can't visit today, but it can't hurt to know the way. Might I know your names?"

The first red one says, "I am Mufaqu and this is Fadulla." They bow. The giant says nothing. Garreth bows, then eyes the giant and raises one eyebrow slightly. Mufaqu says, "Oh, he is a mere janissary guard, of no importance. Not like us noble efreeti."

I say, "Well, we've never meet such esteemed efreeti before."

They swell with pride. Fadulla says, "We have not had visitors come to serenade us in our place of work before, where we long labor at hacking the accursed ivy!"

We hash out the details about the Plane of Fire, talking about the important things: our salamander amulets, magma, things being safe for mustelids, fine fire elementals candied with "delicious chocolate and undead peppers crust" and "caster sugar made with real casters," and, of course, booze. Garreth and Mufaqu agree to have a friendly wrestling match, with Mufaqu enlarging Garreth to make a fair fight. If Garreth wins, he gets a wish, and if Mufaqu wins, we agree to do a gig at Mufaqu's noble villa.

I take a swig before the fight. "In one corner, we have the master of flame Mufaqu! In the other corner, we have Gar-Eff, hopped up on steroids!" Mufaqu tries to grab Garreth, but he steps aside and concentrates on speeding up. Mufaqu again tries to grab Garreth after a feint, but Garreth steps back. He tries some kung fu moves and falls down, but leaps back up. 

Mufaqu grabs Garreth, and Garreth says something mean about water elementals being better wrestlers. This stuns Mufaqu, so Garreth starts to wiggle his way out until Mufaqu gets his wits back. "I do wrestle better than a water elemental!" Garreth gets out, then grapples Mufaqu back. He yells to stun Mufaqu, then keeps battering him down, at last pushing him into the fluid around the island.

Garreth climbs to his feet and dusts his hands. Mufaqu, still annoyed about the water elemental remark, grants Garreth his wish: to become an even better fighter. They go back into their area in a huff.