Game log 27 August 2023: I've been through the woods on a Tonfa Guy with no name, and I bet his back hurts

Personae dramatis

Honsou, thief and item smasher
Tonfa Guy, doesn't speak or have a name but has a tonfa
Felcanis, elven cleric
Grignok, handsome orc druid

Quid occurrit

The next morning the heroes all wake up from the floor of the Scarlet Harlot. Suddenly with them is a guy with a tonfa and a hood who says nothing. Honsou pickpockets the tonfa guy but the tonfa guy is broke, so Honsou gets lint. Mateo finds the Tonfa Guy to be bothersome so he takes off.

The heroes chat among themselves about the spiders. Honsou gets the idea to find a sage, and after asking some blokes over breakfast, he learns there are two sages in town, Dénnos and Prainêr.  

They go to Dénnos's cottage amid the gathering storm clouds, and a middle-aged man opens the door. A middle-aged, middle-class man opens the door, and Honsou says  Honsou says the Tonfa Guy is hungry. The man at the door says, "Oh, good gravy! Your friend should go to a tavern!" Tonfa Guy looks over at Honsou and narrows his eyes. The man with the twisted ear raises his eyebrow. "Well, good gravy, why have you come here?" Tonfa Guy holds up his fingers to Honsou rubbing them together to indicate the sign for money, but Honsou, Felcanis, and Grignok tell the man about the spiders.

The man raises an eyebrow. "All these giant spiders! Where are they? I'd like to see some." Honsou says they're in the Eldalîvā Woods outside of Bóllā, and the man lights up. "You guys should be thrilled that I have had some light enter my life again and I want to get out and further my studies." He introduces himself as Dénnos, and the heroes tell him who they are. Dénnos shrugs. "Well, first meeting, I guess. Never heard of any of you." Dénnos goes to hit his books to find out about giant spiders, especially in the Bóllā area.

Honsou looks around for things to steal, and Dénnos scowls when he sees Honsou looking over his house. "Watch it!" Dénnos's lip curls, then he pulls something out of a book. "Well, I have this letter from this wayfarer coming from the woods, and it seems there's something humanoid with the spiders, at least from what hints the survivors saw. Ettercaps do often live among spiders. I'd like to study ettercaps. They're like giants, which is my area." Honsou tells them there were indeed ettercaps there. "Oh, what kind of traps did they have?" Honsou tells him about the sticky floor. "Oh, the webbing in the den is sticky? Very interesting." They leave and agree to meet up the next morning, a downpour having started while they were outside.

The next day is clear so they set forth. Dénnos has a pack and some gear, including armor and a sword, and brings along with a horse and mule. "I've kept it up from my time in the Reapers. Let's go."

The day is uneventful, and they. make it to Bóllā by nightfall. The lookout there scowls then cackles madly. "You'll be sorry again!" Then he yawns and leans back and sleep.

Dénnos wants to visit the lord of the manor, so they go to the manor, and Lady Savendótē lets them inside. "Let me guess, the spiders again, right? I hope you weren't the one who took the cow." Tonfa Guy looks at Honsou quizzically. Lady Savendótē smiles. "Oh, yes, Honsou loves the livestock. A little more than most, from what they say." She giggles. Tonfa Guy gives Honsou a friendly elbow, and Honsou says at first that he didn't take the cow, then that he sold her. Lady Savendótē says, "Don't worry, we know the spiders got your date."

Lady Savendótē says, "I do hope you don't mind picking out a campsite for the night." Honsou asks if they can stay in town again, and she says, "No, Honsou, we do not want you in town again. And you'll be able to better monitor the spiders if they show up."

Honsou sees the cheese and jerky from their rations on the ground when he goes outside after Tonfa Guy rifled through them. Grignok sets up camp, and Honsou finds that the cows are inside the serf hovels, so he cannot use one as bait. The night passes, and no spiders come along. Well, none of the big ones. There were a couple of smaller ones that spun webs on Honsou's bow. The spiders don't carry off the jerky and cheese the annoying vegetarian tossed on the ground.

Grignok leads the group into the woods. He doesn't always pay the best heed to the path, and they get to the same green glowing tree as before. Honsou checks out the tree, and hears a rattle coming from inside. Honsou steps back and throws a stick inside, and the rattle gets louder, and a hiss joins the rattle. He hears a twig break behind him as he steps from the tree.

They turn, and there are five hobbits with hobbit-sized spears behind them. Tonfa Guy waits to see what they do. One of the hobbits hisses, "Go away, and take your pet with you!" pointing at Grignok. Honsou hints at killing at all of them, and the lead hobbit moves for the others to step back. "Watch it, we're a clan. We have others." The hobbits once again step back, then step back again and again. "We don't want any trouble."

Honsou suggests they wander off, and they look at each other, then wander away unusually fast. The rest of the day is not too thrilling. Bill steps in a trough filled with badger dung not long before they stop and camp. At the end, Felcanis sets up camp.

Res aliae

Nope, Tonfa Guy has no name. Right now his character sheet is in flux (ninja, if someone wants to make a pitch), but the name "Tonfa Guy" will survive any tweaks. 

Whiterock 21 August 2023: God of the Bullywugs, Celestial Sewer Rat, and Friends 1, Silhouette and Friends 0

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

And our helpers:

Elweiss, ghostly guardian

Fthirya, aka Erica, ghaele eladrin

Galdiera, kobold who thinks she's an elven paladin

What they did

Garreth whips out a potion and slams it, then growls menacingly at the dragon as he steps back into the fight. Erica slams her sword into the coins and the coin golem sprays apart and stops moving, then her next blow hits the dragon. "Ya killed mah golem!" Logan takes down the pit fiend, which blows up at his feet, though he stays up. Elweiss casts Puissance from his spear, then lobs it at the dragon, hitting her in the innards. I rush at the dragon and her tail bats me away, but some of the rocks from above fall on her, pinning her. Polly shoots thrice at Silhouette, and Silhouette bats away all three. Galdiera spins around and tries to hack Silhouette over the skull, but she loses her balance.

Silhouette swings her limbs at Elweiss, who doesn't feel the pain. "A gosh darn ghost? Ah know how ta treat wid ya!" She blasts arcane energy at Elweiss, but he takes the magic. "Gah! I was gonna Disrupt Undead!" She instead blasts Erica, who also withstands the magic, but Silhouette's tail swipe knocks her back. She then sneers at Polly, and swings her limbs at her. "Elves taste so good, like cookies!" Polly's body goes back to the wall, her innards spilling out as she dies.

I yell out, "No!" as if I were lamenting the loss of some space wizard whom I had just met a few hours before.

Garreth roars. "I'll kill you for that, dragon!"

Silhouette casts another spell at Elweiss, and this time he feels his being tear asunder, though he stays standing. She also casts Slow at Erica, and Erica does not withstand it.

Garreth drops from the air into the water then rockets forward through the water towards Silhouette's back, with Scalemar leading the way. The dragon roars in pain from the blows, but stays up. Elweiss lobs the spear again at the dragon, but this time she swats it away. This is the last thing she does, as Logan rips, Logan tears, Logan shreds! Her innards spill out all over, blood going everywhere. Logan tastes into her flesh, which he likes, though it is a bit pickled.

RIP, Silhouette. Died fighting the god of the bullywugs and a celestial sewer rat.

Castle Whiterock log 31 July 2023: The sorriest god

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

And our helpers:

Elweiss, ghostly guardian

Fthirya, aka Erica, ghaele eladrin

Galdiera, kobold who thinks she's an elven paladin

What they did

Garreth swings Scalemar many times, and carves through thick dragon hide. Erica slashes the coin golem, but it doesn't hurt it much. Logan slams the pit fiend but it stays up. Elweiss lobs his spear at the eye of the dragon but she swats it away. I try to stab the innards of the dragon but she pushes my knife away. Polly shoots the dragon thrice in the back of the head, and one knocks her to the foul water. Galdiera slams the pit fiend and tries to kick it.

Silhouette blasts acid at Polly, Bleu, Elweiss, and Logan, which hurts Polly but not the others. Then she tries to swat at Garreth and me, but I step away. Garreth winces from the pain and totters, and says, "You'll regret turning your back on an immortal."

Silhouette insults Garreth, "You're the darn sorriest god I seen since the bullywug god!"

Garreth hisses back, "I killed him, too." Left unsaid is that the bullywug god is a kobold named Kubunk who crippled his finger when he was picking his nose, and all the other kobolds clown on him.

The coins pelt Erica and Logan, then lashes out with monetized pseudopods at Logan, Bleu, and me. Its pseudopod stretches too far as I step away.

The pit fiend lobs a fireball at Logan, but he gets away. "What? You stupid celestial sewer rat!" Then it turns to Galdiera and cackles at her in Celestial. She smiles and says, "I prefer garlic parmesan," as she steps aside.

Garreth sneers at Silhouette, "Look at those cute widdle wings. You gonna bat 'em at me again?" He chugs a potion and whacks her.

This does not faze Silhouette. "Ah ain't a blonde bimbo like that darn Celestial you got, mah wings are all natural!"

I step forward. "Yer a goddamn newt, not a dragon."

Flustered, she spits back, "Ah ain't a newt!" as I stab her.

Logan again slams the pit fiend, but this slam does nothing, nor do his slashes afterwards.

Elweiss stabs the coins, which doesn't help much.

Polly says, "Ooh! You stunned the dragon for me, Zaber!" then shoots three arrows, but Silhouette swats them away.

Galdiera gives the pit fiend some mighty blows, but it stays standing.

The dragon gathers her wits and flies past me—I get out of the way—to try to claw both Erica and me. I step aside while Erica parries, but Silhouette knocks the pillar towards Bleu, who steps back, letting it splash harmlessly. She hisses at Polly, "I love elves! They taste like cookies!"

Polly smiles. "Thanks! Elves love cookies!"

Silhouette then swats at Erica and Logan with her wings, with her fore claws and teeth at Polly, and her back claw and tail at me. Logan, Erica, and I all get away, but and we think Polly is a goner but somehow, she misses. 

The pit fiend tries to step on Logan and Galdiera with its bulk, and tries to hack away at Galdiera again, but misses both.

Game log 2 July 2023: Along came an ettercap

Personae dramatis

Mateo de Leon Garcia, stylish red wizard

Grignok, orc druid often in panther shape
Felcanis, elf cleric
Honsou, larcenous bowman

Quid occurrit

The next day, they wake up, and Grignok tracks the giant spider. He points to the broken branches in the trees. "It came through the trees." At about mid-morning, they reach a thick patch of trees where the tracks stock. The trees have big slashing marks on the bark that go up. Grignok says the irregular slash marks are obviously from the giant spiders.

Grignok sticks his head the grove. "I don't see much. The trees here must be really thick up top."

Honsou climbs up the tree. After several minutes, he sees some webbing in the trees. He can stand on a branch up. He cuts a window into the webbing, and sees a passage inside. He calls down, and Grignok and Mateo make it up. Grignok points out the webbing is sticky and they will go through slowly unless he turns into slime.

Suddenly, a long, slender arm ending in a two-finger claw comes out and tries to grab Mateo but he gets out of the way. Honsou whips out his bow and quickly loads an arrow, and points it at the hole, while Mateo casts a small fireball. The claw comes out and just gets a grip on Mateo, and Honsou shoots it, but the arrow bounces off harmlessly. Grignok will try to grab the hand right back, but it pulls its claw away. Mateo lobs the Fireball inside, and the claw pulls back.

Mateo casts Ignite Fire and Shape Fire and starts burning a hole through the webbing. The look through and do not see the ettercap. Grignok asks, "Why are you trying to destroy Nature? We can kill the Ettercap, it is not Nature, but we do not want a forest fire."

The climb down, and Felcanis asks, "Did you take care of whatever was up there?" They rest, then start back to the village.

Along the way, they pass under some trees, and two man-sized spiders drop on Bill. Honsou and Mateo shoot but miss, while Grignok casts Beast Speech. "Do not harm the mule, for he did not harm you!" The spiders start to step back. Honsou shoots one of the spiders, and Mateo is drops his crossbow whips out his longsword. Grignok kicks the spider and it falls. The other one flees as Honsou shoots the foot of the hurt one, stapling it to the ground. Grignok kicks the spider again and it passes out. Felcanis casts healing spells on Bill while the others kill the spider.

That night, they eat on twigs from Felcanis's Create Food spell. The next day, there are storm clouds overhead. They set forth, then after some walking, they hear some growls behind them. They turn to look, and see a pack of six wolves. Grignok casts Beast Speech, and after some barking, finds the wolves want the heroes to stay away.

At the end of the day, they make it back to Bóllā. Nobody seems to care much about the heroes and Lady Savendótē lets them stay at her manor. Honsou tries to steal a cow for some reason, but it makes a loud moo when he tries. A serf calls Honsou, "Stupid like a shoe," and, "A ball-less imp."

After that, they walk for a day and make it back to town.

Castle Whiterock 10 July 2023: Acid!

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

And our helpers:

Elweiss, ghostly guardian

Fthirya, aka Erica, ghaele eladrin

Galdiera, kobold who thinks she's an elven paladin

What they did

Garreth sighs, cracks his neck left and right, and pulls out his sword. "What do you think Scalemar?" After a moment, he says, "Yes, I've taken great pains to make you ready for anything."

I shake my head and lean down to Logan. "There he goes, talking to a sword that we can't hear …"

Garreth looks up and grins. "Zaber, I don't think letting you go off alone is wise. So maybe you and I advance together and you are my spotter?"

I nod. "Yeah, let's go." I put my ring back on and poof, then slug some whiskey while Garreth drinks from the Everful Everclear Skin.

Garreth shouts out into the dungeon. "Hey there, draaaaagon. I heard you … something awful." He stops for a weird moment and focuses his chi before singing "Afternoon Delight." He grips my arm somehow, and we go towards the edge.

The filthy, burning water suddenly swells, and then the head of the black dragon comes through the water. "Stop singing!"

Garreth chuckles. "Oh, hello, sweetheart."

Silhouette hisses. "Scithia didn't tell me you were so annoying!"

Polly shoots three arrows fast at Silhouette, and one hits her eye. "Bloody elf!" Galdiera calls up mighty energy, and Bleu stands warily as Garreth shuts his eyes and beckons forth his speed. Logan pulls the cord linked to the crossbow on his back. The dragon parries it, as well as Elweiss's spear. I hold and wait until she comes near. Silhouette says something in Draconic, and Bleu shouts, "She said, "Golem, attack!' in a lowland swamp accent of Draconic!" The coins take on a the shape of a man (or woman, who knows?) and fly at us. Most of us get out of the way, while Bleu blinks. A pillar comes down at Garreth and me, but we get out of the way.

Silhouette shuts her eyes and casts a spell on herself, likely Great Haste because she's suddenly much faster. She spits acid at us, though it hurts only Erica as the rest of us get out of the way. Silhouette lobs a red gem from her paw at Erica's feet where it bursts. This doesn't hurt anyone other than Logan, who takes a little blunt trauma. Silhouette them claws, bites, flaps her wings, and swats her tail at Garreth, who parries every blow. "Ya'll done took out the demonhold, thank ya for that!"

As Polly shoots and misses Silhouette, a pit fiend shows up, coming from the gem Silhouette threw. Galdiera, who is ticked pink to see the demon, swats at it, hitting once and wounding it. Garreth dives into the water, and comes up at Silhouette's rear, but she parries his blows with her hind legs and tail as she does. He keeps going up with her, hitting her once. "Ya darn half ork, I ain't callin' you immortal like ma handmaid Scithia!" Erica charges up her chain lightning and blasts the golem, stunning it. She bounces the lightning to the demon, hitting it twice as Logan is wounding it. Logan likewise goes after it like a flying furry ginsu knife of good and it falls down. Elweiss casts Great Haste then lobs his spear again, scratching the cornea of the demon. I step and stab at her eye, but she swats me away.

Silhouette steps and tries to smush Garreth, then rend him, which she cannot do. She casts again and again tries to rend Garreth to bits, which she again cannot do. "Stand still, ya li'l varmint!"

Garreth bares his teeth. "Yer kung-fu is weak! Hic!"
The pit fiend lets out an aura of fear, somehow scaring Elweiss but no one else. His eyes widen. "Oh no, a pit fiend! It might … I dunno!"

I chuckle. "Listen, bub, you aren't remotely as scary the stuff I've seen after taking acid, and not the stuff under us!"

The pit fiend lobs a fireball at Logan, sizzling him a little, then lobs firey meteors at Galdiera, Logan, Erica, and Bleu. This burns all of them, but Bleu's Bless takes the pain and gently pushes her out of the way.

Castle Whiterock 3 July 2023: Going down

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior

And our helpers:

Elweiss, ghostly guardian

Fthirya, aka Erica, ghaele eladrin

Galdiera, kobold who thinks she's an elven paladin

What they did

We go back into the dungeon, and down to talk to Scithia, since we know she has spoken to Silhouette about us in the last week. On the way, Garreth talks to his sword again, then tells us that he's even more in favor of killing Silhouette the Black Dragon. Go figure, but he takes a big drink afterwards, so I know he's doing alright. We can't have him drinking water.

Scithia tells us that Silhouette stopped giving her baubles after the first few things she said about us. "She doesn't think you are immortal, by the way. So don't die! I have a bet."

I chortle, "I don't think she is immortal."

Garreth chuckles. "If I don't die, she won't be around to pay it. What was the wager?"

Scithia says, "She was going to give me an awesome coach for my art gallery."

Garreth asks her, "What do I save you if you lost?"

Scithia says, "I was going to have to wear my maid dress and polish all her scales and talons with a toothbrush."

Since Scithia had bet on Garreth, we ask Scithia for more information on Silhouette, and learn that Silhouette likes swimming and surprising people by coming up with a big splash, and that the water is acid and toxic, though not as toxic as the poison Scithia used on Garreth.

We go down into the dragon's lair, this time taking the other hallway straight to the gong.  There, we get ready for the dragon, casting spells to buff us.

Castle Whiterock 19 June 2023: Stoned again

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

(Stonemaul, dwarven cleric of Danethar)

And our helpers:

Elweiss, ghostly guardian

Fthirya, aka Erica, ghaele eladrin

Galdiera, kobold who thinks she's an elven paladin

What they did

I check out the ledge, traveling with my left side to the wall, and come to a ledge that looks like another ledge that I saw earlier. Then I keep going, coming to a small, hollowed-out cave in the rock wall that triggers my anxieties.  Its floor is black and lumpy like coal or rock and is invisible, which I can see since Bleu has cast See Invisible on me.

I keep on flying, and make it to another cave. Inside is cooler air and a carriage with the seal of the Kingdom of Morrain on the side. Beyond the carriage is an opening that leads away from the lake. Around the carriage are many items of adventuring gear, and under each item is a small sheet of paper. The items include a beautiful lyre, a greatsword, a scroll case, a book, a rod, and a barrel. Inside the carriage is a painting and a bunch of wine bottles.

Wine bottles? Someone made this for me.

I check one out. Each bottle has a brass and platinum stopper bearing a seal of Morrain and is decorated with a silver chain and emerald. According to the paper, these bottles are of the famed 2716 vintage, the best in the history of Morrain! These are the 25 bottles missing from Vemin the Magnaminous's well-known last party, that everyone wanted to remember but no one was able to!

I grab a bottle, and fly back to Garreth to celebrate. We both take a swig, and it has the light scent of fruitiness and a lasting tingle of delight with a hint of chocolate on the palate. Galdiera whines that we're supposed to be fighting a dragon, but I let her know that Garreth gets even tougher with booze. Elweiss recognizes the vintage as soon as he sees the bottle. I tell him about the carriage, and he says it might be the Bearer of Kings, a carriage for the Kings of Morrain. That and Princess Thistle (whoever she is) went missing long ago, and folks say a dragon did the deed.

We talk about the dragon, and agree that it has been watching us. I pull a bag over my back and use it as a blanket, then signal to Garreth that we should lure the dragon out somehow. He tells me that Scalemar thinks the gong is some kind of signal. We go back to the start of the maze and meet with Baghanaya and Scithia.

We ask them some questions. We give Baghanaya the bottle and he takes a swig, and, showing his good taste, also says it is great booze. We ask Scithia about the gong. She tells us that the statues under the gong are erstwhile lovers, and she seems to like it when I say that she must be a great lover since they had smiles on their faces. And she uses the gong to summon Silhouette, or she her.

"Who is Silhouette?" I ask.

"She is a black wyrm," she tells us. "She always makes me wait when I ring the gong." I say that means she has to die, but why does Scithia summon her? To pass her news, and Silhouette passes Scithia "pretty baubles and things, as well as cuties."

I get the idea that they wouldn't be upset if Garreth killed Silhouette, nor would they be upset if Silhouette killed Garreth and the rest of us. We go back to town, and look for warding against acid.

Castle Whiterock 12 June 2023: Lake Exxon Valdez

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

(Stonemaul, dwarven cleric of Danethar)

And our helpers:

Elweiss, ghostly guardian

Fthirya, aka Erica, ghaele eladrin

Galdiera, kobold who thinks she's an elven paladin

What they did

After a short rest, I give Logan a swig of beer and start scouting ahead. Garreth asks Bleu if the dread wraiths will strike again, and she says, "They are unlikely to confront us as they did before, given we destroyed many of their number. Bleu, "They seemed to be motivated to serve Benthosruthsa."

I check out the nooks and crannies, and find nothing. We get through a narrow hallway, though Garreth and Galdiera slip through easily, and make it to a big cavern, bigger than a neighborhood of Cillamar. Before us is a lake covered in oil and filth, with pockets of fire on top of it. The ledge on which we find ourselves goes to the left, while to the right the ledge becomes a bridge to a big island in the middle. There's more beyond our sight.

I float over the land bridge to the island, and can see more of the cavern to my right. In there, I can see another island of cooled magma, but covered with gold and platinum coins. "I wonder what that really is. I'm sure it's a trap, but what laid the trap?" After some chatter and Bleu casting Seek Platinum and letting us know that the coins truly are platinum, I fly to scout the island, with Logan hanging midway as backup.

As I get nearer I see gems and other gear among the coins. I look up for a trap; the ceiling is covered in stalactites, nothing odd. I stick out my knife to touch the coins when I feel a tingle, so I pull back my knife. Instead, I look to the side of the cavern, and see a short promontory of scree at the end of a hallway. At the tip of this is a big brass gong. I go a little nearer, and see two statues of handsome men, one a man and the other an elf, holding up the gong, with a snaky "S" sigil on it. I bring others, and Bleu says that she thinks they are petrified, not golems, likely victims of Scithia.

We look at the gong, and wonder what to do next.

Castle Whiterock 5 June 2023: Fear will keep the local systems in line

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

(Stonemaul, dwarven cleric of Danethar)

And our helpers:

Elweiss, ghostly guardian

Fthirya, aka Erica, ghaele eladrin

Galdiera, kobold who thinks she's an elven paladin

What they did

I back off once I feel the tingle; it's not from shrooms. "Hey, guys, there's something alive up there. Or not alive but moving." I look down. "Logan, did you smell anything?" He shakes his head.

Garreth wonders if it is a construct or a corpse, and will show up on Seek Magic, so he tells Bleu to cast it. She casts it, and as she's telling us that nothing came up, when I feel my spine tingle. I'm about to say something when see-through spectral warriors come up from the floor! The say as one, “You shall not profane the lair of Great Benthosruthsa!”

Polly slashes at the warrior nearest her and it steps back after taking a little pain. Logan slashes the one nearest him twice, and he shivers from the icy chill going through him, so he steps back. I warily go down the hall a little, checking for others. Erica launches Chain Lightning at the warrior nearest her. It steps aside, but the lightning zaps the one behind it. Galdiera starts glowing and her hair becomes spiky. Bleu casts Great Haste on Garreth, who concentrates on speed.

The spectral warriors slash at us. Garreth parries, but one hits Erica. The cut doesn't hurt her, but the chill does. Polly and Logan step away from the blows, but one lands on Galdiera.

Elweiss stabs his spear twice at one, but it steps away. Polly, Logan, and I step back, and Erica rears her head back and lets out a primal holy scream. The spectral warriors turn to run, then Galdiera and Garreth slaughter some fleeing ghosts.

Erica's eyes flash holy fire, and she says something in some tongue that I don't know.

Castle Whiterock 8 May 2023: Never fight while thirsty or sober

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

(Stonemaul, dwarven cleric of Danethar)

And our helpers:

Elweiss, ghostly guardian

Fthirya, aka Erica, ghaele eladrin

Galdiera, kobold who thinks she's an elven paladin

What they did

We go back to Castle Whiterock, and Elweiss, Erica and Galdiera link up with us. After finding out that Galdiera and Erica drink elven wine and elven brandy, respectively, I bring along some good elven booze with for the trip.

This amazes Galdiera. "You intend to drink while battling the forces of Darkness and Evil?"

Garreth shrugs. "Makes it hard for the bad guys to figure out what I'm doing."

We go into the lair of Baghanaya and Scithia. They are amazed that we bring along backup, but I give Baghanaya a bottle of good scotch and we go past and into the tunnels.

We wend through the tunnels, and it looks like it is going down. I can smell the sulfur and feel the heat, but there is no flame yet.  The tunnel makes a sharp turn, and goes into a wide room. To our left is a wrecked mural of a dragon setting fire to a village, while to the right is a toppled statue of a dragon, which would have been about twice my height when whole.

Polly glares at the mural. "So. Not. Nature."

Garreth asks Bleu about the mural, and she starts her babble: "Oh, look. There is a head. As you can see the head has a pronounced scar, and a distinguished jawline, as noted in Waffston the Crispy's posthumously published tome, Who's Who of Evil Dragons. It is none other than Benthosruthsa."

I roll my eyes. "Brevity is the soul of wit, sweetheart." Bleu goes on about looking dragons in the teeth and the bicuspids of dragons that feed on tender children or something.

Garreth grips Scalemar and thinks. "That's the same dragon in the mural in the Audience Hall of the Thane in Narborg!"

Galdiera sniffs. "Clearly the beast is possessed of a great ego and hubris. Look how vain it is with monuments to its greatness!"

Erica adds, "If I had a jawline like that I'd smash the statue too! Or I'd have children with myself. That's really rugged!"

Say wha? This puzzles me as much as anyone reading this. I swear to you that I'm not high, that I've had maybe one shot of whiskey after a beer, and that she really said that. "… children with myself?"

Erica beams. "One of every color!"

I bump into the wall, then put my hand through the wall. "Whoa." Then I step through. After some running into the illusionary wall, everyone else makes it through as well. Bleu scans the wreckage  for any hint of working magic items.

I put on my ring and scout ahead. The tunnel reaches a T-fork. To the right, I can feel a light wind, but to the left, it's still. I can make out some ghostly faces hiding among the rocks at the fork, and shiver.

I go back to warn the others. "Elweiss, do you have any friends down here?"

Elweiss shakes his head. "I don't think so. I mean, I kinda play cards with the lich every so often, but most of the restless dead here aren't friendly."

Galdiera looks warily at Elweiss. "Undead? As the wisdom of Brother Elias says, suffer not the undead to live."

I throw up my hands, though most cannot see this. "Well, there are some ghostly faces up ahead. They hang out in rocks and stuff."

Galdiera narrows her eyes. "Brother Elias spoke of this lich."

Uh-oh. Elweiss might have spoken too much, so I have to say something. "Elias has been drinking too much communion wine. He never could hold it. That's why Garreth and I always drank it for him." This isn't wholly a lie, of course—Elias isn't a strong drinker, and Garreth and I always did drink his communion wine for him. Serves him right for saving it—we had to drink something when our stronger stuff ran out. That communion wine isn't the best, but sobriety is even worse.

Galdiera goes on. "Sounds like dread wraiths. They are cowardly bound servitors or haunts that cannot pass on due to chains of loyalty. Their blows can sap vitality as well as deal wounds. Mere steel is not proof against them nor does it hurt them." She stops, then adds, "But I have a Ghost Touch sword, so, bring it!"

Garreth asks, "Is there a simple way to release them, or shall we just cut them down?"

Galdiera chuckles. "I find that the time way to reason with evil is once the evil has been cut into very small pieces. But perhaps there is a way to help them move on." She shrugs, then looks skyward for a moment. "Divine Guidance speaks that this is a DCC module, so …"