Who are these yahoos?
Ibizaber (aka Zaber) the Clever, Gorgeous, and Besotted, most beloved person in Cillamar
Garreth, strongest person in all Cillamar
Seépravir (aka Seep), possibly the mightiest and definitely the shiftiest wizard in Cillamar
Polly Daze, the incredibly cute deadly archer
Stonemaul, a dwarven cleric of Danethar
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior of Justicia who seems to have come from nowhere and goes back there
Keel, a minotaur with a big anchor who also comes from nowhere
Tobar, an archer who comes from the popular homeland of "Nowhere"
What did the hoboes murder?
I slip behind a wasp. Polly, as always, starts peppering bugs with arrows. Stonemaul slams into a wasp and starts wailing on a wasp’s skull. I just step and stick my knife in the nearby wasp’s eye, dropping it.
Then, all of the sudden, a half-orc with a sword shows up on Garreth’s shoulders! Is it the mushrooms? I thought I only took enough beforehand to microdose. It might be that sneaky sword of Garreth’s. But whatever it is, he charges and slashes a beetle. The beetles bite back at both him and Garreth, but get nowhere.
Polly, with her thousand-yard stare, shoots down more wasps, while Garreth and the hallucinatory half-orc wails on more. I, of course, slip away; no sense getting killed when Garreth and Polly are taking care of things. Plus … I'm seeing a half-orc just show up out of nowhere and start knocking wasps.
Breathe, Zaber, breathe. The hallucinatory half-orc is on your side.
After Garreth and the hallucination, whom I shall call "Thrognar" for some reason, pound on more beetles, but one shoots flaming oil at Thrognar. He seems tough enough, so I imagine he takes it. Another shoots oil on Garreth, but he gets out of the way; Stonemaul just takes a blast at him.
Stonemaul and Polly both fight back against the beetles; Stonemaul smashing, and Polly shooting. I rush behind one and stab it, though it still files. Thrognar and Garreth again smack bugs, though Garreth's sword slips in his hand. Then, I swear I see the same attack again, and this time Garreth wounds the bug. (Psst, G: there's something funny with that sword. It's changing something in the Matrix.)
The bug before me tries to bite me, but of course I'm too fast for it. Another shoots oil at Stonemaul; he takes it on his armor. Polly and Stonemaul strike back for the bugs' rashness at not dying, and Stonemaul at last kills the big beetle. I likewise am not happy with the bug for fighting back, so I stab it in the eye, killing it.
Seépravir steps into the fray, and puts out the fire on Stonemaul's armor with Extinguish Fire. Garreth helps heal Thrognar with essential oils and potion from the funbag; wait, my hallucinations get hurt? Anyways, I poke in the rubbish and find a pouch with money, a potion, and a betting slip, as well as a twine ring. (Polly, it's our material!)
With that, I slip down to the next level as stylishly as I can, albeit invisibly, and find another bunch of bugs, flying around a big nest. The place is warmer, and the nest throbs. I slip off my ring and fly back up to let the others know, and they fly down. After some chatting on the way down, we choose to kill the bugs. Nobody listens to me about letting them be.
I slip behind one, while Thrognar, Garreth, and Polly do not use as much stealth and kill the first bugs they see. Showing them stealth and grace, I cut off the wing of the bug nearest me, and it falls to its death. The bugs still alive give off a weird buzz, but we shut out the din. Stonemaul smashes a bug to its death, pushing away its death throes, while another one tries to swat its tail at me, but I get out of the way. Thrognar takes a blow from a bug, but it doesn't bother him.
But it does make him turn into a big minotaur wielding an anchor.
Wait, what?
This can't be real. My mushrooms are making me dream up minotaurs wielding anchors as big picks? Why can't I hallucinate about a gang of naked elf princesses wielding beer steins?
I must look awful. Polly seems to look even better, however; she lost the thousand-yard stare. I don't want her to see me like this, so I slip on my ring.
Anyways, Garreth flattens a bug, and Polly peppers another bug with arrows. I cut the wing off a nearby bug, and then I see Stonemaul fly into the fray. Bugs miss both Stonemaul and me, then the minotaur, whom I'll call "Keel," tries to stick his horn into a bug's face, but it flies aside. Stonemaul smacks down a bug.
Polly does her usual spray of arrows at a couple of buts, and Garreth pounds another. I cut both the wings off another bug and it screeches to its doom. Then … a man with a bow comes out of thin air and shoots a bug.
This can't be mushrooms. This can't be beer. I'm losing my mind.
Stonemaul doesn't seem fazed, so he slaughters a bug. Keel slaughters another bug with his boat anchor … man, you don't know how it feels to talk about this. Anyways, that's the last of the bugs, and I need a drink, so I take one, and as I sip, I see Polly hurt.
I zip over to Polly and help Garreth hold her up. I ask her how many folks she sees, and she says she sees a four-armed minotaur. Stonemaul casts a spell to heal Polly.
The man with the bow introduces himself as "Tobar." Garreth says who he is, and that he and his talking sword are looking to kill a dragon. Stonemaul keeps healing Polly, and Garreth asks me to go looking through the nest.
I let go of Polly, who seems alright, and put my flask back in my pouch. I look at the nest, and find some papers. Polly lets me know these are spell scrolls, so I hand them over, then keep digging and find some platinum coins. I bring them to Garreth, and, after agreeing that the newest hallucinations are not assassins, I put on my ring and fly down after Garreth.
After we go down a few yards, the smell gets worse, as does the din of flapping wings. Sure enough, we see some more wasps, but with them are bigger wasps with curved forelegs, and red splotches on their yellow carapaces.
Since these are big and ugly, Polly deems them Not Nature and thus having to go. She shoots down a bug, then I take down another with a stab to the eye. Stonemaul swoops down and pounds a third into the ground. Tobar peppers a fourth with arrows. Garreth plays it oddly wary, but Keel smashes a bug in the face with his anchor.
The bugs who lived through our sneak attack come at us. I side-step one, Keel takes on one his shield, Stonemaul swats away a third, then a fourth, and I get out of the way of a fifth who runs into the wall. Darling Polly shoots and kills the bug next to me, leaving me in unforeseen safety. Tobar takes down a bug and stuns another while Stonemaul pounds one to death. Garreth makes two seldseen stabs to each eye of the bug, killing it.
Keel tries to put one of his horns into the last bug, but it gets out of the way and tries to stab Keel with its tale, matching misses with Keel. Polly shoots and misses that bug thrice. I try to slam it. Alas, I can't do much to it, falling back when I hit, but Stonemaul takes advantage of the slam and kills the bug.
I rub my eyes. "Mushrooms," I mutter. "Too many mushrooms."
Other stuff
This is two sessions together, with new folks coming and going, which explains the hallucinatory nature of the log. Telling this as Zaber, a lazy drunk, makes this somehow fit: he may well have taken a chance at a new mushroom or brew on the way to the dungeon, making him think he really can't handle his newest chemical.
