Dramatis personae
Angelista Morgan, undead hunter
Felcanis, elven cleric of the sun god Saundīvós
Poklov Ohar, dwarven Town Watchman
Quid occurrit
Poklov asks some of the local riff-raff and see if Šanzbašar has been around and last when was sighting, and if anybody knows his camp. He learns that Šanzbašar comes and goes through either the East or West gate; he isn't consistent. He took off about eight days ago or so. When Duke Pārrátōr of Nussóra showed up for a visit with the Count, he took off. Maybe the activity scared him off.
Poklov looks around for big boar tracks around the West gate. There are no boar tracks around the West gate, as it has been a few days. Poklov thinks he's swapping gates to cover his tracks. He last left through the East gate.
Poklov checks the East gate for tracks and does see some faded boar tracks there. "We dwarves are natural trackers, on the account of being so close to the ground. We don't have to hunch over like you tall humans."
Poklov goes to Angelista's camp at the edge of town. The boar tracks go about a mile or so east, staying a little off the road to the north. Then there's a bunch of tracks: man, boar, horse, and big claws. Poklov follows the boar tracks, which stop, and Angelista finds what looks like the clippings of a big eagle claw. The man and boar tracks both come and go to town, the horse and eagle tracks do not, but they all just stop. The horse and eagle tracks never leave the grove. The eagle and horse tracks look like they walk single-file through the grove.
Angelista asks, "So, what's the plan?"
Poklov says, "Young lady, plan is we look for this boar thats pallin' around with our criminal. That should lead us to his camp. We set up this here trap and lure him our. We get him alive and bring 'im in." Poklov shows off his man-trap. "We scare him out, he runs into a cross bolt to the belly or hits the trap. That'll put him down long enough for his to secure his hands and feed and pullin' him." Poklov sips a bit of wine.
Angelista wonders if she is looking for a shapeshifter, but realizes that the fore of an eagle and the rear of a horse mean hippogriff. "The tracks all stop here. They likely landed and took off in this spot. If they were flying that will make them VERY difficult to track. As for the boar, if it's not a pet it could just be coincidence. That's the problem. The tracks stop here. I suspect they landed and took off from this very spot. Do you think he will return?"
Poklov Ohar nods. "He's got to do business somehow, but now there is a bounty on him.I'm not so sure if he knows though. If he knows, I suspect he wouldn't come back. I'd like to surprise him on the road, but we run the risk of him using another entrance. He has to frequent the market to sell and 'hunt.'"
Angelista agrees. "This town has two entrances. How many are we? If he has been gone a week then he might be due for a return. Could perhaps you and I each cover an entrance and wait?"
The two agree to go back, rest up, then hang around a few days to see if Šanzbašar shows up. They also look for any loggers from near the swamp show up. Tales say that they have seen the guy, since he sometimes trades with them.
Badzûrz, the logger topman is in town. He's a free goblin with a wrinkled face. Poklov pulls out a silver and goes up to the goblin. "Good day, master goblin."
Badzûrz says, "Yeah, yeah, good day, good day, yeah."
Poklov tells Badzûrz, "There's bad man, been known to take people, do deplorable acts with minors. I have been looking around for him. The last I heard he may of sold some things at your camp." Badzûrz asks if he's a slaver, but Poklov isn't sure where the folks who disappear go. Then Poklov says how Šanzbašar looks.
Badzûrz nods. "Oh, yeah, the big guy, yeah? The one who has the big flapping sound whenever he comes and goes, yeah? We can hear his big flapper outside of camp. He hasta have something to haul away the stuff. We get the herbs, he gets the food. Dunno what it is since he doesn't bring it near, but it flaps and squawks and makes the biggest shits."
Poklov asks if these are cooking herbs. Badzûrz smiles. "Oh, medicinal herbs. Sometimes a little more medicinal than other times. They work great. When you wanna forget something, you forget. Some others quell hurts. Yeah, we'll letcha know next time we get some. But we get hurt on the job often, and some of the stuff he sells helps. Whatcha want with Šanzbašar, anyways?" He shrugs, and grabs his supplies. "You sell this stuff too, yeah?"
Poklov shakes his head. "No, I'm looking to see what he sells. Also for injuries you have that sun god place over there too."
Badzûrz looks puzzled. "They're not always accommodatin' to us goblins."
Poklov says, "I'll have a word with the Church of Saundīvós if you can let me know next time Šanzbašar comes in. When did he last show up at your camp?"
Badzûrz says, "Yeah, it was before the new moon."
Poklov tosses the silver coin to Badzurz. "This is for your time. There can be another if you come let me know when Šanzbašar returns. Leave me a message at the Scarlet Harlot." Poklov nods with a last laugh to Badzûrz.
Poklov meets with Angelista and Felcanis afterwards, and the three agree to wait a week to see if Šanzbašar shows up. If he doesn't show up, they go to the logging camp.
Over the next eight days, Angelista camps outside of town and trades her furs getting 60 for them, while Felcanis helps out at the temple. Poklov patrols in town, and sees a scribe lose control of his cart and ram into an artist's stall. The artist says it's the scribe hit his stall on purpose and sues. He whips up a posse and presses charges against the scribe, and sees that Poklov is a witness.
Once in court, the lawyer for the painter asks Poklov if he saw Anêr the Scrivener ram his cart into the stall of Viššīvós the painter, thereby wrecking his stock of paintings, and Poklov says he did, but tried to get everything worked out peacefully. (That didn't work out well.) After this, Viššīvós says that Anêr is mad because Viššīvós wanted to charge Anêr more for painting his picture because Anêr has a big nose and therefore more paint. Anêr has a big nose, but nothing next to Jimmy Durante.
After some childish bickering, the judge, a cranky old man with a glass eye named Nuštanêr, announces, "Anêr pays 600 copper to Viššīvós for wrecking his business, and another 600 to the court for doing this intentionally! And Viššīvós pays 150 copper for being a whiny little pigeon! I haven't seen this level of whining in court since that little wet boy Caleb and that rag Kôštē did an illegal spell duel last year!" Then he turns to Poklov and says, "Shut up before I find you guilty of something, too! Now, I need to get going!" He grabs his cane and trundles off.
After several days, after the quarter moon but before the full moon, a burly, bald, bearded visitor to the Scarlet Harlot shows up. Šanzbašar orders a drink, then takes a look around. Then, he leaves, so Poklov tries following him, and loses him in the Smelters Ward. Poklov ducks into the Wild Cats tavern and asks if the barkeep has seen Šanzbašar. He hasn't in a month.
Poklov goes to meet up with Angelista; she's watching the West Gate while Felcanis is watching the East Gate. They choose to go down to the logging camp, so Poklov runs over to the East Gate to get Felcanis. However, as Angelista watches, Šanzbašar walks right past Angelista and out the West Gate. She stands before him with her spear and whistles for Poklov.
Šanzbašar slams into Angelista to get her to move, but bounces off her shield, hits his shoulder on her spear, then hits the wall as he moves away in pain. The crowd moves away. Angelista asks, "Would you care to try that again?" She slams her shield into him, which doesn't hurt, then he pushes past her and starts running. She lobs her javelin at him, which misses, then lobs her spear at him, which hits but doesn't get through his armor.
Angelista, Poklov, and Felcanis meet up. Angelista lets them know that she ran into Šanzbašar, then they start tracking him. After a few hundred yards of following man tracks, they suddenly stop, and pig tracks start. There is some blood by both. They track back to the grove where you found the big eagle claw before, where the pig tracks stop and man tracks start again.
Angelista wonders if this means that this means that Šanzbašar is a shapeshifter, namely a wereboar. Poklov, since the tracks go nowhere from there, says Šanzbašar might also be a werecanary, which gets a chuckle.
After this, they set out for the logging camp. This means walking to the south, toward the swamp, for a few days. After two uneventful days, they make it to the light woods north of the swamp, and see some tree stumps, where they have been clearly cut. There they camp for the night.
While Felcanis is on watch that night, an orc and a man poke around the tent. Felcanis asks who they are, and instead the man asks if they're chapmen. When Felcanis says they aren't, the man asks why they're there, and Felcanis kicks Angelista and Poklov awake.
Angelista, in her uncouth way, gets from the man that they're patrolling. The man tries to get Angelista to say how many of them there are, and the orc starts counting all the folks and tents he sees. Poklov doesn't like orcs counting anything, so he points his crossbow at him. The man and the orc, seeing as this is getting nowhere and learning that the heroes are coming to their camp in the morning, go away.
At about midday, they make it to the logging camp. It is slow going through the thick woods, but the camp is easy to find through a wake of stumps. Badzûrz greets them, and Poklov asks him if he's seen Šanzbašar. He says that he hasn't, but Poklov thinks there's something odd about this, so he puts his arm around him and gets him near a large tree.
There, Poklov asks Badzûrz about Šanzbašar again, this time holding his axe. And Badzûrz says that Šanzbašar has been there, and was hurt and worried the woman who hurt him would come after him. They bound his wounds, then flew off into the swamp on his flying mount.
They trudge into the swamp the next day, though the cold weather keeps them from getting far. That evening, they hear what sounds like the squawk of a big bird of prey a few miles into the swamp. The day after that, they start trying to search the swamp for Šanzbašar's lair. The first day bears nothing, but the next morning, they chance upon a ring of trees around a big stone head. Poklov slaps Angelista on the back. "You did it, girl, great job. Now let's see if we can get this crook out." However, they choose to gather food all day, and nothing comes out to bother them, though in the evening, they hear some buzzing coming from the head.
That night, a 10-foot-tall man walks up to the camp while Angelista is on watch and calls out, "What the hell are you little maggots doing around here?" Angelista readies her spear as she yells for the others to wake up. She asks the giant to say who he is, but instead he asks what the murderhoboes are doing there. Angelista asks him to step into the light and, amazingly, he laughs and does that. "What's the matter, little lady? Wanna get a better look at the biggest man you'll see?"
Angelista says, "I like your hammer. What are YOU doing near our camp"
The giant says, "You're in my swamp."
Angelista says, "I didn't see your name on it." Poklov readies his crossbow.
The giant says, "I don't need it marked."
Poklov crouches and steps out the back of the tent, in sight of the giant. Angelista says, "We're not looking for trouble"
The giant laughs, then asks, "Then what are you doing here?" Upon seeing Poklov, he says, "Wow, that one's even smaller than you are! No wonder you're looking for big men like us. Usually, outsiders are trouble here." He looks at Poklov. "Relax, pipsqueak."
Angelista smiles. "I like your style, giant." Then she turns to Poklov. "Poklov, I will let you do the talking."
The giant smirks at Poklov. "Now, little guy, who are you and what are you doing here?" Poklov says they're camping in the swamp, and the giant asks why. Poklov says they are searching for a crook, and the giant shrugs. "Like I care. We make our own law here." He tells Poklov and Angelista to not make trouble or go near his cave, but won't say where his cave is. "If you were near it, I'd be bashing in your skulls." He tries to get out of Poklov where Poklov's "friend" dwells, but Poklov won't say either, so he leaves, grabbing a nest out of a tree and eating the eggs whole.
The next morning, they go to the ring of trees. Angelista starts to walk under a tree branch, and she jumps back as the branch reaches down to grab her. She sees the trees turning their trunks towards them. After Felcanis says that she doesn't know many fire spells, Poklov chooses to talk to the trees.
Poklov walks to the trees and bows right out of striking range. "Good day mighty … umm … oak."
The tree says, "Yeah, what's it to you, not-so-mighty dwarf?"
Poklov nods. "Fair assessment, as my strength is no where near that of yours. We are on the search for a foul being, and our last known whereabouts of said being was in that nice little cave there. We are here to bring him to fair justice."
The tree says, "Great. Sucks to be you."
Poklov says, "Funny you heard that, we have a belief he can turn in to a bird."
The tree says, "I've never met anyone who can turn into a bird, so he's not in there."
Angelista says, "Well, we would like to go in."
Poklov says, His crimes may bring disgrace to your fine tree ring here. I'd hate for him to bring dishonor to this area."
The tree says, "What do we care about his crimes? This area already is dishonorable! It sucks to be guarding it! It also sucks to be talking to you!"
Poklov tells the tree, "A man like that has no moral compass. When he gets tired of us, he may turn on you. He's already using you to protect him without you even knowing. I personally would be pissed off too, if I were to be used like that."
The tree says, "Great, we'll throw him too if he tries to come through us."
Angelista tells the tree, "We believe he can change shape. Have you prepared for that?"
The tree tells her, "We throw everyone regardless of shape! It's not our fault if they don't have a good shape for flying!"
Poklov says, "I believe he comes from above, can you stop that? What is it you are guarding exactly, besides a foul criminal?"
The tree shakes a bit, as if nodding. "Ah, no, that one guy with the hippogriff lands on that statue all the time. He cheats." Poklov asks where the cheater goes, and the tree says, "He goes in the statue head. Duh! That's the only place to go in our circle!"
Poklov asks the tree, "You just let him in there? What kind of guardians are you?"
The tree points to its roots. "Listen, buddy, if we weren't rooted in place, we'd go after him and you."
Angelista says, "We could get your cheater for you if you let us in and out. We only want him. So let us do you the favor of getting rid of him."
The tree shakes its branches side to side. "Ah, let me see. Maybe … no." Poklov asks what the trees want, and the tree says they want everyone to stop going inside the statue. Angelista asks why, and the tree says, "The druid who planted us a few centuries ago said to never let anyone in and do what we could to stop him. So we do." Poklov asks if they ever tried not stopping someone, and the tree says they always try to stop them.
What about the cheater? "We don't let the cheater in. He cheats and goes over us. Nothing we can do about him."
Poklov tries to call upon their feelings of not wanting to work with a crook, but the tree won't budge. "What, are you going to arrest a tree?" He says he'll tell the loggers about them, and the tree says that they threw them too. "Orcs fly great with their ears." Poklov even says someone could go at them with fire, but this doesn't scare the tree either. "Listen, buddy, you manage to torch us, and this whole patch of swamp goes up in flame, and the swamp might fight back. Good, bad, we're the guys with the branches."
Angelista asks about the cave under the stone head. The tree tells her, "It's dark. That's about all we can tell you. And there's folks in there. That one cheater who flies in, the pack of jackals, that one weird rock guy who went in a few hundred years ago and didn't come out, those little yellow guys with the big guy …"
Another tree says, "Damn, if that druid is still alive, she's gonna be pissed."
Angelista again tries to get the trees to let them through. So listen: we want to go in and get the cheater and then leave. Can we do that?"
The tree shakes its branches. "No. We've been lax on the job, it seems, so we can't let you in now."
And her last try? "What would be the ONE thing that WOULD get you to let us in?"
The tree says, "Nothing. You all suck!"
Poklov, Angelista, and Felcanis talk about whether they should go back to town and get some magic to deal with the trees. The risk in this is that Šanzbašar might get away. Poklov shrugs. "I guess we go back to town empty handed. Sucks, but these trees are being obtuse."
The tree shouts at him, "Whatever that means! Watch your language, stuntie!"
Poklov asks the tree, "What you going to do? You're over there, and I'm here. Are you going to grow legs and walk over here?"
The tree says, "We've never done that before."
Poklov walks around in circles. "Look at me, moving around on my own legs. Awwww … the freedom. This pisses off the trees.
Angelista says to the trees, "You are in no position to talk. Had I the choice I would torch the swamp to catch our quarry."
The tree taunts, "We're still taller than you!"
Poklov taunts back. "Of course you are, you're a dumb tree."
The tree says, "We're not dumb, we're smart! We're as smart as the giant!"
Angelista says, "You seem stuck. You're too stupid to know how to uproot yourselves and move."
Poklov grabs a stick. "Oh look, looks like one of you lost a finger." He breaks the stick. "So, does that make two fingers now?"
The tree yells, "We'll break a stick up your ass!"
Poklov jeers back, Not over there you ain't!"
The tree boasts, "We can throw you runts!"
Angelista says, "Not from there you can't!"
Poklov blows air at them. "Look at me, I control wind now."
The tree laughs. "Look at the stuntie, he's gone from suck to blow."
Poklov scoops up some mud and throws it at a tree. "What you going to do about that? Nothing!"
Angelista yells, "Your mother was a cactus!"
The tree calls back, "And yours is a prick!"
Poklov points at the tree and turns to Angelista. "I bet he makes love to the ugliest shrubs."
The tree says, "No, that's just Bob on the other side. He'll go for anything with two branches."
Angelista jeers again. "Hey you know what my mother has? Legs. Legs for walking around"
Poklov chuckles, "Two branches and no LEGS!"
The tree says, "We have way more branches!"
Angelista says, "Sucks, don't it? Getting picked on and nothing you can do about it. Hey tree, just thought you should know that other tree was talking shit about how he seeded your mama."
The tree says, "He's always saying that shit. Tim's an asshole."
Tim the tree says, "I did seed your mom!"
Angelista says, "So whoop his ass or his trunk."
The tree shakes its branches. "Rooted in place!"
Poklov makes a simple ghillie suit out of some branches and walks before the trees, then stands still. "I'm a tree!"
A tree yells, "You're too short to be a tree!"
Poklov yells back, "I'm a shrub!"
One of the trees crouches down. "Hey, look, I'm a dwarf!"
Angelista Morgan whispers, "I have the solution."
Angelista whispers, "Poklov, come here. I have the solution." Poklov comes over to her. "We turn them against each other to the point that they tangle their branches. I believe they are that stupid."
Poklov nods, "Yeah, I was trying to just piss them off."
A tree calls after Poklov. "Leaving? Good!"
Poklov asks, "So, umm … are all you all related? Hey too bad you can't leave, all you can do is leaf!" The trees pause for a moment before getting mad at that one.
Angelista whispers to him, "Yes, you have the right idea but the taunts are coming from you and not them to each other." She points at a tree then says aloud, "So, that tree was talking shit about how your dad was algae." She points at another. "And that tree said you seeded your mom."
Poklov asks, "And why are that one's leaves bigger? And why does that tree have thicker branches?"
The tree yells back, "It's not the thickness of the branches, it's how you use them!" That one tree tries grabbing the other tree next to it. "You think you're pretty studly with those thick branches, don't you?"
Angelista Morgan looks at another nearby tree. "Hey dude, why were you talking shit about how he was a needle branch?!"
The tree shakes a branch. "Needle this, wench!"
Angelista taunts "Needle branch, needle branch, that weed called you needle branch!" He even said he would pollinate your pucker. Called you an ugly mother pucker."
The trees start hitting each other with their branches, leaving an opening. The heroes dash through. Poklov Ohar whispers, "Lets get inside before they notice, nice job there Angelista."
Angelista looks around, slightly bothered. "Whatever we do in here we gotta be quick. If they detangle our exit is lost." And then she goes inside, but as she does so, a big glop of water falls from the top of the opening and onto her. It starts to wrap its waves around her and cut off her breathing. Angelista yells, "Felcanis, cast Flaming Weapon on someone's weapon! It DOESN'T matter WHICH."
Poklov gets his shield ready and Felcanis casts Flaming Weapon on the shield. Angelista fights to get the water elemental off her, and as soon as she does so, Poklov rushes at it with his flaming shield. Felcanis tries to hit it with her mace. The water elemental tries to grab Poklov, but he steps away. Poklov again smashes it with his shield, and the water elemental holds off just long enough for the heroes to dash into the opening and down the stairs.
Res aliae
This is three logs together, because I'm lazy. The travel and foraging take more in-game play than this log hints. Survival is a mini-game in this.
Lich Van Winkle doesn't use reaction rolls, but I used them many times in this. Badzûrz? Reaction rolls both times. The swamp giant? Reaction roll, which was a good thing since he reacted well. Had they been near his lair, he would have just pounded them. The randomly-rolled court case? Reaction rolls. The fighting trees? Nah, they'll fight no matter what. The real roll for them was the self-control roll for Bad Temper to keep from fighting each other once Angelista used Naturalist as an influence roll.
The water elemental was weak, partly because I couldn't figure out how to handle breaking free (I had it make a control roll and it got a whopping 1 control point), and partly because it was 5 pm and time to get going. It was the Weirdness Magnet encounter for the session, so I don't feel too bad about it only being a bother.
