Tuesday, May 3, 2022

Castle Whiterock 2 May 2022: It writes the songs

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior
(Stonemaul, half-orc holy warrior)

What they did

After seeing the hydra and swimming forward, Garreth cranes his head to look under it at a big mound of treasure. He looks longingly at it, then drops his knife and yanks out Scalemar. He focuses on his chi while the rest of us swim forward.

One of the heads of the hydra lines up with Garreth and me and lets out a burst of sound ripples forth. It hurts me, the sound being a Melvins bootleg, but not Garreth. The hydra's other seven heads, its claws, and its tail try to rend Garreth, but all miss as he steps back. Two of its heads shout more awful din: Nickelback at Garreth and Polly, and "Afternoon Delight" at Garreth and Logan. (I imagine Garreth must be hearing Nickelback playing a cover of "Afternoon Delight.") Then great lumps swell up on the hydra, and suddenly popping and sending hydrakittens towards Logan and me, though we step away. And to top that off, its other heads, claws, and tail snap for Garreth, who again gets out of the way.

Now, there are few things worse than Nickelback covering "Afternoon Delight," so Garreth cuts three heads off the hydra as it steps back. Bleu slides forward, Logan runs forward but to the side, and Thrognar steps, prays, and gets stronger and faster. I know I'm useless in a fore strike against it, so I start running around the wreck of the castle wall that breaks up the battlefield.

I hear a pop, then some rushing behind me, then a brief snippet of "Friday," and some agony in the voices of the elf women. Then there's some popping and the rushing of water, then some orcish grunts. I hear another loud pop while I hear a hydrakitten follow me, then a short blast of the chorus of "Run, Joey, Run." Some more popping and more orcish grunting come from behind as I turn and peer past the corner, a hydrakitten blocking my path.

A hydra head floats into sight. Bleu casts Great Haste on herself, and steps and turns to keep her back against the wall. Some more hydra blood fouls the water, then some hydrakitten heads float up. I cut off two hydrakitten necks.

I can hear a loud pop from the heading of the hydra, then a smaller pop with a rush of water. A hydrakitten smashes into Thrognar's back. It doesn't hurt him, however, and another pop and some slashing comes from the heading of the hydra. 

I get out of the way of a hydrakitten's bites, and Bleu Blinks and weaves away from the ones on her. Garreth shouts at the hydra, but the hydra shouts "My Humps," at Garreth and Bleu; she cringes in pain. Then there is some thrashing and an orcish-sounding grunt from the hydra's way, then some stuff in Aquan, then a glug. A couple more hydrakittens float into sight right after I cut off a couple more heads as well.

As is happening so often, I hear a pop, then some thrashing, and an orcish-sounding grunt. There is another pop before I hear "Sussudio" and then see Bleu Blinking away. However, she Blinks to a hydrakitten, which claws her, and she starts to look blue. I see some more hydrakitten heads drift from the hydra, and cut off two more. I also see a big sword float from that way. Thrognar rushes towards the sword and grabs it. The sword goes through water like air and shakes with power. Some more hydrakitten heads come into sight near it, and I kill the one nearest me and pull out a Major Healing potion to drink when I get a chance.

Without a break, I can hear "Who Let the Dogs Out?" and see Bleu wince. There's some thrashing before the ear assault of "We Built This City," "Mambo Number 5," and "Mandy," the last of which kills poor Bleu. I step past a flailing hydrakitten and can see Garreth and Polly pressing the hydra.

Sunday, May 1, 2022

Game log 23 January 2022, 6 February 2022, 6 March 2022, 3 April 2022, 1 May 2022: Big log two

Personae dramatis

Tulip, elf bard
Grignok, orc druid
Felcanis, elf cleric
Honsou, bowman

Quid occurrit

Angelista is weirded out by the manner of healing, so she walks off into the night. The night is otherwise uneventful. The next day, they make it to Káddrakos, after finding old caterwaul dung around midday, of which Grignok takes some.

Tulip has taken up a residence in the Winking Friar at Káddrakos. Honsou and Felcanis recognize her. Felcanis chats her up and asks her to come along, and she agrees. She mades 12 copper for the night, short change from the gnomes.

Honsou pickpockets the gnomes for 25 copper. A stooped gnome woman with wooden teeth comes up to him. "Hey, s-s-sonny, you look like my kind of boy." She leans over to his ear and whispers, "I know you have sticky fingers, dearie."

Honsou says, "Okay who doesn't?"

She says, "Who doesn't is right. Don't worry, your secret is s-s-safe with me."

Honsou asks, "Is this going to cost me?"

The woman laughs, and leads him to a booth. "S-s-s-s-sonny, I have a deal you might like. I have a few silver-coated spears that f-f-f-fell off a wagon a few weeks ago. You look like you might be the kind to want them. I think I can part with them for 100 copper each."

Honsou says, "I'll take a look at them first."

She shows off the array of spears. She has six. All the spears have a silver-plated point. One shaft has the word 'BRITNEY' carved into it. He can't get her to lower her price. The gnome woman sells him one of the spears, not the one marked "Britney." "Thank you, b-b-b-b-b-b-sonny."

The next morning they go back the way they came. It's generally clear today, a little bit warmer. Not far from the caterwaul shit, they spy a short person. He's a dwarf with no earlobes, and he scowls at them. "Stay away from my home! Especially you, orc! Watch it! I'm one of the Queen's Men!"

Tulip says, "I don't remember asking you where you work."

Grignok says, "You're a queen? I thought you were a Dwarf."

The dwarf says, "I'm no wet boy, orc!"

Grignok says, "Of course not, you're a dry dwarf. I'm the Casumaorc!"

Honsou tells everyone to calm down, but Grignok says he is calm, and that "NoWetBoy" is the upset one. He asks where the dwarf's home is, so that they can stay away, and the dwarf says that it's an old church to the south. Tulip says they'll steer clear of that. The dwarf says, "You do that, pointy-eared lembas muncher." This bothers Tulip greatly.

Grignok and the dwarf talk about theology. The dwarf says he worships Máhal, and that Grignok is "proof that Máhal has a sense of humor." Grignok says nobody is greater than the mother of the land, the Great Mork, and the dwarf says, "Mork can go back to Orson!" The dwarf storms off.

Honsou and Tulip choose to loot the dwarf's church while Grignok wants to teach him of the overlordship of the goddess Mork. So, Grignok turns into a panther and tracks the dwarf. The dward doesn't make much effort to hide his trail, so they follow him easily. Sure enough, he goes back to what looks like an old church. It looks like the church in Little House on the Prairie, only wrecked. There are a few broken windows. Tulip notices that the church is a no-mana zone, so her spells won't work. This bothers Tulip greatly.

The dwarf stands at the door. "What the hell are you all doing here? Go away, goat turds!" Honsou says they only want to see the church, but the dwarf says it's a wreck. Grignok slinks around to the back side as they talk. Honsou and Tulip ask to go inside, but the dwarf won't let them inside without paying him. Honsou asks how he wants them to pay him, and he shakes his head. "You're so simple that you couldn't sell a pie to a starving hobbit." He looks up. "Coin, how else?" After a few more words, he goes back inside and slams the door, then you hear him slamming something else. "Gah!"

Grignok jumps onto the roof and starts clawing it. Honsou climbs in through a broken window. Honsou can see him sit down on an old pew and sigh. "I so give up." Honsou creeps towards the door. Tulip keeps insulting the "half-shaved owl bear," and the dwarf mutters aloud, "Why is that tree-dweller still out there yelling at me?"

Tulip yells back, "Shut up, you dirt midget!"

Honsou opens the door, and the dwarf notices him, as the door isn't quiet. "Argh! Get out!" Grignok breaks through the roof, then tries to fall on the dwarf. He hears Grignok, then runs past Honsou and into the wild. "They're summoning pumas in my church!"

Tulip yells after him. "Yeah! Run away, you hairy brewery!"

Grignok runs around the church, knocking things over. Honsou searches, and finds seven silver pennies hidden in the lectern. He takes the money. Otherwise, there is just standard camping gear: kettle, wood axe, bedroll, that kind of stuff. Honsou takes that, too.

Grignok turns into an orc again. Honsou and Tulip talk about burning down the church. Felcanis isn't down with that, and neither is Grignok. The dwarf isn't far away, and yells out "No!" as he hears them ransack his home. "What the hell are you doing?" Honsou and Tulip heckle him some more as they tell him truthfully they're ransacking him, and the dwarf sobs. "Please stop! I'm sorry, I really am! How do you make money burning down my home?" Grignok poops on the steps to his church, then gets up, leaving an orc-sized green turd.

The dwarf rushes inside towards the lectern. "Please, I have four silver! I'll give it to you if you leave me alone!" Honsou shows the dwarf the coins, and he looks a little guilty and miffed as he sees the seven silver Honsou took. "Seems you found it." He goes inside, walks to the lectern, and looks. "Damn it!"

Honsou adds, "I also have your survival supplies."

The dwarf slams his open palm against the door frame. "Please, take my money, but leave my supplies!" Honsou asks if the dwarf has any more money, and the dwarf says, "That's it! I hunt pelts and bring them to town, and sometimes get a bounty. And I haven't gotten a bounty in awhile! You even took my bedroll!" Grignok asks him about the wood axe, and he says it's mostly for chopping up downed trees for firewood.

Grignok nods. "Hmm, that pleases Grignok. You are dumb, but wise. Why this place smell so funny?"

The dwarf realizes something. "Oh, I need to dump the honeypot." He goes and gets a big wooden bucket, then takes it outside. A minute or so later, he comes back. "Smell better now?" This doesn't sate Tulip, so he lets her take his bucket.

Grignok punches the dwarf in the arm. "We just picking with you, puny dwarf." Honsou and Tulip, however, still want to take the dwarf's stuff.

The dwarf sits on a broken pew and hangs his head down, sobbing. "I can't believe this. I have to turn to an orc for common sense!"

Grignok says, "Not all orcs are bad."

Tulip taunts, "Good, cry, you lumberfoot."

The dwarf wails, "I don't even know what that means!"

Grignok tells him, "It means your foot is made of wood. Or it's a weird Boy Scout rank." The dwarf throws him atop the stuff the murderhoboes don't take, and the murderhoboes take off.

A few hours later they see a wrecked hut with a wolf tree growing near it. The hut is little better than a thatched teepee, with the roof caved in.

Honsou pokes his head in. It's kinda moldy-smelling, and there's nothing much there.

They hear some buzzing in a hole under the roots of the tree. Tulip goes to check out the buzzing. Some swarms of wasps come out and sting her for several seconds as she runs. Grignok casts Windstorm to make the wasps fly elsewhere, and Felcanis casts Major Healing on her. "Don't do it again." 

As they get near evening, they start to see the dead wood and lack of animals that signals you're near Dībités Rock. Grignok can tell that nature is weak here. Past the trees they spot four men on horseback. Tulip looks at their banners. She thinks these riders are from the land of Dis Knee, and must have singing animals with them.

Honsou walks back by the mule. Grignok hides behind a tree. Felcanis casts Shield on Tulip. The riders move towards them. Honsou aims at the rear rider, Grignok starts casting Animate Plant, and Felcanis casts Armor on Tulip, then Sunbolt as the riders get nearer.

One rider rides up to Felcanis and misses, while another rider rides up to Tulip and misses. Honsou shoots a rider, but the arrow sticks in his mail and doesn't get through. Felcanis steps back and tosses Sunbolt at the rider, burning him. Tulip sings that the nearest rider is a douche, stunning him. She then casts Panic, making the two riders flee. When the other two come near, they bug out, too.

Felcanis casts Lend Energy to help Tulip. Honsou shoots a rider as they bolt.  Grignok finishes casting Animate Plant. "Come to me, servants of the forest!" The riders flee harder as they see the lumbering tree.

It's the evening so they camp for the night, an uneventful night. The next morning, they go into the dungeon, trekking down the tunnel out for an hour until they reach a room.

Grignok dons shiny battle armor. "It would be nice to have warrior woman here." He casts Partial Shapeshifting (Panther Paws); Felcanis casts Continual Light at torchlight level on Honsou's helmet. Grignok is no coward, but understands going first is hurtful.

Grignok checks out the passage. Ahead, there is a cliff that goes down about 10 feet. it has loads of handholds, but isn't mule-friendly. He heads back to group. "Hey, guys, come check out this cliff! It's far!"

Straight ahead Grignok sees a cavern wall. To the left, he sees a big spot with some kind of liquid, and what looks like a pond beyond this. To the right, he sees a cavern with a cliff there, too.

Honsou and Felcanis realize that the clerics led them through the area to the right. There is an empty metal trunk there that was there before. a rusty chain is linked to it, with the nearly-mummified corpse of a lizard of some kind.

They go left and see water. Near the edge of the water is a black glowing liquid in a shallow pit. Honsou jumps in while Tulip and Felcanis touch it, all get black goo on them. It does nothing, but Felcanis thinks this is some kind of alchemical goo. Some wizard was doing something with it eons ago and doesn't seem to have been finished.

Grignok goes up to the water and he casts Body of Slime. His armor falls to the ground and he turns into big green blob of goo, a grabasstic piece of amphibian shit. He jumps in the water and starts swimming.

He goes through the passage at the far end of the pool and into another pool. To the right there is a tunnel of some kind under the water. He swims through that passage, which goes for a bit, then into another cavern. He climbs out, there is a bridge here, and some old remnants of carts. If he pulls one, it will probably fall apart.

While this is going on, Felcanis notices a passage to HER right. Then she sees a big blob of slime walk out of it. Grignok ends his spell and says, "Honsou, bring me warrior armor!"

They go right and see some carts, a stream, some rocks going all the way to the ceiling and blocking the way, and a bridge across the stream. Not much is on the carts. There might have been some food or bags once, but now its dust. Once they get to the bridge, they see the passage on the other side once on it, as well as stairs going down on their bank.

They go athwart the bridge. Many bones of small rodents lie along the floor, as does the shed skin of a small snake. The follow the cavern, and after a bit it turns right, and starts being paved. There is a short flight of stairs down, ending in a door. 

The door is not trapped or locked, so Honsou opens it. The door opens into a room. A rough stone altar sits on its four round legs on a one-step dais. Standing to the left are three skeletons, with grey bones, and axes and shields. They start coming towards them.

Honsou steps and readies his bow. The skeletons move forward. Grignok moves backwards. Felcanis starts casting Turn Zombie. Tulip draws her rapier and steps.  Honsou pulls out an arrow, then moves. and the skeletons move forward. Felcanis keeps casting right behind Grignok. Tulip moves.

Honsou steps and shoots a skeleton, but the arrow gets in its shield. It tries to shield slam right back, but Honsou dodges. Another skeleton does the same, slamming down Honsou. One rushes towards Grignok, who grabs the skeleton. Felcanis casts Turn Zombie, and a skeleton flees. Tulip moves.

Honsou goes to kneeling. The skeleton in Grignok's grasp tries to break free but cannot. The other skeleton misses Grignok. Grignok keeps gripping the skeleton, and sees that its bones are made of stone. Felcanis and Tulip up.

Honsou pulls out his knife, rises, and stabs at the skeleton, but it blocks. Tulip stabs her rapier at it but can't get to the marrow of its stone bones. The skeleton in Grignok's grasp tries to break grapple again but fails, and the other skeleton misses Honsou. Grignok increases his grapple on the skeleton he holds. Felcanis casts Major Healing on Honsou. 

Honsou knifes the skeleton but it blocks again. Felcanis swings but it blocks her mace, and Tulip hooks her sword to its axe. The skeleton swings at Honsou but he parries. The skeleton in Grignok's grasp tries to wiggle free but fails. Grignok squeezes tighter on the skeleton in his hands.

Honsou stabs the skeleton but can't get through its bone. It unbinds his axe from Tulip's sword. She tries to hook her sword to its again, but cannot. Felcanis swings at it but it blocks her mace. The skeleton in Grignok's grasp fails to break free and stumbles. Grignok squeezes tighter on the skeleton.

Honsou stabs the skeleton but it parries. It tries to hit Felcanis but she parries. She smashes it, but it blocks Tulip trying to disarm it. The skeleton in Grignok's grasp cannot wiggle away from Grignok, but he can't grip it tighter.

Honsou disarms the skeleton and its axe flies near Tulip. It tries to shield bash Honsou but misses. Felcanis smashes it but cannot get through its bones. The skeleton in Grignok's grasp cannot get free, so he shoves it onto his claws and it splinters. 

Honsou and Tulip both try to de-shield the skeleton but fail. It slams its shield into Grignok cannot hurt him, so Grignok grabs it. Felcanis smashes it with her mace. Tulip tries to cut off its shield again but misses. Everyone starts piling onto it and after a few seconds, Grignok smashes it.

After they rest up, Honsou opens the door to the left. They see the skeleton Felcanis turned cowering in the corner to the right.

With the door open, they see a bend in the tunnel. To the right, there is a door. They see a cabinet at the bend ahead. Honsou checks out the cabinet, and sees that the cabinet is empty. There is a small box under the top of the cabinet that has a hole in it, with some wear around the hole. He thinks that this was once an acid trap, but someone triggered it. 

The hallway slants down and they walk around the bend, now walking parallel to the last hallway. Ahead, there is a crossroads, and to the left, before the crossroads, there is a hallway with stairs. The left hallway at the intersection ends in a door after a few feet.

They go to the door, and Honsou unlocks it. Beyond the door is a room with an old forge. Honsou spots some movement inside the forge, like little things wiggling. He sticks his hand in, and he feels a strange burrowing under his skin, with two holes on his forearm. Felcanis rushes to his side and sees that the holes are where two rot grubs had bit him. She grabs a pen knife from her first aid kit and cuts them out, then casts Major Healing on Honsou to heal the damage she did cutting them out.

They go down the hallway that was to the right when they reached the crossroads, and reach a room with a big table and benches alongside. Honsou checks for food, and no, there's the dust from bread, but even the mold has died. They go back to the crossroads and straight ahead from where they got to it. At the end of the hall, there is a long portcullis to the left, with wide gaps between the bars big enough for the seven hellshots behind it to move through.

Honsou readies his bow. Two hellshots try to slam Grignok but he steps away from one and parries the other with his hand. The others move towards the portcullis. Grignok starts casting Windstorm. Felcanis readies her mace. Tulip readies her rapier.

Honsou nocks an arrow and shoots it at a hellshot, but it bounces off the thick skin. One hellshot tries to stab Grignok with its spear, but he steps away. Another stabs Felcanis, and wounds her chest. A third comes from between the portcullis bars and slams into Honsou, while a fourth does the same to Tulip, but doesn't hit her hard enough to hurt. A fifth one tries to slam into Felcanis, but she dodges and it slams into the wall.

Grignok casts Windstorm, making a mini-tornado, and most of the hellshots fall down, other than the ones outside its winds and the one standing in the middle. Two of their spears go flying out of the tornado and hit the walls. Felcanis steps away. Tulip stabs one in the innards, but can't get through its skin, then steps back.

Honsou steps back and shoots at a hellshot nearby, but the arrow goes flying in the tornado. The hellshot in the eye of the storm stays put. Another tries to slam Honsou, but he steps away, while a third stabs Felcanis, nicking her. Grignok moves the tornado, nocking down two more hellshots, and one loses his spear, which flies over Honsou's head. Felcanis moves away. Tulip tries to stab a downed hellshot in the innards, but misses. Honsou shoots a standing hellshot in the guts with a bodkin arrow, and it gets through.

One hellshot stabs Grignok and nicks him. Another starts to stand up. The others are stuck in the tornado. Grignok moves the tornado, knocking down the last standing hellshots, and the others beat the snot out of the hellshots over the next few seconds, killing them.

Felcanis casts Stop Bleeding and Major Healing on herself. She casts Minor Healing on Honsou after a failure. 

They find nothing in the room behind the portcullis. They rest up, then go back past the crossroads and up the stairs.

An old workshop overlooks the stairs. There are some rotten saw horses, and an old workbench with a rusted saw on it. Honsou takes the saw. Ahead is a hallway that turns, as well as a door. Beyond the door is a privy with four dead bodies. 

Honsou finds a glass vial filled with brindled mint-green fluid on one of the bodies. Felcanis thinks this is a Major Healing Potion. She drops a couple of drops from the potion on the body, and it leaves a couple drops of green splotches with little faded bits of brown.

In the hall there is a slot running along the floor on the left side of the hall. It is 6 inches wide, 6 inches deep, and has a deeply rounded bottom. It runs the length of the hallway in this area. Down the hall, they see a hallway to the right, with a stairway going up in it. Ahead of them they see a couple of bunkbeds with the mattresses rotted away.

They go up the stairs to the right. At the top of the stairs, there is a door, and Honsou unlocks it. Beyond the door is an old room where folks kept weapons, and there are still rusty blades here. Honsou takes a big rusty knife.

On the wall to the right of where they came into the room is an opening to another room, with four alcoves—the one leading into this room, and three others. The iron frames of three bunkbeds in here, one in each alcove. They find nothing in the beds but Honsou sees that if he moves the bed on the far wall, something will happen. So Honsou moves the bed, and the wall slides.

Beyond the wall is a room with three cabinets ahead and to the right, and a way out to the left. Between the hoboes and any of this is a beast with many little legs and a ten-foot long segmented body. Eight writhing two-foot long tentacles come out of its head, right below its mandibles and toothy mouth. A stench of rotten meat is all over this beast.

The carrion crawler moves towards the group. Honsou gets out his bow. Grignok starts casting Lightning. Felcanis casts Sunbolt. Tulip holds her rapier before her.

Honsou shoots and his bodkin arrow gets in the innards of the carrion crawler. Grignok finishes casting Lightning. Felcanis tosses the Sunbolt at the crawler, but it flies past and bursts beyond it.

The carrion crawler's tentacles flail at Honsou, but do not land. Grignok moves around. Felcanis starts casting Sunbolt. Honsou pulls out his rusty knife and stabs, but misses.

The carrion crawler's again tentacles flail at Honsou, and again do not hit him. Grignok tosses Lightning at the crawler, burning it and stunning it. Felcanis finishes casting Sunbolt.

Honsou stabs at the crawler, and nicks it. It steps back. Grignok grapples the crawler. Felcanis lobs Sunbolt at the crawler, burning it. Tulip steps and stabs the crawler, nicking it.

Honsou stabs at the crawler, nicking it. Grignok keeps holding it tighter. Tulip tries to stab it, but can't get through its armor.

The carrion crawler's tentacles try to touch Honsou, but cannot. From there, Felcanis shield bashes it, Honsou and Tulip poke at it, and Grignok squeezes it. After a few seconds, Grignok rips its head off. He smears some of its guts on his cheek bones.

The room itself has a wrecked trophy case along the far wall to the right, with one trophy still in it as it is bolted to a plank. The trophy is a brass one of a man throwing a big ball from an underhand pose.

In the case is a small trunk as well. Honsou thinks taking or opening the trunk will trigger something. Grignok lifts the trunk, and falls seven yards into a pool of water. He summons an air elemental and it lifts him out, then shakes an airy finger at him.

Also in the trophy case is a small chest. In it are two bronze rings, a 3-kt iolite, a 4.5-kt ruby, and 25 copper farthings.

After some rest, they delve to the left and walk a few yards before the hallway turns towards the right. It then angles upwards, and they find themselves at the bottom of a well. Honsou looks around, and there are no coins, and no sunlight coming down.

Honsou can easily climb up the well; it isn't deep. At the top, it looks somewhat familiar. He sees they are underground, like a massive rock is covering a whole human settlement. Ahead and to the right is a big door. After a few minutes of looking around, he realizes this is the level right under the keep.

He wanders ahead and comes to a small house. He remembers the door here is heavy and locked, but cannot pick the lock so pours some acid onto it. As it burns, he goes to get the others. To bring the others up, Grignok summons an air elemental.

Once the acid has burned through the lock, Honsou opens the door. Inside the room, there is a woman in armor. She is stocky with a cleft chin and straight chestnut brown hair over her ears and her nose is broken and bloodied. The woman says, "Hoo are doo? My dame is Mēnébē." Grignok conjures a bit of wind to make his handsome orc hair flow. Mēnévē looks at him. "Wat da fung is dat orc? Dose fuggez bead me up and fugged dup my dose wen dey grabbed me!"

Grignok asks, "Grabbed you for what? I can get your nose fixed if ya like."

Mēnévē shrugs, "Beez da fugg owda me! I was dust passing drough da woods and saw da dead drees. Ow you gonna fix my fuggin dose?" Grignok asks Felcanis to heal Mēnévē's nose, but Felcanis says doesn't know the Restoration spell. "Fug id. Dere's nuddin here 'cept in da one doom. Don't go indo da one doom. My buddy Ádilos wen in dere an 'e poofed. Dere's a drunk in dere, but is a drap. You step in an poof you fuggin gone."

The gang goes into the next room, then opens the door to the right in that about which room Mēnévē told them. First Honsou steps in, and he disappears, then the others follow, though Mēnévē does not.

All of them show up before a marble altar shape of a box, with a big slab under it, sitting on the floor, with a wall on the other side. Honsou tries lifting the altar, but it's too heavy. After some chatter, Felcanis thinks the altar heals. She leads Bill up to it, and he vanishes. Once he does, Grignok lies down on the altar to save Bill, and also vanishes.

Grignok finds himself and Bill back in the room. Mēnévē stands on the other side of the threshold, and asks, "Wadda fug habben doo you?"

Grignok says, "Poofs, like you said."

Mēnévē asks, "How doo gebbak?"

Grignok says, "With more poofs. I don't know how it works, it just poofs and then you poof somewhere else."

Mēnévē asks, "Is Ádilos dere?"

Grignok asks, "What's Ádilos?"

Mēnévē says, "My fuggin buddy doo soo!"

Grignok says he didn't see anyone, and asks what he looks like. Mēnévē says that Átilos has a unibrow. Grignok says that she can come with and take a look for him with them. She dithers, then steps into the room and disappears.

Once she is gone, Grignok checks out the chest. He opens the chest; it's unlocked. Inside are 30 copper farthings, 5 silver pennies, and 3 gold pieces. Grignok stuffs them in the saddle bags, then walks out of the room with Bill, then back inside, and then he shows up again at the altar.

The floor has sand over it. There are footprints, some old ones, most recent are a few days old. The floor slants upwards to each side. They go up to the left, and they reach the same spot and there they see a bunch of dead bodies. Grignok nudges a body with a foot. "Looks like they are mushroom buffet now."

Mēnévē yells out, "Ádilos! Fug! I shoudda wen widdim." Grignok tells her that she would have ended like him had she done so.

They check the bodies. There are five bodies other than Átilos's. Átilos has battered heavy leather armor, a bow, and a warhammer, like Mēnévē, and she takes his gear. The other bodies each have cloth armor, a grapnel, a light cloak, basic lockpicks, a pistol crossbow, a smallsword. They also typically have some rope and other survival gear.

They loot the bodies, getting 145 copper off the dead thieves as well as their gear. As they loot, they hear tittering behind a door to the left. Honsou picks the cheap lock and opens the door. Behind the door are six hellshots.

He moves back and Mēnévē readies her warhammer. A hellshot slams Honsou and hurts him, but he stays up. Another tries to slam Felcanis, but she steps away. The others hold their spots. Grignok casts Windstorm. Felcanis readies her mace and Tulip readies her rapier. Tulip sings, "Red boy, rent boy, ha-ha, charade you are!" which stuns a hellshot. 

Honsou pulls out his knife and swings at a hellshot, but misses. Mēnévē steps and swings her warhammer at the stunned hellshot, greatly wounding it. The impaled hellshot stabs Honsou, hurting him. Another little guy steps and stabs at Felcanis and she steps away. A third slams her, wounding her a little, while a fourth rushes her with her spear but misses. The last two hold back.

Grignok moves Windstorm over three hellshots, all fall, one loses its spear. Felcanis and Honsou both step back. Tulip steps back and calls a hellshot a scruffy looking nerf-herder, which does nothing. Mēnévē pulls out her pick out of the hellshot, and it passes out. A hellshot tries to slam Mēnévē but she steps away.

Grignok grows his Windstorm, knocking down a hellshot. Felcanis whacks a downed hellshot. Tulip and Honsou both stab a hellshot but doesn't get through the tough skin. Grignok keeps up his spell, holds it. 

Four hellshots are in the whirlwind, one is out, and a fifth one is watching, not running. As such, the heroes have an easy time killing them off.

They go into the room, which was living space for servants, with three low beds. Felcanis casts Stop Bleeding on herself, and heals Honsou with Stop Bleeding and Major Healing as they rest.

They check the door to the right, and it's locked, so Honsou picks the lock. They walk down the hallway, and turn left.

They walk past a curtain, and Felcanis peeks behind the curtain, and she sees some movement, with the light shining past and lighting up what looks like fur. Felcanis backs up, but that won't help hide her now, as  behind the curtain are five giant rats.

Honsou pulls out his bow and shoots a giant rat, but it dodges. The rats rush forward. One nips at Mēnévē and another at Tulip, but both miss. Mēnévē steps back and swings her warhammer at a giant rat, and the pick goes in. Grignok casts Lightning. Felcanis steps and waits. Bill moves forward a few yards. Tulip steps and stabs the rat nearest her. Honsou shoots a nearby rat.

Two rats try to bite Mēnévē, and one wounds her. Another two rats rush to bite Tulip, but neither hurt her. The last rat misses Mēnévē, who pulls out her pick. Grignok lobs a lightning bolt at a rat near Tulip, burning but not killing it. Felcanis smacks a rat with her mace. Tulip steps back and pokes a rat, but can't hurt it. Honsou steps back, draws an arrow, and shoots a rat.

One of the rats falls from its wounds. Two rats step and try to bite Mēnévē, but miss. Another tries to grab her, but also misses. The last tries to bite Felcanis, but she steps back and gets her mace in the way. Mēnévē steps and swings at the most hurt rat in the fray, but misses. Grignok steps to the back and tries to cast Frostbite, but the spell fizzles. Felcanis smacks a rat with her mace. Tulip steps and stabs at a rat, but misses.

Honsou pulls out his knife and stabs a rat, which falls to the ground as he slashes it, hurt but not out. The rat tries to bite Honsou back, but can't get through his armor. Another tries to bite Tulip, but runs into the wall, hurting its teeth. A third tries to bite Mēnévē, but she steps away. The last bites Tulip, wounding her. Grignok casts Frostbite again, this time getting the spell off. Felcanis tries to smack a rat with her mace but misses. Tulip steps back warily. Bill edges forward. Honsou tries to swing at a rat, but his weapon turns in his hand.

One rat falls from its wounds. Another tries to bite Tulip, but she steps back. The third tries to do the same to Mēnévē, who also steps back. The last rushes to bite Tulip, but misses Mēnévē readies her weapon. Grignok grabs a rat's head from behind, making its brain freeze from Frostbite, killing it. Felcanis smashes the downed rat to the back of the head. Tulip steps back and tries to stab the rat, but misses. Honsou rushes to stab a rat, and knocks it down.

The one standing rat starts to run away. Mēnévē swings her pick into the downed rat. Grignok casts Lightning. Felcanis smashes the downed rat to the back of the head. Tulip turns, steps, and stabs, but can't hurt the rat. Honsou steps the downed rat in the innards. The last two rats drop from their wounds.

Mēnévē looks ill from the rat bite. Grignok looks at her, and says it's sewer rot and casts Cure Disease on her. Felcanis casts Major Healing on both Mēnévē and Tulip. They rest for 20 minutes before going into the next room.

They poke around, going up some stairs, when Felcanis and Honsou realize they've been through this part of the dungeon before. They go back down the stairs and down a short flight that stops at a wall. Honsou quickly understands that this is a secret door, and Felcanis backs up as he looks for a way to open the door. Honsou finds that he can push on the lower tiles of the brick wall and lift up the wall.

Beyond the door are a bunch of barrels and four big toads with sharp teeth. Honsou pulls out his bow. One toad rushes Grignok and tries to bite him, but he steps back. Another toad rushes Tulip and tries to bite her. She shoves her fist in the way, but it bites her body anyways. Mēnévē readies her warhammer. Grignok casts Lightning. Felcanis readies her mace and shield. Tulip steps out of the way. Honsou pulls out an arrow.

One toad tries to bite Honsou, but his armor stops the teeth. Two more toads try to rush and bite Felcanis, but neither one hurts her. Mēnévē tries to hit one of the toads by Felcanis, but misses. Grignok steps and zaps the toad by Honsou. Felcanis hits a toad with her mace. Tulip pulls out her rapier and tries to stab a toad, but misses. Honsou shoots a nearby toad, dropping it to the ground but not taking it out.

A toad bites Tulip before she can step away. Another toad tries to bite Mēnévē, but she steps away, her back now against "Bid da mood." The last tries to bite Honsou but misses. Mēnévē readies her warhammer. Grignok casts Lightning. Felcanis hits a toad with her mace. Tulip steps back, as does Bill. Honsou steps back and shoots a toad, but misses and instead hits Felcanis in the leg.

The toad on the ground starts to stand. Another bites Mēnévē, as does a third. The last bites Grignok from behind, but cannot get through his armor. Mēnévē steps, turns, and swings her warhammer at a toad. It still stands, but has her warhammer in it. Grignok steps back and lobs his lightning from behind at a toad, burning and stunning it. Felcanis hits a toad with her mace, killing it. Tulip pokes at a toad but misses. Bill will backs away. Honsou shoots a toad in its innards, dropping it but not killing it.

One toad hops back towards the room. Mēnévē tries to pull out her pick but cannot. Grignok kicks a toad in the head, dropping it. Felcanis steps behind the frog hopping into the room, dropping it. Tulip tries to stab the nearest toad in the innards, but cannot get past its breast bone. Honsou whips out his knife and stabs the toad in the head, killing it.

Grignok licks the toad and finds it tastes bad. Grignok bandages Felcanis. Felcanis casts Major Healing on Mēnévē and Tulip. They rest up, with Grignok casting Shapeshifting (Panther) on himself after a bad first casting and Felcanis casting Lend Energy to help get Grignok back strength.

Game log 7 November 2021, 21 November 2021, 5 December 2021, 19 December 2021: Big log one

Personae dramatis

Angelista, slayer
Grignok, orc druid
Felcanis, cleric
Honsou, bowman watched by the Town Watchdwarf

Quid occurrit

Grignok, a handsome orc, sees a campfire and goes near it. He starts handing leaves to a nearby tree, as if petting it. "You have a nice coat, very strong. You'll be handy."

Felcanis's Watchdog alerts him to the handsome incomer. She gets out her mace, and awakes the others. Honsou gets out his bow once awake.

Grignok sees the weapons. "No need for those. I'm just a traveler, admiring the strength of the trees." He steps back. "I am unarmed."

Honsou keeps his bow aimed at Grignok. Bill neighs.

Grignok hears the neigh. "What a fine beast. May I speak with the beast?"

Angelista nods. "You may speak with the donkey."

Grignok casts Beast Speech and comes up to Bill. "Greetings mighty beast. What is your name?" To everyone but Bill, this sounds like Grignok is neighing like a donkey.

Bill opens his eyes wide. "The elf says 'Bill.'" Again, this sounds like neighing.

Grignok asks, "Do they treat you well, Bill?"

Bill neighs back, "Yes, the elf does."

Honsou stares at the scene. "What's wrong with the new guy?" he asks Angelista.

Angelista smiles, gazing at Grignok's chisled body. "Nothing, absolutely nothing. He's … perfect."

Honsou shakes his head. "You're no help at all."

Grignok pats Bill's coat. Bill asks him, "Why do you talk? The elf doesn't talk to me."

Grignok says, "I am what the orcs call 'Casumaorc.' It means I am chosen to be the leader."

Bill asks, "Leader of the orc herd?"

Grignok says, "Yes, kind of."

Bill asks, "Where is the orc herd?"

Grignok overlooks that question. "Does anybody mistreat you?"

Bill neighs, "No, but the spear woman does not like me. The elf woman is my friend."

Grignok says, "The spear woman is strong like an orc. She has honor."

Bill asks, "What honor?"

Grignok says, "Honor in battle, Bill."

Bill says, "I don't like battle."

Grignok pats Bill. "I must go to the people. Bye for now, Bill." With that, Grignok dismisses his spell. He sits down by the fire, and turns to Angelista. "Nice fire you built. You should be nicer to Bill. A little kindness to your beast of burden goes a long way."

Angelista says, "Bill is just Bill. I am not nice or mean. I just am."

Grignok says, "Bill has been working hard to be support your warrior honor."

Angelista says, "My honor lies in killing monsters, not coddling the donkey. I leave that job to the cleric. She seems to do it well enough. Sometimes at the cost of our own lives."

Grignok says, "Well, don't be surprised if Bill balks at you. Just you know, the animals, the plants, they all know and can fight back." Bill cuddles up to Felcanis, really confused, and really tired.

Angelista says, "We are heading to Dībités Rock, if you wish to travel with us."

Grignok agrees to come along, and says, "Don't be alarmed." He draws symbols in the dirt and mumbles, casting Mystic Mist. Angelista says, "He summons fog. He must be a druid."

Indeed he is, though Angelista and Honsou soon find that he still snores like an orc, and cover their ears.

In the middle of the night, Felcanis's Watchdog goes off again. Saundīvós doesn't shine at night. Three big shapes walk up to the mist, then start puking. This is some nasty puke. It's the stuff an ogre couldn't keep down. A few fingers from various humanoids are in the vomit. After several seconds, the shapes, now clearly ogres, stop retching. "I no like here. We get more food other place!" The ogres walk off.

Angelista grabs her weapons and leaps to her feet. "They're gonna go find others to terrorize. They need to be hunted. There are three of them. We'll have to split them up. If there is a tribe nearby we can use their bodies to send that tribe a message."

As Grignok has no weapons, Angelista has Felcanis and him divert two ogres so she and Honsou can kill the third before killing the other two. "Let their blood feed the trees!" yells Grignok.

They can hear the ogres up ahead, but cannot see them through the trees. They sneak nearer and still cannot see them, but can hear their speech from beyond the nearest copse of trees.

Ogre 1: "You dwarf-puker."

Ogre 2: "You elf-hole."

Ogre 1: "You orc-snot."

Ogre 2: "Orc snot taste good!"

Ogre 3: "I like orc snot too!"

Ogre 2: "Orc snot taste good on boiled horse!"

Ogre 1: "When Kagarak serve elf, she always serve frozen elf. I like fresh elf!"

Ogre 2: "Frozen elf taste just as good as fresh elf! My wife make best frozen elf!"

Ogre 1: "No, frozen elf no taste as good as fresh elf!"

They seem to have stopped and are arguing.

Ogre 3: "Kagarak no put enough orc snot on frozen elf."

Ogre 2: "Kagarak is great cook!"

Angelista gives the signal for Honsou and Felcanis to silently move around the right. 

Ogre 1: "Look, all I say is that nobody make frozen elf as good as fresh elf. You can put lots of elf snot on them, they not as good. Orc snot too strong."

Grignok makes a moose sound. Angelista looks at him with disbelief.

Ogre 2: "That moose?"

Ogre 1: "No, that elk."

Ogre 2: "That moose!"

Ogre 1: "No, that elk!"

Ogre 3: "I think moose and elk are same!"

Ogre 2: "I hungry. We kill moose"—Ogre 1: "Elk!"—"MOOSE and then we bring it back and cook it. Elf blood make it taste better."

Ogre 2: "Come here, moose! We want to eat you! Hey, moose, come from behind tree!"

Ogre 1: "Elk no come if you call it moose!"

Ogre 3: "They same! They no care!"

Ogre 3 spots a light to his left, from Felcanis. "Thanks for light! Moose is hiding!"

Honsou throws a small rock into to the tree to the ogre's left. Felcanis steps, and suddenly the ogre near her realizes that an elf is holding the light. "Hey, elf there! I eat elf, you eat moose-elk!" He rushes towards her, and Felcanis casts Command and bids him to drop his maul. "Here maul, little elf-dinner!"

The ogres get nearer to Angelista.

Ogre 1: "Hey, you man, not moose!"

Ogre 2: "No, it woman! It no respond to 'man'!"

Honsou tries to distract the ogre by throwing another rock, but it doesn't see it. Angelista whips her javelin at the knee of one of the ogres but misses, then pulls out her sword. "Grignok get that second ogre off me"

Ogre 1: "Kill elf, then find elk!"

Ogre 2: "No it moose!"

Grignok starts to build up Lightning. Felcanis casts Command, telling the ogre to lay on the ground. He does, and tries to grab her legs but misses. Two ogres rush up to Angelista but miss. Honsou lobs the biggest rock he can find at the ogre near Felcanis, and it hits. It doesn't hurt him, but he does feel it. "Hey! I no like that!"

Grignok casts Lightning. Angelista swings at an ogre's knee but misses. Felcanis hits the ogre on the neck with her mace. The ogre grabs at her, she casts Command and bids, "Stop!" and the ogre does. Two ogres try to smash Angelista's skull, but miss. Honsou whips out his knife and rushes to stab the ogre's neck, but can't get through his skin.

Angelista swings at the ogre's knee, and he can't parry with his maul, so she cripples his leg, making him fall. Grignok moves and throws Lightning at an ogre, shocking him. Felcanis again hits the ogre on the windpipe with her mace. One ogre reaches for Honsou and another for Grignok, but neither can grab them. The third tries to bash Angelista's skull, but misses.

Honsou tries to stab an ogre in the eye, but misses. Angelista swings to the knee of the other ogre. He can't parry, so she cripples his leg, too. Grignok dashes ahead. Felcanis whacks the neck again, hitting the ogre's windpipe. He grabs Honsou. One ogre turns and tries to hit Angelista with his maul. She steps back but he still lands the blow. The other one on her tries to do the same, but she blocks him.

This time, when Honsou stabs the ogre, he nicks him. Grignok starts casting Animate Plant. Felcanis casts Command, and bids the ogre to let go of Honsou. He does, and tries to grab Felcanis, but misses. The ogres by Angelista crawl.

As the ogres are nearing Honsou, he gets out of the reach of the ogre. Angelista starts to dash around the trees. Felcanis hits the ogre in the windpipe once again. He tries to romance Felcanis with a grab, but she steps away.

Honsou gets out his bow and an arrow and starts aiming. Angelista keeps moving around the trees. Felcanis swings for the skull of the ogre, but misses. He tries to grab her again, but she bids him to stop with Command. The other ogres crawl forward.

Being on the ground helps the ogres, as Honsou steps, shoots, and misses an ogre. Angelista moves. Felcanis again misses the ogre's skull, and he again tries to grab her, and she again casts Command to tell him otherwise.

Honsou draws a bodkin arrow and shoots an ogre in the innards, dropping him. Grignok steps and keeps concentrating on his spell. Felcanis casts Stop Bleeding on Angelista. The ogres keep crawling.
Grignok steps and keeps concentrating on his spell, and Honsou moves, too. Felcanis casts Major Healing on Angelista.

Angelista rushes and swings at the arm of the nearest ogre, but misses, while Honsou only rushes. Grignok steps and concentrates on his spell. Felcanis rushes to join the fray. One ogre passes out as he tries to turn to whack Angelista. The other kneels, facing Angelista as he does.

Angelista says, "You three talked about how you eat others. Imagine what it would be like if we ate you!"

The ogre says back, "We taste good!"

Honsou pulls out an arrow and aims. Angelista rushes towards an ogre and swings but misses. Grignok stops casting his spell and rushes to join the fray. Felcanis rushes towards an ogre and swings but misses. An ogre swings for Felcanis. However, she casts Command, and he freezes. Angelista lines up a stab to the ogre's innards. It cannot swat away her sword so she hits, but he still is awake.

Grignok casts Frostbite on an ogre, but his body stays warm. Felcanis moves away. The ogre swats Angelista with his maul, dropping her.

Honsou lets the bodkin fly at the ogre, but the arrow doesn't hurt him much. Grignok casts Lightning. The ogre stands and steps forward.

Honsou pulls out an arrow and aims. Grignok throws Lightning at the ogre, shocking him. The ogre steps and swings at Honsou, who steps away.

His aim steady, Honsou lets the bodkin fly at the ogre and hits, but the ogre stays standing. Grignok casts Lightning again. Felcanis moves again.

Grignok throws Lightning once more at the ogre, killing him, as Honsou gets out another arrow.

Felcanis heals Angelista the next day. 

They go back to town. The town guards eye Grignok warily, but let him through. Once in town, Felcanis bathes for some reason. The street is usual midday busy. Nobody is paying much heed to them.

A draft horse neighs at Angelista, then steps up to her. After smiling and petting the horse, the horse nuzzles her. She looks around, but cannot find the owner. She smiles. "I wish I could afford you, boy, but I can't. I wonder where your owner is." He keeps nuzzling her, and she turns to Grignok. "Grignok, can you ask the horse where is is owner? And tell him I think he is quite lovely."

Grignok scratches his head. "What makes you think I can talk to animals?"

Angelista says, "You talked to the donkey last night."

Grignok says, "I did? That wasn't a dream? You sure you didn't dream that?"

Angelista rolls her eyes. "No, I did not dream you neighing and braying at my ass last night. Can you find the steeds owner or no?"

Grignok pets the horse and casts Beast Speech. "Where you from, fine stallion?"

The horse says, "From here."

Grignok asks the horse, "Who's your master?"

The horse says, "The woman."

Grignok tells the horse to lead him to her, and the horse pushes his nuzzle into Angelista.  Grignok looks at Angelista and dismisses his spell. "Well, mistress, looks like you are the master of this horse. Treat him well."

Angelista says, "I cannot. You know the penalty for horse stealing?"

Grignok says, "Well, it said you were it's master."

Angelista says, "What it said and what its owner says will be of contention."

Grignok asks, "What is horse stealing?"

Angelista says, "When one steals a horse, of course."

Honsou adds, "That's my job."

Angelista smiles. "Honsou, you stay out of this"

Folks pass by them, looking at them with disdain. Others go in and out of the church, taking no heed of them. But most ignore them or say, "No, not mine, go pick mushrooms, rag!"

After some chatter, Grignok wonders who leads the town, and suggests that he or she might have lost the horse. Angelista knows that the town leader is the Ážanos (Burgomaster), so they lead the horse away and go to the Ážanos's house, which isn't far. It is a luxurious house made of wood and in a nice ward.

Angelista asks to speak to the Ážanos. The maid says he's not there. Angelista asks whether they're missing any horses. The maid looks around, and says no, they're not missing any horses, and certainly not any bred for the farm like that one. Angelista says, "Fair enough," and they leave.

Next, they look for a Town Watchman, and find one, albeit an old and wiry man. "Eh? What you got there, lady? An orc?"

Angelista says, "Excuse me, sir, I found this horse wandering the square but I have no idea who owns him. Do you by chance know who he can be returned to?"

The Watchman cleans out his ear. "Eh, we can figure this all out. Now, missy, this horse isn't yours?"

Grignok says, "I mean I never seen someone try to give away a horse that belongs to them so badly."

Angelista sighs. "You are in front of the guard. Please let me talk." She turns to the guard. "Yes, sir, I found him just wandering the square."

The Watchman asks, "Oh? Right here?"

Angelista says, "Over by the church."

Grignok butts in, "She the master of this horse. He said so."

The Watchman is confused. "Missy, why does your orc keep saying you're the owner, and who said you're the owner?"

Grignok clears it up. "The horse says she's the master."

Angelista groans. "Grignok, stop arguing and contradicting me and stop waving your hair around like that."

Grignok says, "Hey, warrior woman, I am not contradicting you. You are contradicting the horse!"

Angelista sighs. "The horse doesn't understand the law and clearly neither do you." She turns to the Watchman. "Please ignore him. The horse is NOT mine. I found it wandering by the church. The orc is a druid who talks to animals."

The old Watchman stares at Grignok, then turns back to Angelista. "Now, the orcs are beasts and so they can talk to other beasts. I've never heard of a horse lying, but then I've never heard of a horse telling the truth, either. I know those pesky orcs lie. You really need to whip your orc. But have you checked in the church?" Angelista says she has not but will do so. The Watchman nods. "Don't mention it. You should put a collar on your orc and a chain leash. You don't want those orcs wandering around town."

Angelista tells Grignok to be careful of what he says around the Watch. She says Grignok contradicts her, while Grignok says Angelista contradicts the horse. Honsou starts looking for things to steal, so Angelista tells Honsou and Grignok to stay together while she goes into the church. 

While Grignok and Honsou talk about which one can hit the nearest sign with a pebble or an arrow,  Angelista goes to the nearest cleric, and one acolyte smiles at her. "Good day, child, how may I help you? Care to make a donation to the god of light?"

Angelista shakes her head. "I cannot spare any coin at this time but I need some assistance. I found a horse just wandering outside the church. I was wondering if you might know who it belongs to."

After Angelista takes the acolyte outside and shows him the horse, he says, "Why, yes, I think know the owner. She came in from the farmlands and is looking for a blessing." She takes Angelista back inside to a woman who looks a bit like Angelista, but she's shorter, her hair is up in a bad Mohawk, and she's in peasant garb.

The woman looks up. "What do you all want?"

Angelista leads the woman to the way in and points outside. "Excuse me, madame, is this your horse?"

The woman smirks at Angelista. "No, my name is not Madame." She looks outside. "Yeah, that's my horse. Why do you ask?"

Angelista says, "I found him just wandering around outside the church he is quite the fine steed. I do not have the coin to purchase him as much as I wish I could. I am returning him to you."

The woman asks, "Oh, yeah, I brought him with me. He's gonna carry the supplies. What are you doing with him?"

Angelista says, "He was just wandering around so I decided to see if I could get him back to his rightful owner. My code forbids me just taking him."

The woman sneers at Angelista. "Blimey, rag, the law says you can't just take him, too!"

Angelista says, "I didn't. You just let him wander. And watch your mouth.

The woman scoffs. "Yeah, well, I couldn't bring him into church with me."

Angelista raises an eyebrow. "So you didn't even tie him? Are you that stupid?"

Apparently she is. "No, I didn't."

Angelista sighs. "Here is your horse back. Go pick some mushrooms." She walks away.

The two women call each other names—the peasant woman calls Angelista a "rag" and Angelista calls the peasant woman a "whore," leads the peasant woman to say that a certain time didn't count—then go their own ways. Angelista leads Grignok to the town gates, trying to make him understand the ways of the townsfolk, while the peasant woman takes her horse and walks towards the market towards the south. "Dumb rag," she mutters. "Imagine looking like her!"

Felcanis finishes her bath, and steps out of her church. She sees Angelista and Grignok arguing, Honsou eyeing a far-off horse with bad intent (as usual), and Bill gnawing on the grass.

They set forth then camp. Night falls, nothing happens. They then walk to Káddrakos, but the gnomes won't let Grignok inside. there is a tavern in the village, the Winking Friar. Felcanis, Honsou, and Bill can stay the night there. Felcanis buys a week's worth of rations.

The Winking Friar is busy tonight. A short, old elf missing his right hand asks Honsou about guarding him as he takes a trip to Ōrrípon in the north, looking for oil, but when he goes off to tell the others, Grignok tells him that Ōrrípon is well to the north and would take weeks to reach, and is surrounded by mountains, and the old elf says he doesn't have the money to cover for the whole group.

Nothing odd happens the next day as they walk through the woods. The day after that they get near Dībités Rock. As they get near, they spot six men wearing the livery of Dībités Rock hanging out behind some trees. As they do not seem to see the heroes, the heroes get ready. Felcanis casts Silence on area with the heroes. Angelista pulls out her javelin and shield. Grignok sneaks then casts Animate Plant on a tree.

The tree moves forward. The guards easily spot a big walking tree. They shout in amazement, then pull out their bows. Honsou steps and shoots, the bandit falls prone. The others move around the tree. The bandits load their arrows.

Honsou whips out an arrow and aims. Angelista and Grignok move through the silence. The tree slams a bandit, and its branch misses another. The fallen bandit rolls away, while the other five fire arrows at the tree. They hit it, but they can't do enough damage to get through the bark, so they drop their bows.
Honsou steps and shoots a bandit, but misses. The tree tries to grab a bandit, but he gets out of the way. The bandits start turning to run. Honsou whips out an arrow and shoots but misses, while the others move nearer the bandits. The tree grabs two bandits. They can't wiggle out, and one hurts himself twisting onto the tree's branch.

Running as fast as they can, Dead Tree Man lives again!

The heroes take down one more bandit—Grignok tossing a Lightning spell—while the last two flee.

They rest up after dropping the dire boar, and Felcanis casts Major Healing on Angelista. After they rest, Grignok casts Shapshifting to turn into a black panther and start sniffing around the last tracks of the sow. As the sow smells like a pig, he finds the trail easily, and follows it to a clearing. There, they see the weresow as well as four of the big boars, but don't see anything special about the boars. The sow goes into a hole.

Grignok tries to hide in the brush and Honsou aims at a boar as the boars rush towards them. Angelista sheathes her silver-coated sword and then draws the magical broadsword. "We must kill them  quickly before the lycan gets away!" Felcanis casts Armor on Angelista to help her do so.

A boar rushes at Angelista and she cannot block the blow, so it gores her. The next boar tries the same but misses. One boar gets near Angelista and tries to hit, but she parries, and the trees bottleneck the other one away from the gang. Angelista swings for the neck, but the boar dodges. Felcanis casts Shield on Angelista. Grignok claws a boar, and Honsou takes down a boar the same with a shot to the eye.

One of the boars steps and gores Honsou, and another tries to gore Angelista but she blocks his tusks. The last one runs around a tree. Angelista misses whacking a boar, while Grignok keeps clawing at one. Honsou steps back and keeps aiming at a boar, which gores him, knocking him out.

The boar with a blind side to Grignok turns around and takes a wild swing at him, but misses, as do the other two on Angelista and Felcanis. Angelista rams her sword up the boar by Grignok poop chute to get to his innards! She may be a woman, but she slides it in there. Grignok claws that boar, and another one misses him. A third boar misses Felcanis as she steps back. The boar by Grignok turns and tries to gore Grignok but misses.

Angelista moves and misses a boar. Felcanis gets Bill to run. Grignok tries to rush over and hit the boar by Angelista but misses. A boar runs over Honsou and gores Angelista, who doesn't parry. Another nearby nicks her. Angelista steps and stabs at the innards of a boar from its side, but misses.

Felcanis runs to Honsou, and Bill keeps moving. Grignok claws at a boar. A boar tries to bite Felcanis but misses. Another boar tries to gore Angelista, and she blocks his tusk but passes out from her wounds. Felcanis runs away.

A boar spins around and tries to ram his tusks into Grignok but misses, as does one trying to rush at him. The third boar starts munching on Angelista as Felcanis gets away.

Grignok nuzzles Angelista in the leg, but she doesn't respond. A boar misses Grignok and loses his balance. Another one misses, while a third bites on Angelista. Grignok grapples a boar, and gets out of the way of another's bite. Felcanis slips between the trees and tries to pull but Honsou out of the way but cannot.

Grignok pulls Angelista by the leg with his bite, and drops her at Felcanis's feet. Grignok returns to crime scene to see if Honsou is still there. He scoops him up in his panther mouth, and runs off.

Grignok turns back into an orc and casts Mystic Mist. Felcanis comes back with Bill, and heals up Angelista and Honsou. Grignok sets up camp and Felcanis casts Watchdog.

That night, two boars show up, a normal-sized one and one of the big ones. The mist scares and stuns the big one but not the small one. The small  one sniffs around, but doesn't go inside the mist.

The next morning, Felcanis casts Major Healing and Minor Healing on Angelista. Grignok prays and learns a new spell, Heal Plants. He says, "Warrior woman, I can heal your wounds, but you got to trust me." Grignok casts Plant Form Other then Heal Plant on Angelista, healing her before he dismisses Plant Form Other.

Monday, April 11, 2022

Castle Whiterock 11 April 2022: Sushi!

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior
Stonemaul, half-orc holy warrior

What they did

My eyes bug out when I see them come. "First I hear talking sharks and now Thrognar and Stonemaul show up?" But I touch them, and they're real, so either I did mushrooms that I didn't realize I did or they're here, down in the dungeon with us, thanks to Justicia's Grace. Bleu casts Water Breathing and Swim on them. Stonemaul heals Bleu, and we're all good.

Garreth points at me, then past the plants. So, I pull Logan away from eating the pike (Garreth shares some sushi with the rest of us before Logan eats it all), put on my invisibility ring, then start down the passage. After going a little ways, I see that seven tiny, almost invisible young ladies with fishy hands and watery hair are aiming tiny crossbows at me. I grab Logan by the scruff and start backing up. One yells at me in Aquan, "Stop, intruder!" They keep pace with me stepping back.

I hold up my hands. "Hey, I'm not trying to cause trouble, ladies!"

The nixie yells back, "Stop or we shoot! Why are you Invisible if you'er not up to no good?"

I pull off my invisibility ring. "I wear it to avoid trouble."

One nixie yells out, "The Princess's ring!"

The lead nixie says, "Speak! How did you get that?"

I look around. "We helped a merfolk escape a giant crawfish and he gave it to us! I can return it to her, if I see her!"

The lead nixie says, "Princess Nemoura is a NIXIE! A Female Nixie!"

Another nixie says, "She said it was a big green ugly guy."

I grin. "Yeah, he wasn't as sexy as I. Neither was the crawfish."

I ask and find out that Nemoura is too small for any trysts, and Garreth and Thrognar wander up to us. After the nixies first say Garreth is an iron golem, Thrognar takes off his helmet, and one recognizes him as Garreth. I ask, "How do you know Garreth?" Garreth blinks then nods and points at himself, and takes off his helmet. I gesture to Garreth that the pixies somehow know him.

One pixie says, "The mighty yet ugly green warrior Garreth saved Princess Nemoura from the giant crayfish. In honor of this we will not kill and eat you."

I'm not going to take my best mate being called ugly like this. "Hey, he's pretty studly for a half-orc, you know? He's just loaning me the ring and all."

One of the pixies gushes, "Ooh, he is kinda studly in a huge sort of way, maybe I should Charm him and take him home." Garreth can't understand them, so he keeps eating his sushi.

I hastily tell them, "Oh, ah, he has friends back in town who need to see him. So, how is Princess Nemoura doing, anyways?"

The pixie says, "She and Princess Caendril are over in our base," and points behind her.

I ask, "Oh, how tall is Princess Caendril?"

The pixie says, "Really tall! Six-and-a-half inches!"

Another chimes in, "Even taller in heels"

I look down and think. "Uh, that's going to be awkward …"

The pixie says, "Of course, she would order you all killed. she doesn't like surface dwellers. Perhaps she would deign to acknowledge your right to existence if you are diplomatic and bring gifts, considering you rescued her sister and slew the dire crawfish."

Another adds, "Do not mention the incident with the trawler."

According to the nixies, Princess Caendril likes gold and silver and chocolate and wine. Garreth wanders back to get some sushi and cut it into nixie-sized meals, and one nixie ways, "HEY! The legendary Garreth sings, yes?" Garreth comes back and starts passing out sushi to everyone, including the nixies. They eat up the fish like tiny piranhas.

I say, "Yeah, he does."

The nixie says, "Maybe Garreth can sing, but not wearing armor. That is SO not court attire." Garreth smiles and munches along.

A nixie says, "OK, we have decided not to kill you. Bask in our generosity, if you want come to our base to seek audience with the princesses! BYE!" They swim off, vanishing into the water. Garreth waves at the little creatures.

I yell back, "Hey! Say hi to the princesses for us!" Then I pull Bleu aside and signal, "I'll hand the ring off to Garreth, and you can drop Breathe Water on him and cast it on me." After a near smack, she gets it on the second try. So, after a few seconds, I give Garreth the ring and Bleu casts Breath Water on me.

Garreth puts on the ring and swims towards where I first saw the nixies. I'm bored, so start hitting on Bleu, though it comes off as nothing but "Glug glug, gluggity glug glug blub blub."

I clearly can hear a groan from Garreth: "Gluggggggggg." Trouble.

Castle Whiterock 4 April 2022: Psycho sharks (dum-dum, dum-dum)

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

What they did

Back in Cillamar, Stonemaul refreshes my Bless with a lecture about going Super Saiyan and killing all the lacedons rightly. Blah, blah, blah. I also make sure to buy a Greater Healing Potion to have in my belt for mid-fight use, have Shatterproof cast on my knife, and do nothing as Garreth trains.

And of course, we both drink.

Anyways, after a week, we go back to Castle Whiterock, and make it to the same spot: a bleak corner of a courtyard with the crumbling wreck of a stone wall. Garreth gestures beyond where those lacedons were, and we see some stairs. I point to the stairs and crouch towards Logan. "Do you smell whiskey, boy?" Garreth bubbles something at me, then peers down the stairs.

We instead go the other way, and see the wreck of a big while wall that once went around this courtyard. We make it to a field of tall plants. Polly makes some weird moves with pointing below her belly button, some wiggling of her hand, some frightened looks, and some chomping … ah, that's right! The old wizard guy wants these plants, and they have acid bladders and want to eat us. Logan growls at them, and they wave their fronds at him. Garreth pulls out Scalemar thinks. After a few seconds, he points to the plants, and starts to zoom.

Logan bites at a plant twice, and pulls away two fronds as the others miss him. I grab my knife and sai, and start towards the plants. Garreth drops his sword and pulls out his knife, and buzzsaws the plant apart in a hail of foliage. Logan pulls off two more fronds and spits them out, ending its threat.

I swim nearer the plants, and spot a large pike eyeing Garreth hungrily. I point to it as ten fronds feebly swat at Garreth. As Garreth charges a plant, the pike rushes at Garreth, catching him in its maw. He misses it with his knife, but screams at it, and the bubbly sound stuns it. Logan bites off another frond as the other fronds miss him, while I swim a little forward and give the pike two slashes. Both Polly and I get out of the way of some fronds while Polly chops up a plant. Garreth slips out of the pike's jaw then cuts it up, felling it. Logan and Polly keep making a salad while easily getting out of the way of the fronds.

I catch Bleu spinning and burbling as she casts a spell, looking at something behind her. I turn around and spot the outline of five sharks in the water and … I can hear them talk in Aquan, and understand! They find Bleu's Magery to be tasty and me to be bland. I yell to Bleu that the sharks are coming for her. Three of them bite at her and one hits, while the other two shoot lightning bolts at me and miss.

Garreth swims towards the sharks, leaving Logan and Polly to finish off the plants. He makes it to one and slashes one before yelling at it to stun it. He gives it one last slash and it goes belly up. I get to another shark and stab at it, making it go belly up as well. The other sharks keep trying to eat Bleu, but Garreth parries them, letting him and me easily turn the sharks into sushi.

Monday, March 14, 2022

Castle Whiterock 31 January 2022: Sick, sick, I'll tell you!

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

What happened

People in town are excited about the treasure. Ixnay's egg is getting bigger and even more glowing. I rub the egg.

Anyways, onto the dungeon. We fly to the water level, then Bleu casts water spells instead of Flight. Then, we have her Apportate the rubble in the right passage. Garreth helps her out, but the rubble is too rubblesome for me and Polly, so I tell her tales of my town hijinks. This keeps her from wandering off.

Once the tunnel is clear, we go down it. The tunnel ends in a dead end, so we think there's a secret door, and behold, there is. I force it open, and find a narrow rough-hewn tunnel that climbs up to a natural cavern about 20 feet long and barely 10 feet wide. Along the west wall are two arrow slits, choked with a carpet of algae, its long hair-like filaments waving from a soft water flow. The rest of this chamber looks empty.

I check out the slits, and beyond there is an old graveyard covered in water. Nearby is the crumbling wreck of a stone wall, with spots as high as six feet. The ground is a fine layer of silt, and the water itself tastes bad. Flat stones poke through the mud in rows. Metal shines off the bottom in many spots.

The others catch up, and I slip through the arrow slit. Beyond I see that this graveyard is a part of a big courtyard. Garreth can't get through, so he starts chopping the stone. I pick up a coin to show the others, and suddenly the ground bursts open. Awful rotting bodies pop out, and come at me.

I swing at them, but many come at me, and I lose my knife in the fray. I swim towards the arrow slit, slowed from my wounds, where I see Logan biting at the lacedons, and Garreth has made it through and started taking swings. The lacedons are grabbing me, holding me down. I wiggle out of one, but another grabs me again.

I'm in it, deep.

All of the sudden, the lacedons near me stand, stunned. I see Bleu through the widened arrow slit, having just cast Mass Daze. As I try to get out, Polly tries to get through, and we get stuck in the arrow slit together. Meanwhile, Garreth and Logan keep chomping away at the dazed lacedons, with Logan taking out an eye. Garreth cuts up the nearest lacedons with my old knife.

Bleu casts Great Haste on Polly, while I get out a Major Healing Potion and drink it in a swift move. Polly slips past me, and joins Garreth and Logan as they cut up the dazed lacedons. Indeed, Polly is even more deadly than my drinking buddies, though Garreth ends them with a few easy cuts after a body blow, then chops off the skullcaps of three of them.

I feebly point Garreth at the coins, who gathers up many over the next hour. I don't feel all that well, with a fever and stiff joints. I puke. Garreth drags me off, while Logan pukes in solidarity. Garreth brings me outside, and starts treating me for ghoul fever, sticking me with needles. The needles don't feel good, but I do feel better afterwards.

Monday, January 31, 2022

Castle Whiterock log 19 January 2022: Fools rush in, and so does water

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

What happened

We heal up, and Hugin commiserates with Polly about missing limbs, but hers regenerate. And so back to Castle Whiterock. Logan looks menacingly for the last bug as he goes back into the room. He doesn't see it, and scowls, angry.

The room is mostly free of dead bodies, so I swim up to check out the light coming from above. I  find murky scum and beyond it a span of air of about three feet or so between the surface and the ceiling. Floating in midair, radiating brightly as if full strength Continual Light, are four two-foot-long. They give off no heat, only light, and I prod one with a sai.
Nothing happens.

Polly swims up. "Hey, that glowing thing is magic, Zaber."

Garreth blinks at Polly. "Ya don't say?"

Polly says, "Well, it coulda been alchemical or something like your glow vial."

I prod it again. "Seems odd that someone would be lighting this room."

Polly says, "The light feeds the algae and scum to make oxygen for the bugs!"

Garreth chuckles, "So someone placed them there to keep the bugs healthy and present? Someone was feeding the bugs. Those were someone's guard dogs. We may have offended that someone."

I bring Logan up to the air pocket. "See if you can sniff out the bugs, boy!"

Polly asks, "Are they really dogs, like ant kittens?"

Not this again. "We're not doing this nature crap this time! They're someone's killer bugs and Logan will kill any still left!" Polly looks somewhat concerned by this line of reasoning, so I go on. "Logan is nature. His side is nature. Be on his side and you can't go wrong!"

We swim down and go to the door. Something doesn't seem right, so I beckon Bleu, then check the door for traps. I pick a little at the plaster, and find that the door has a compressed air bladder behind it. Opening the door without first separating this, especially by shattering it, will be explosive and fragmentary fun times. So time to turning off the air bladder. After a minute or so, I can hear the bladder split away. I crack the cement, and lift the bar on the other side, opening the door.

Beyond is a small room, about 15-by-15, and it has nothing but a stone door on the far corner. In the middle of the ceiling about 15 feet off the floor is a sealed metal trapdoor about 3 feet square. Its metal surface is gouged and scratched. Hanging from the trapdoor’s handle is a small net filled with several large rotten fish carcasses. Water from the bug room sloshes into here as I open the door, and after a minute or so, both rooms have water a few feet deep.

I grab the net down and give Logan the fish. On the right side of the room there is a door hidden in the wall, with lots of rubble. The door on the other side is a simple stone door, not watertight, as water is coming from around it.

Garreth hoists me up and I see the trap door is locked. I pick the lock, and try to open it. It does not move, much like the rods. Garreth sighs, sets me down, jumps up, and grabs the handle. The door stays put. He puts one foot on each side of it and focuses his chi. He stretches and strains, then it flies free, magic smoke puffing out. He falls down, and the door falls on him. He shoves off the 725 lb. door without much work. "See, proper application of strength and will can defeat magic!"

Polly says, "Whoa, it's like Bleak Theatre part two!"

Garreth gazes into the newly renovated the hole, and sees a ceiling up and above the hole. We climb up, and find a small room, maybe 10-by-10, with a ceiling only inches above Garreth's head. It is still dry, although the air is thick and damp. Many weapon heads, their wooden shafts rotted long ago, litter the floor. A stone chest, perhaps seven feet long, is pushed up against the left wall. Above the chest, sunken into the wall, is a pair of metal plates, each one foot wide and about three feet high. To the right of these plates is an iron lever, rusted in the upright position.

I check the plates. Something is odd about them. Garreth asks her, "Bleu, are those magical?"

Bleu says, "No, but the chest has a Lightning Rune upon it, though."

I sigh. "You could have said so earlier, you know. Can you get rid of it?" She casts Resist Lightning on me, and I open the trunk. The zap does nothing, and I look inside. Inside are three shiny suits of mail, a shiny buckler showing a a fancy leaf pattern, a shiny mace, and two shiny heavy throwing knives and a long thin box. These are magical, and can get into the details later.

After pushing on the plates and Polly shooting them, I pull on the lever. I can't unstick it, but Garreth pulls on the lever. It doesn't budge at first, but after a few tries the lever breaks free of its rust and moves! The plates pivot inwards revealing arrow slits, and beyond the arrow slits a great blasting torrent of water as they open into the Castle Whiterock Lake. Garreth slams it shut before the water can do more than spray us.

Monday, January 3, 2022

Castle Whiterock 20 December 2021: Still fishing

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

What they did

Mikal swims away, and the rest of us swim to the door. Unlike other rooms, this is well lit, with a plain stone floor and matching stone walls. The top five feet of the walls have thick mats of green algae; we cannot see the ceiling. A few rotten half-eaten fish carcasses aimlessly drift about the chamber.

Your presence in this chamber disturbs its occupants. Several man-sized beetles effortlessly glide through the water with powerful thrusts of paddle-like legs. Each vermin sports wicked mandibles and carries an air-bubble under its carapace.

Many man-sized beetles swim about. They twitch feelers towards Logan and me. They come near then, after a few seconds of wait, they strike. Garreth swims up and thrusts a knife at a beetle, but cannot hit. Polly rushes another with a shield, but goes past. I whack one twice with my knife, and Logan tries to open one for eating, but misses.

The beetle tries to bite me four times, strangely fast, and I step back. Another likewise misses biting Logan. The others swim nearer. Garreth hones his chi, and Polly cuts up a beetle so bad that it stops moving. Logan gets a mouthful of chitin and a torn muscle as he attacks a beetle, and I cut up the one near me.

The beetle by Logan tries to bite him four times, but he gets back. The beetle near me  gets five strikes and it hits my skull and … seems the gods or goddesses (hopefully the latter) smile on me and nothing happens. Garreth, now fast, comes up and slices up a beetle but doesn't fell it. Polly steps and takes down another with her blade. I hit another one with my knife, but it doesn't fall, so I step away. Logan guts another one, and gets its gooey innards.

The beetle nearest Garreth swats at him six times, crippling his leg and arm and knocking him out. Polly swims to help Garreth and hits it, but it doesn't fall. I try to stab it twice, but it moves like a water-bound ninja and I drop my knife. Logan likewise bites into one.

The one Logan just bit swims away from him; he smells it on the other side of the room. The beetle on Polly chomps seven times on her, taking off her left hand and right leg. Pity, as I always liked her legs. Bleu, at last doing something useful, casts Great Haste on herself. Polly pulls out her rapier and swings away at a beetle, who dodges. I grab my knife, step towards Garreth, and wave at Logan to swim to me.

The mad beetle chases Polly and chomps her eight times, but she gets away from its bite. Bleu casts Concussion into the middle of the room, but she only deafens herself. Polly tries to swing at the beetle, but misses, so I wave at Polly to please go. She doesn't get it, so I ready my knife and pull out Garreth's wineskin with my other hand.

Logan, for our last-ditch try, pounces on the beetle in the middle of the room by Polly. He rips it into itty bitty beetle bits, then glares at the beetle that fled it with bits of the other beetle dripping out of his mouth. That beetle hides, scared of Logan.

Logan and Bleu drag Garreth towards the way out, and I take Polly out, as well as her limbs. Then we go back to Cillamar.

Monday, December 20, 2021

Castle Whiterock 6 December 2021: Gone fishing

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Mikal, human holy warrior

What they did

I get Peduncle the Everburning Torch he wanted. He is happy for a few minutes, then he wants me to go. So, I tell the others that I spoke to Peduncle and that I'm pretty sure he won't want his buddies' magic items.

After some chatter, we go to Quintus and ask him for industrial-strength Roundup to kill the spellruin ivy. He says that for 1,000 copper farthings he can brew us one, but he needs bladderwort. Bladderwort is in the lake near Whiterock, and Garreth thinks he can identify it.

We go to the lake. I get the ring of Water Breathing from Seépravir. Polly readies long knife and shield since bow doesn't seem a good idea. Mikal casts Continual Light thrice. Then we go down a shaft into an eight-walled room. An archway shaped like a bird of prey with outstretched wings is in the middle on the west wall, leading to a 10-foot-wide hallway. There are iron bars set in the well shaft as a ladder.

I see clear oozes floating through the water, and they start floating towards us. Garreth steps and activates his Great Haste. Polly swims over next to me. I try to stab at an ooze, but miss twice. Mikal smacks an ooze with his mace. It flows aside. With a shocking burst of speed, the first ooze slams into Mikal. It grapples him and knocks him down and past Garreth. Another ooze hits Polly, grappling her and knocking her past me.

Garreth shouts kiai on the oozes, stunning them. He tries to push the ooze away from Mikal with a kick, but cannot. Likewise, Polly cannot cut up the ooze with her long knife. Logan and I both slash up the oozes on Polly, though its acid hurts Logan's claw. Mikal breaks free from the ooze. Garreth and Polly both also slash up the oozes, and I get in another couple of swats. Mikal also starts beating on an ooze, then it slams back into him. Logan swims towards the other one but does not swat.

Garreth, Polly, and I chop up the oozes, then we heal Mikal and Polly. Polly makes some cute-but-weird flailing with her hands as she reaches one end of the passage. I go down to check it out and find she has found a stone door. However it seems to be both barred on the other side, and cemented shut. I beckon Garreth, and he lines up his chi and whacks the door with Polly's orichalcum knife. The door gives way with splintering and cracking, shattering inwards the bar snapping and cement crumbling.

The next room is well lit, although we do not see the light source. The room has a plain stone floor and matching stone walls. The top five feet or so of the walls are covered with thick mats of green algae, though we cannot see the ceiling. A few rotten half-eaten fish carcasses aimlessly drift about the room.

Sunday, December 5, 2021

Castle Whiterock game log 22 November 2021: Is getting stoned good?

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior
Stonemaul, half-orc holy warrior
(Mikal, human holy warrior)

What happened

Garreth leans over to Bleu and whispers, "Should we be afraid?"

Bleu says, "That is an interesting philosophical question. Of what virtue is fear?" During her long spiel about fear, she says that the gorgons have a turn-to-stone breath weapon.

I fly back. "So it sounds like it's the bad kind of getting stoned."

Stonemaul asks, "Are they hostile, is there a reason to kill 'em?"

I shrug. "I'm sure they're hostile. Fluffy bunnies don't have stone breath."

Bleu nods. "Hostile yes, but not inherently evil, it is the hostility of the cat regarding a mouse."

Garreth says, "Tell ya what: if they let us pass without attacking, I'll let them live."

Stonemaul asks, "And is there a reason to kill 'em? They worth something?"

I fly over the gorgons, and see that the path from the room to the left of the fork looks like it goes around and meets up, but the gorgon room forks. I fly back and tell the others. "They are definitely in the way of exploring exits from that room. There might be another exit as well. I didn't peek to the left yet."

Bleu says, "They are of only animal intelligence"

Garreth asks Bleu, "Just wanting to know if they can be negotiated with."

I say, "I don't speak Stoned Bull, Garreth. Do you?"

Polly says, "You can totally negotiate with animals if Zaber doesn't pick fights with them."

I say, "The only time I'd get into fights with them is if they bogart the beer. Otherwise, as long as they share, I'm cool."

Garreth floats into the room with the gorgons. They look at Garreth as if he was tasty but do not strike right away.

We look to see how many rations we have, but Stonemaul pulls out a scroll of Create Food, and prays to know it. He then spends the next hour casting Create Food to turn big rocks into food for the gorgons. The gorgons eat the rocks, and look uninterested in eating Garreth now. "What do you know? They can be negotiated with."

Stonemaul says, "Well, that's refreshin'. First spell I've cast when working with you lot that was not Bless or healin'."

Polly says, "See, because Zaber didn't do it"

I say, "What's with the sudden lip, Polly?"

Polly says, "I still remember the ant queen incident."

I don't. "Was she an intended conquest? Sounds kinda MLIF-y, the aunt queen."

Polly says, "You told me she was a capitalist oppressor that was oppressing the smaller ants in a totally not-nature kind of way. And later we learned that the small small ones were kittens and they starved."

I say, "She was a capitalist oppressor! W-w-w-everyone else of the world, unite!"

We float over the gorgons and go left. Down there, the glowing red shaft opens into the ceiling of a stone crawlspace about thirty feet down. The area below is tight, only five feet high, and there is no light coming from beyond. The crawlspace is a lava seal, a niche carved into the rock about twenty feet above the floor. A narrow ledge, a flow ledge, runs along the wall on the right-hand side. It is only about six inches wide.

The cave structure down here is unlike anything we’ve seen before. The walls are smooth, almost as if someone worked by spell or skill, but the floor is pockmarked and littered with fused rubble. The flow ledge leads to a cramped crawlspace. There is a smooth, round shaft carved in the ceiling of the crawlspace, and it faintly glows by the light of red sigils carved onto its walls.

I check out the shaft, and find that it leads back to the Demonhold near where we fought Balfosa. "Looks like we try the next passage, and hope the bulls are still eating their rock-steaks." However, I catch a glimpse of bone or something in the rocks by Garreth's armor. "Garreth, what's that?" Garreth yanks it loose, and finds a skeleton in the rocks. It has a nice-looking longsword, a shiny long knife, a staff that radiates redly and warm, and an amulet, 10,000 worth of platinum, and a steel necklace showing a hen bowing before a man in a jesters cap.

Garreth tells Bleu to look at the sigils and the longsword. She says the sigils read, "Demons: Keep out," and that the longsword is meteoric.

I ask Bleu about something I heard at the Slumbering Drake years ago: "Hey, you know anything about the Fellowship of the Humbled Hen?" She doesn't, so we go back and see the gorgons are still eating.

We check another passage and find more spellruin ivy. Down another passage, there is cave with a big rent in the floor that lets heat come into it. At the rim of the crack is a huge vine of spellruin ivy coming up through it.

I fly back, and get Blah. "Now, Bore of Babble-On, what the hell is that?"

Bleu says, "It is spell ruin ivy. An impressive specimen."

I ask, "Is it special besides being big?"

Bleu says, "It would make flying through the hole challenging."

I ask, "That leads to the obvious question: how do we get rid of the ivy? We've had trouble here." She ignores me.

Garreth asks her about a herbicide, but Bleu says that since Roundup isn't magic, this isn't her problem. We talk about digging it up and hacking it to bits, and Bleu says, "It will regrow quickly, but more kudzu-quickly than wereplant-quickly."

Polly asks, "Want me to try a cutting arrow?" She fires. The vine takes a decent cut from the shot, and it resisted about as well as Garreth's armor would. It is of normal plant thickness, like an ivy, so a 1/8th of an inch or so for any given bit. It does look like someone can climb it; great handholds. Well, not for Logan; we think it would likely dispel him back to his bag, and regardless, it's not Adventurers with Disabilities Act compliant. It looks like it would wear out ordinary steel pretty quick, and shatterproof wouldn't help.

We choose to ask whether Quintus in town can come up with a plant killing poison that we can dump on it, though Polly thinks she can clear it with "enough arrows." Garreth gets a sample with his non-magical sword, and we check out the rest of the level. There is another spellruin ivy-clogged vent, and another vent that is so hot that our salamander amulets can't hold back the heat. I can see that that tunnel slopes downward suddenly, and ends in a pool of magma.

We go back to Cillamar. We send Bleu to do some research about the Fellowship of the Humbled Hen, and she finds that it was an adventuring party who came to Felltower 38 years ago. Its four members were gnome bard Peduncle Hillspek, arcane knight Sinj Spellsteel, Belda Hammerfell, and fighter Gabel Soufas. Gabel died in Whiterock, Belda retired to Cillamar, and and Sinj and Peduncle are unknown.

We do recall meeting a gnome named Peduncle in the grotto with the strange submarine gadget. Before going to Whiterock, he spent several years "resting" at Haverhold Asylum. So, I go looking for Peduncle in Cillamar. When I get to his home, he opens the door and says, "What? You're back? Why are you back? Are you here to see the beetles, don't hurt them."

I ask, "How did Gabel die?"

Peduncle says, "Gabel? Behir. That's why I decided to stay here, away from everyone, after Gabel died."

I then ask, "And what was Sinj's power item?"

He says, "He didn't have any great power item, just used his robes, he spent all his money on a meteoric sword which totally can't be a power item!"

I ask, "Anyone have a fireball-enhancing staff?"

Peduncle says, "Yeah, Sinj did."

I ask, "Do you know her fate?"

He says, "She wanted me to keep exploring Whiterock with her after Gabel died. No way, no how; I am staying here with my friends where it's quiet."

I nod. "Good move, it seems. She didn't make it out."

He hugs the apparatus. "My best friend"

I tell him, "We found her staff. A skeleton was clutching it."

He says, "Oh, hey, maybe I could use that to create fires down here and keep warm. Or I dunno, I guess maybe you can use it more. Hey, can you bring me some everburning torches to keep warm and cook with and you can keep the staff?"

I say, "Sure. Sorry about her."

Peduncle says, "Yeah, but you know, it was noisy. So many explosions. It's quiet here."

I pipe up one last question: "Where is the Asylum?"

Bad move. "South! AND I AM NOT GOING BACK! It's quiet here. I am not going there. It is not quiet there. It is quiet here."

I chuckle. "Sounds like a fun place. But why did you go there?"

Peduncle says, "I was supposed to rest! They did not appreciate my artistic genius, I was a great bard you know, the greatest, a real virtuoso. But it must be quiet, maybe you should go, I need it to be quiet, we've had a nice chat, chat later, how about you go now." And with that, he shoos me to the door.