The murderhoboes
Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
What they did
Garreth looks at the trees, and sees someone has watered them. He checks out the base of each tree for signs of whoever has watered them. He sees there are light footprints nearby, and not much dust. I look at the Decanter of Endless Water, and start watering the trees.
Garreth tells Bleu to cast See Invisible on all of us. Suddenly, we see a ghostly maid glaring at me. "You're watering the trees too much. I already watered them. Master Pelltiar will be unhappy."
Garreth asks, "When's the last time the master was home?"
The servant says, "Master Pelltiar is in his study. You should not disturb him." Garreth asks if Pelltiar is alive and I ask if he likes to party, and the servant says, "I do not go into his study and disturb him. Hmmm. What is alive? He does not like the halflings' idea of party. Or the clerics'. Or the knights'. Or the squires'. Or anyone's. He does not wish to have guests. That is why he has his Wizard's Respite inaccessible to the outside world." Garreth asks when she last saw him move, and the servant says that she has watered the trees hundreds of times since she last saw him move, and that he is in his study and is not to be bothered. "Is he angered about when I cleaned the easels?"
I yawn. "Bleu, she seems to be right up your alley." Bleu tells us about all about the Unseen Servants that cleaned the dorms at Wizard School.
Garreth asks the servant what her name is. The servant says that Pelltiar usually called her "Servant" or "Bothersome construct" or "What Are You Doing Don't Do That."
I ask Bothersome which way the study is. She points down, and says that I must not bother Pelltiar. I ignore her, and we go down to the study. The study is about as big as the room above it, with stone book cases on one side, almost in a maze, and all full of books. On the other side is a comfy chair with a man in gray robes lying on it, with an open book on his lap. The table next to him is full of dust and books, and a staff is propped up on the chair. We hear a woman's voice whisper, "Don’t forget to return the book on Ghetrian geography. Nim still has your favorite cookbook: Stirge: Not Just for Breakfast Anymore; 101 Additional Recipes."
Bothersome pulls out two swords. "Please leave the study so I may stop you."
I roll my eyes. "Stay out. And we have way worse than that." Bothersome hovers, looking bothered.
Garreth checks out Pelltiar. "The master can't be disturbed now. He's dead and beyond bothering."
He asks Bleu if there is a way to get Bothersome out of her compulsion. She thinks, and says, "She will only listen to orders from 'Master Pelltiar,' if you could have him give orders, or convince her that orders were from him somehow."
I wave to Bleu to cast Magic Mouth, but she shrugs and shakes her head: she doesn't know it. Garreth whispers to me to pretend I'm a cleric, and so I pull out a joint and light it up. "Incense."
Bothersome says, "He doesn't like fires in his study."
Ignoring Bothersome, I set my joint off to the side, then put my hands on Pelltiar's hands. "Oh, great wizard from beyond, hear you me my sacred cry. Ohm." I open my whiskeyskin and brings it up to Pelltiar's mouth. "Oh, Pelltiar, drink you now our sacred wine. Ohm!"
This bothers Bothersome. "You are disturbing the Master. I must not let you disturb the Master. I must not enter the study. I must not let you disturb the Master. I must not enter the …" I raise Pelltiar's hands as subtly as I can, trying to to make it look like Pelltiar is raising his hands on his own.
This amazes Bothersome. "You are moving, Master!"
I pour more whiskey in Pelltiar's mouth. "For now our congregant wishes to engage in the bacchanalia and drink the wine. Ohm!" I hold his hands, then throw my head back.
Bothersome asks Pelltiar, "May I enter the study to dispose of the intruders disturbing you, Master?"
I hold the hands of the corpse. "For Pelltiar speaks through me, servant of the god Bacchus." I throw back my head and make silly possession movements with my tongue and eyes. In a weak and creaky voice, I call out, "No!"
Bothersome stops hinting at trying to come inside. "Yes, Master Pelltiar. I will not enter the study."
I make even more tongue and eye movements. "Leave!"
Bothersome nods. "Yes, Master. Where shall I go?"
"Home!"
Bothersome says, "This is my home, Master."
Oh, yeah, that's a little problem. So, in a creaky voice, I say, "Elf gives home now." She looks at Polly, and I say, "Cookies!"
Polly asks Bothersome if she can make cookies, and Bothersome says, "Yes, Mistress."
Polly asks, "Can we keep her?"
I set down Pelltiar's hands. "She's no less boring than Bleu, so I don't see why not."
Polly says. "I think she needs a petter name than 'Bothersome Construct.' Hmm. 'Fluffy'?" I nod, and Polly turns to Bothersome. "OK, Bothersome, your new name is 'Fluffy.'"
Fluffy nods. "Yes, Mistress."
I grip Pelltiar's hands again. "I leave this world!" I make more silly tongue and eye movements before letting go, as Fluffy is now ignoring Pelltiar, and puts her swords back up. I wipe off the tip of my whiskeyskin, and offer some to Logan to get the taste of death off it. Once he has his fill, I take a swig and close Pelltiar's eyes.
Stonemaul walks in the room. "That was remarkably kind of everyone." With that, he gives Pelltiar the last rites. Garreth bids Bleu to look the room, and she finds a Robe of the Archmagi, an Amulet of Natural Armor 6, a Clay Golem manual, a Ring of Wizardry, a Ring of Sustenance, a Staff of Conjuration with 17 charges, a Tome of Understanding, the Book of Melosiran that teaches about the elven wizard Melosira and her rings, and the chair, which is a Chair of Comfort and Understanding.
Back on the tree level, I find a magical sapphire that Bleu says activates some magic item. I also find five Marvelous Pigments, and four amateur paintings: one of Castle Whiterock at sunset before it became a lake, one of a bunch of geometric shapes, an unfinished one of a beautiful elf woman in a flowing gown, and one blank. Fluffy nods at the blank canvas. "I cleaned that one after Master Pelltiar spilled paint on it. Master Pelltiar was not pleased with me. He got the easel dirty. Why should I not clean it?" I draw a smiley face on the shapes.
With that, we take the trees and put them in the Bag of Holding. They'd look great in Logan's Run, and Fluffy can water them.
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