Castle Whiterock 25 October 2021: You get nothing for nothing, if that's what you do

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior

Mikal, human holy warrior

What happened

I let the others know about the wraiths, then turn a little down the hall on the other side of them. Polly moves, and shoots three cutting arrows at one, but misses. Garreth focuses on Great Haste, Mikal steps and casts Sunbolt, and Thrognar steps and focuses his heroic power.

The wraiths glide forward, unsheathing grim, flickering swords of nothingness. Polly looks suddenly shivering and starting to rime with frost as they near her. The swords of nothingness flash silently as shadow upon shadow. One wraith loses its balance as it swings at Polly, who gets out of the way. Garreth moves, then attacks, giving the off- balance wraith a couple whacks. He feels chill as he gets near. He hits, and feels the blade bite but only faintly, like fighting a swarm. Thrognar brandishes his holy symbol and holds it up to hold back the wraiths.

Polly moves and shoots thrice at a wraith, and the arrows rip small chunks of nothing away. I snap alert and yell at the nearest wraith, "You guys are doomed to an unlife of no booze!" It does not seem overly impressed. Then I step and wait for one to come near.

It does. Its aura of chill rimes me in frost.

There empty hoods full of angry nothingness turn gaze upon Garreth, but he yawns at them. The wraiths' voidblack blades lash out at Garreth. He takes some hits, drops his sword, and swears in Undercommon. He shouts at us, "Run!"

Polly looks sad. "But I was hurting it!" She doesn't fall back. Seeing weapons be less than effective, Thrognar keeps concentrating, in hope the wizard and or Polly can hurt them, "Polly, you can hurt them from behind me."

Polly says, "Oh okay." She moves and shoots thrice, wounding it. "I can't quite get behind you."
Mikal steps and waits to throw Sunbolt at any wraith coming towards him. Thrognar seems to be holding them back, so he keeps concentrating. "I can't keep this up forever, perhaps zapping them is in order." Mikal falls back and let them into the choke point, while Logan and I fly back to just behind Thrognar.

The wraiths split up. One goes to the left, while two others fly into a passage to the back and right. Garreth waits, trying to stay aware. I say, "They're gonna come around on us!"

Polly's worry is different. "They're getting away!" Bleu helpfully blabs that the spells Affect Spirits and Sunbolt work well on wraiths. None of this matters to Polly. She chases after the wraith that went east, and chills from its aura. She then shoots it thrice from behind. It dissipates in a blast of frost and chill. "Brrr!" Mikal steps and gets ready to throw Sunbolt. Thrognar readies a step for when someone gets out the way.

Logan and I move over to right keep aware for the wraiths. "Keep a look behind me, Logan." Polly chases the wraiths, shooting as she does. Garreth moves, putting his back to the ceiling. Bleu stays near to Thrognar, who steps, and Mikal steps in time with him.

Logan and I move into the tunnel a little bit, Logan looking behind. I see a wraith. "Boys and girls, we have company! One is coming!" It charges towards me, then sees Thrognar, so it flees instead.

I see that it seems to be silently saying something as it sees Thrognar. "The paladin doth stand before us, let us fly! Round back to the flank of our foes!"

I let the others know, "They're coming around again!" Polly moves around the other corner. We can hear the twang of her bow, and there's a slight thud from one of the arrows. I yell at her, "Polly! Get back here before you get your ass killed!" Polly moves back towards us on my advice. Garreth slides along the ceiling to stay with Thrognar, who steps. Mikal steps, too, and throws Sunbolt at the wraith down the tunnel. It sears fiercely into it, it burns as nothing and blackness flares up. It vaporizes into nothingness, a fresh clean nothingness.

I float forward a few steps warily. The wraith swings at Polly, but she gets out of the way.
She thinks about her life choices, but takes three shots as she runs past, and hits twice. Mikal steps and casts Sunbolt again. Thrognar steps around the corner towards the right. I fly down the tunnel kinda quickly but not too quickly.

The wraith steps and strikes Polly from behind, blade of nothing flickering in the darkness. She falls. Garreth rushes forward and shouts at the wraith, stunning it, then he grabs Polly. Mikal steps and throws Sunbolt at wraith, singing it. It flares up and it's mostly gone! Thrognar steps towards the wraith, holding it back.

I fly around the corner, trying to get behind the wraith, and I see an open-mouthed pit yawns in the middle of the floor. A fiery glow seeps into the room from that chasm, and waves of heat forshape the air above it. I then keep flying to try to get behind the wraith. Garreth swears in Undercommon, then shouts, again, stunning the wraith. As Mikal steps and casts Sunbolt, Garreth books it as fast as he can. Thrognar steps towards the wraith, and Bleu casts Great Haste on Mikal.

Mikal steps and throws Sunbolt at the wraith. The Sunbolt fries it to shadow and nothing. I hear sounds like something small hitting the ground as the wraiths died. I check out where it fell, and find a gold ring. I read the Undercommon writing on it. "Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die." I shake his head. "Nah, Logan, not for us." I then check out where the others fell, and find a silver ring and a copper ring. "Hey, Blah, what about these rings? They magic? Valuable? Boring?"

Bleu takes a look. "Ah, yes, it is said that in the Days of Old, when Benthosruthsa ruled Castle Whiterock, he chose three mortal champions amongst his guards, as men live less than elves or dragons, he forged them soul stealing rings of bleakest necromancy, to this day they are said to guard his realm eternal into undeath." Bleu thoroughly tells me all about this.

I yawn and ask, "I take it bad things happen if we wear them?"

Bleu says, "Yes, but they are valuable curios."

Garreth goes to sleep on the floor. I cover him and Polly with blankets.

Urbancrawling in Dungeon Fantasy

Urbancrawl procedures

1. GM determines weather
2. Wake up, handle effects of sleep, HT rolls for harsh climates, HT rolls for healing, breakfast
3. Shopping, healing, recharging 
4. Pick tasks for the day
5. Resolve tasks
6. Morning encounter
7. Afternoon encounter
8. Evening encounter
9. Cost of Living
10. Sleep/Night encounter

The General Idea

When the party gets back to town, resolve selling items from the dungeon first. Then, determine what the party wants to do, as these tasks, especially training and crafting, will determine how long the party must stay in town.

This is a work in progress. I have no idea how well much of this will work, though I have long assessed Cost of Living by the day, not by the week.

The High Cost of Urban Living

Cost of Living for Status 0 or higher is normally is $150/week. There are times when this is better assessed per day, in which case the Cost of Living for Status 0 is $20/day. This handles normal room and board, including cost to stay at a tavern. If delvers want to stay at an inn, this adds $80 to daily Cost of Living (thus, making it $100/day) and grants +2 to rolls for Bargain Hunting (Dungeons, p. 4; Exploits, p. 13), Rumors (Dungeons, p. 4; Exploits, p. 14), Advertising (Dungeons, p. 4; Exploits, p. 14), and Finding a Sponsor (Dungeons, p. 4; Exploits, p. 14).

Compulsive Behavior adds lower amounts to Cost of Living when tracking Cost of Living day by day. Instead of the chart on Adventurers, p. 59, a self-control number of 6 adds $16 each day to Cost of Living; a self-control number of 9 adds $12 each day; of 12 adds $8; and of 15 adds $4. This amount does not change with Status.

Daily Cost of Living to feed animals is $10 at SM 0. Halve this for each SM below 0, and take twofold this for each SM above 0. This likewise does not change with Status.

Slumming It

For Status -1, Cost of Living is $10/day, and the delver must make an Urban Survival roll against a cutpurse showing up to pick his or her pockets. Assume the cutpurse has an effective Pickpocket skill of 17 vs. the delver's Perception or Per-based Streetwise; failure means the cutpurse gets the delver's money. If the delver already owns a home here ($1,000 gets him or her a permanent hovel in town, but the delver still must pay Cost of Living), this roll is at +5. Casting the Watchdog spell before going to bed keeps this from happening.

For Status -2, Cost of Living is $4/day, and not only must the delver roll against Urban Survival to avoid a cutpurse as for Status -1, he or she must also must make a HT or HT-based Urban Survival roll to avoid the Aching Ague (below). If playing with the Hygiene modifier, apply it here. If for some reason the delver owns a home, that doesn't help at all with stopping the Aching Ague.

Someone living at Status -1 or lower might be going hungry. Roll Urban Survival. If someone living at Status -1 fails, he is down 1 FP from missing a meal; if someone living at Status -2 fails, he is down 1d/2 FP from missing meals. If someone living at Status -1 owns a home, he doesn't need to make this roll; if someone living at Status -2 owns a home, he still needs to roll, but treat failure as if he was living at Status -1.

Note that someone living below Status 0 will take a penalty to reactions in town equal to the Status at which he is living. He also takes the same penalty to Finding a Quest and Finding a Sponsor (Dungeons, p. 4; Exploits, p. 14).

Aching Ague

Bedbugs spread it, or rats and fleas on the street.

Statistics: Blood Agent (Bedbug bites); HT to resist; 1d-2 day delay; 1d-4 HT damage; 12-hour cycle with 6 cycles. Symptoms produce stomach problems, which is the Nauseated condition (p. B428) after losing 1/3 HT; after losing 2/3 HT, doing anything stressful like combat or moving more than 1 yard a second means a Retching (p. B429) spell for 2d seconds; resist HT to keep from retching. Not contagious.

Encounters

There are many chances for encounters in towns, but most of them are meaningless interactions. Check once for a meaningful random encounter each 6-hour segment of the day: Morning, Afternoon, Evening, and Night. Encounters happen on a 9 or less, assuming you want big ones; size of the settlement does not matter. (I'm rolling on Midkemia Press's Cities myself.) Since most delvers sleep at night, skip checking for Night encounters unless the delvers are outside at night, or living at Status -2 and do not own a home. Resolve encounters as they happen.

Delvers can also go looking for someone or somewhere. Finding a known person or location in a settlement takes an Area Knowledge (Settlement) roll. Note that if the settlement's Search modifier is more than -2, the settlement will have neighborhoods with their own Area Knowledge (Neighborhood) roll. Rolling for the whole settlement when delver does not know or specify the appropriate neighborhood is at -2. If the delver has Area Knowledge for a neighborhood and wants to find something in another neighborhood, this is a flat -3 to the roll; don't worry about distance. Finding an unspecified location (i.e., a "tavern" or a "swordsmith") is just like finding a hireling on p. B517.

Daily Activities

What can a delver do during the day while in town? The short answer is one action of each of Getting Stuff Cheap (Dungeons, p. 3; Exploits, p. 13), Scoring Extra Cash (Dungeons, p. 4; Exploits, p. 14), Finding a Quest or Finding a Sponsor (Dungeons, p. 4; Exploits, p. 14), and training (Training Expenses, The Next Level, p. 43; Exploits, p. 93).

Getting Stuff Cheap: If a delver wants to try Scrounging more than once a week, he or she is -3 for each successive attempt. Crafting and Brewing take longer than a day, so the delver needs to do this action each day until the item is finished. Brewing potions take the time listed for the potion in GURPS Magic. A fletcher on a successful Armoury (Missile Weapons) roll can craft 15 arrows a day. Weapons and armor take a number of days equal one twenty-fifth of the cost of the item. Otherwise, these actions each take a day.

Scoring Extra Cash: All of these actions take a day.

Finding a Quest and Finding a Sponsor: Like Crafting and Brewing, these actions take longer a day; specifically, they each take a week. Thus, a delver needs to do this action each day for a week to make the roll.

Training: A delver can also train for one new trait a day. This requires no roll, and applies only to adding new traits. Spend the points and the money for training; no roll is needed.

Keep in mind that these activities are separate from resolving any encounters.

Doing Work for Yuda: A delver who is down on cash can try to earn some with a side job in lieu of the tasks listed in Getting Stuff Cheap. Someone with Armoury, Artist, Carpentry, Farming, Jeweler, Leatherworking, Merchant, a Professional Skill, Sewing, or Teamster at 12 or better (defaults do not count) can roll against the best of these. Success means the delver earns $30 that day; critical success means the delver earns $60; critical failure means the delver has been blacklisted from working for the next week. The GM need not feel bound by the listed skills; if a player can make a case for why his non-combat skill would let his or her character earn money, let it do so.

If a delver lacks any of these skills, he can try to be a day laborer for much less. Roll against the delver's best basic attribute (ST, DX, IQ, or HT). Success means the delver earns $15 that day; critical success means the delver earns $30; critical failure means the delver has been blacklisted from working for the next week and takes 1d crushing damage from a mishap or a beating. DR does not help with this damage!

These are not secure jobs! To have one of those, the delver must own a home. For $1,000, the delver can buy a permanent hovel in town. While the delver must pay Cost of Living as normal, he or she makes job rolls monthly, as on p. B517. However, the delver must be at home and not adventuring when making monthly job rolls, making this only a choice for a long-term layoff.

Game log 24 October 2021: Not much, really

Aside from some fretting and arguing about incongruent expectations and a bored teenager, not much happened:

• There was the spending of points.
• There was a bard, Tulip, who played the Scarlet Harlot and joined the party at least for a little bit.
• There was a reading of the books of Dīžáttōr by Angelista.
• There was an impromptu trip north to end the session, but owing to bad weather the party didn't get far.
• There will be another post about urbancrawling and handling town that came from the experience of this session.

Game log 12 September 2021, 26 September 2021, 10 October 2021: Long way out

Dramatis personae

Angelista, slayer
Poklov, Town Watchdwarf
Felcanis, cleric
Honsou, bowman watched by the Town Watchdwarf

Quid occurrit

They take off their armor, and wrap a rope around Honsou. Felcanis casts Light on Honsou's gear, then Honsou goes into the water.

Honsou moves through the hall and takes a turn to the right, into another room. The room isn't big, with the only things in it being a rusty spittoon stuck on the floor to the left and a big hole to the right. Honsou thinks the flow of the water at the hole triggers some kind of trap, and when he looks, he thinks sticking something into the hole will bring about something shooting or stabbing the fool who does this.

After about 30 seconds, Honsou comes back and tells the others about the room and the hole; Poklov thinks it could be a drain. Angelista tries to get Poklov to leave behind his armor and swim through the maze of rooms, but he balks.

They send Honsou back into the room again, this time to see if the hole is a drain. He sticks his hand into the hole, and a big spear sticks into him. Poklov feels the rope go limp, and he pulls Honsou back to dry land. There, Poklov bandages him, and Felcanis casts Stop Bleeding on him, then Major Healing.
Angelista again tries to talk Poklov to swimming through the tunnels, but again Poklov balks. Felcanis agrees with Poklov once she learns that would mean leaving Bill to die. So, they rest, and Felcanis casts Lend Energy twice to bring the wind back to Honsou.

They go back into the room with the upward-dangling rope, and all of the sudden something rushes out of the darkness to stab Poklov—a hellshot. Poklov steps out of the way, and after a few seconds of trading blows and parries and Honsou dropping his knife, Poklov knocks down the hellshot with his shield. Angelista cuts its neck, Poklov smashes its skull, then Angelista runs it through.

Honsou checks the door on the side opposite the stairs, and finds it safe and unlocked. Beyond it is a hallway with a big curtain to the right. They walk past the curtain, then to a fork in the hall, and take a left. They make it to a door, then bash it open.

Beyond the door is a room with no other ways out and three shocked folks, two women and a man. After Poklov says hello, a short, stocky woman near the door picks up her staff and asks who just now burst into the room. After some testy words with Angelista, the heroes learn the woman is Alligên, a cleric of Saundīvós, who was resting with two acolytes of Saundīvós, Puménē and Vaíkkolos.

As it happens, Alligên is a mighty cleric, at least as far as casting spells, and she heals Poklov's eye for a donation. Alligên lets the heroes know that she and her acolytes did not come through Dībités Rock and instead through a cave, so there is another way out of the dungeon.

Alligên tells the heroes that they have to walk a bit to get to the way out, and that the only thing that has saved the cleric is the Bless spells Alligên has cast on them. The heroes agree to let Alligên show them the way out.

They wind their way back to the room with the upward-dangling rope, then walk into the hallway where the werewolves had turned themselves into beasts. From there, they go around a corner and into another room with leftovers of old crates and barrels, and points at a wall to the right. "Right about here is a doorway," she says. It looks like a normal wall, so Honsou looks and finds the cracks and a rock at the bottom right corner he can wiggle to open the wall. Before he gets the door open, Alligên lets them know there are ghouls on the other side, so the clerics will have their holy symbols ready.

When Honsou gets the door open, they can see a small room with a way out to the far right, an old pipe organ on the far wall with fluid dripping from the ceiling before it, and rotting pews in between. Between the pews and the organ are four ghouls, which Angelista knows to have a hunger for bodies and a paralyzing touch. "Do not let them touch you!"

Honsou gets out a broadhead arrow and aims at a ghoul, while the ghouls wait for the heroes to come to them. Alligên raises her holy symbol, and two of the ghouls scream and hold back. Angelista lobs her spear at a ghoul at where she thinks their vitals are, then pulls out her sword. The spear goes straight into the innards of the ghoul, but doesn't drop it. Poklov moves to the fore of the others. Felcanis points her mace and tries to cast Armor on Angelista, but fails. The acolytes both concentrate, and the ghouls cower from them.

The broadhead arrow flies from Honsou's bow and into Alligên's right leg as Honsou loses his balance. She keeps concentrating through the pain. "I hope your friend doesn't kill me before the ghouls do, Felcanis!" Still up, she steps towards Poklov. Angelista runs up to the ghoul with her spear still in it and swings her sword, but misses. Poklov jumps onto a pew. Felcanis tries to cast Turn Zombie, but again her spell does not go off right. The acolytes, like their master, keep concentrating.

Honsou pulls out another arrow and aims. The ghoul with the spear in it passes out from its wounds. Angelista steps to strike another nearby ghoul, and it claws at Angelista. However, she gets her shield before its claws, and swings her sword so hard into its neck that its head almost comes off, though the ghoul, already being dead, stays up. Poklov slams a ghoul with his shield and also flicks aside its claw with his axe. Felcanis steps and casts Turn Zombie, this time wounding the ghouls. The acolytes keep concentrating, much as Alligên is.

Honsou changes his aim to another ghoul after a step and telling Vaíkkolos to move. The ghoul near Angelista lands a hit on her with its claw, weakening her, though it doesn't paralyze her. A ghoul near Poklov claws at him, but he steps back, while another rushes to claw him but misses. Alligên casts Lend Energy 3 on Angelista, and Saundīvós smiles so much at this that He heals all of Angelista's weakened nerves. Angelista swings for its neck, but its claw pushes aside the sword. Poklov tries to cut off the hand of a ghoul but misses, and Felcanis casts Sunbolt. The acolytes step back.

The thief keeps aiming, bothered since there are two folks between him and the ghoul. The ghoul swings for Angelista, who pushes her shield in the way in time. Another ghoul backs up, and the last one swings for Poklov and hits, claw stopping at the armor. Alligên swings her staff at a ghoul and hits, and it falls apart

Honsou keeps aiming. Angelista swings at a ghoul and misses, and Poklov swings at a ghoul and it steps back. Felcanis lobs her Sunbolt at a ghoul, burning it. The acolytes step to get out of the way of Honsou's shot. The ghouls step back from the crowd, the acolytes' turning them back.

At last Honsou gets off his shot, hitting the ghoul in the neck, weakening it. Another ghoul moves back, while another misses Angelista with her claw. Angelista rushes at the back-most ghoul and swings but misses. Alligên steps and casts Major Healing on herself. Poklov slams his shield into a ghoul. Felcanis goes over the pew, and the acolytes step forward.

Honsou gets out another arrow and aims. A ghoul takes a swing at Angelista, who gets her shield in the way. When another ghoul swings for Poklov, Poklov's axe catches its arm and cuts it. Alligên climbs on the pew. Angelista swings at the ghoul that tried to hit him, but it stepped back in time. Poklov puts his axe in skull of the ghoul near him, taking it out. Felcanis leaps over the pew, and stands before a slightly-raised stone daïs. Puménē steps and concentrates, while Vaíkkolos moves, dropping concentration.

Trying to save arrows, Honsou hides. Alligên moves to the daïs. The last ghoul claws at Angelista. She catches the claw on the rim of her shield then gives the ghoul a sword blow to its neck, sending it staggering backwards. Poklov moves up, and Felcanis goes back around the pew to get Bill. Puménē steps and concentrates, while Vaíkkolos goes around the pew. The ghoul and Angelista trade blows, with neither hitting at first, then Angelista takes off its head.

Among the ghouls' rubble is a ceramic jar. Even though they hear the jingle of coins inside, they hold off on opening it, instead putting it in Bill's saddlebags.

After beating the ghouls, Alligên casts Stop Bleeding on Angelista and the acolytes each cast Minor Healing on her.  After some waiting, Alligên casts Major Healing on Felcanis, and the acolytes cast Lend Energy on Felcanis to bring her back up faster. Alligên casts Stop Bleeding and Minor Healing on Honsou, then they rest some more.

They walk around the corner to the left, but Honsou says there's something happening in the hallway to the right. Since Alligên says the way out is to the left, they go that way, but the din to the right gets louder, becoming the din of growls and claws on stone. Honsou moves to the back in time to see the werewolves burst out from the hallway.

The werewolves rush into the room. Angelista gets out her sword and moves towards them, and Poklov also moves towards them.  Alligên and the acolytes start digging in their pouches for wolfsbane. Felcanis casts Armor on Angelista, and Honsou pulls out an arrow and aims.

The werewolves rush towards Poklov and Angelista but miss. Poklov tries to slam the werewolf before Angelista but misses. Felcanis casts Sunbolt, while Honsou keeps aiming.

One werewolf tries to claw Angelista, but she parries, while the other whacks Poklov in the back of the skull, but his helmet takes the blow. Felcanis lobs her Sunbolt, but hits Vaíkkolos the acolyte instead. "Yow!" he yelps, but steps back and keeps digging in his pouch.

The werewolves try to claw Angelista and Poklov, but sword and armor take the blows. Poklov misses, while Felcanis casts another Sunbolt. The werewolves still cannot get through Angelista's and Poklov's defenses, and Poklov's axe misses a werewolf's skull. Alligên gets out the wolfsbane and steps towards the fray, while Felcanis again misses with a Sunbolt, though doesn't hit anyone by mistake this time.

Honsou likewise shoots at a werewolf, but he misses. The werewolves again cannot get through to claw Angelista and Poklov, while Poklov's axe cannot get through the skull of a werewolf. Alligên steps forward, holding up the wolfsbane, while the acolytes get out their bundles.

As Honsou gets out another arrow and aims, the werewolves swing for Angelista; one gets a scratch through her armor. Poklov slams that werewolf from behind, knocking it down.

Now that the werewolves smell the wolfsbane and having only landed one scratch in many seconds of fighting, they go back down the hallway, though Poklov gets off one last useless blow on the werewolf on the ground, who doesn't care.

Alligên says, "Don't tell me you went into a dungeon without some of this stuff."

Angelista says, "Yeah, we did."

Alligên says, "Were you just thinking, 'Let's go down and kill that balrog! It will be easy!'?"

The heroes, no fully around the corner, make it into a room that looks like an old laboratory. There is an old table with a mortar and pestle on it along with a jar. There is a suit of rusty plate armor with a rusty halberd near the door. Honsou thinks the armor might be trapped, but doesn't care, and goes for the door. Doing so, he foolishly steps on the tripwire of the trapped armor before this. He hears it swing, but it can't get out of the way, so it hurts him good. Alligên casts Major Healing on Honsou, who then unhooks the tripwire.

Honsou opens the door; it is not trapped and unlocked. Beyond the door, this old storeroom is just a bunch of barrels whose wine has long turned to vinegar, with two big centipedes who see the heroes open the door. They try to bite Angelista, who is right by Honsou, but neither hits, with one putting its teeth in her shield. Honsou pulls out an arrow and steps back. Poklov throws his axe into a centipede, and pulls out another one. Angelista tries to stab the innards of a centipede, but she can't hit it.

Both centipedes again try to bite Angelista, but cannot get through her armor. As neither she nor Poklov can get through their shells, it's only fair. They bite back at Poklov and Angelista, but they bite armor and shield. That's more than Poklov and Angelista can do back. Felcanis casts Armor on Angelista. Honsou tries to shoot a centipede but misses.

Poklov, having now stepped behind the centipedes, hits one in the skull from behind, while Angelista pokes on in the innards. The centipedes keep trying to bite Angelista and Poklov, whose armor is too touch for their bites. Poklov takes one down, while Angelista can't get through the shell of the other one. It tries to bite her, but instead bites the floor. Honsou, arrow out again, aims at the centipede, while Poklov tries to play a game he calls "Diablo" and breaks a barrel. Angelista misses the centipede, which bites her armor, and Poklov stops playing Diablo and takes down the last centipede with a blow to the skull.

The gang gets into the barrel room, and blocks the door with some of them. They rest, with the acolytes casting Lend Energy on Felcanis and Poklov. Ten minutes later, Felcanis does the same on Poklov, and after a few more minutes, they're fully rested.

They follow a path to the right out of the room, up a short rise, then reach a fork. Between the fork, there is a metal trunk with a chain and collar linked to it. There is a dead body of a big lizard in that collar, and the chest is open and empty. Alligên says, "It was like that when we came in. That lizard has been dead awhile." After this, she leads them to the left, past some hollow tubes of stone that look like they are growing from the ceiling, then up another short rise. There is a tunnel going left, and Alligên says, "We came from there."

They go through the tunnel, and after about an hour, they come out by a tree with ravens and a lake. Dībités Rock is along the shoreline; it's late afternoon. After telling the clerics they need to get home, Alligên nods at the heroes and says, "We need to get back, too. We're from Blossētétiš"—a town well to the north the north—"so we have a loooong trek. We obviously weren't up to this. We'll be sure to welcome you if you ever come, Felcanis." Poklov gives her a donation of 100 copper, then they start to the north.

They hunt that night (other than Felcanis, who casts Create Food for herself) and pitch camp. They spend the next three days going back to Mīstássun, with Honsou using his last arrows to hunt.

Castle Whiterock 11 October 2021: Inky, Inky, Inky, no Clyde

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

(Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior)

(Stonemaul, half-orc holy warrior)
(Mikal, human holy warrior)

What happened

Now that we've checked out the area with the inferno cats, we're ready to look around elsewhere. After some chatting, we walk right, beyond where we fought the cats, and when it branches, we keep to the left. However, something about ten yards down the tunnel stops my darkvision. "Garreth, can you ask Droning Booty what's making my darkvision to fade there?"

Garreth asks Bleu, who says, "Might be more spellruin ivy."

After some chatter, we learn from Blah that smoking it ruins magical aptitude and likely won't get us high, and it would dull non-orichalcum blades trying to cut it. This means that spellruin ivy sucks, so we choose to go another way.

I lean down to Logan and ask, "Hey, boy, smell anything?" He makes honking sounds and looks down a hallway to the right of the one with the spellruin ivy. We hear unhappy honking sounds coming from there, and I put on my ring. "Not more of these guys."

Bleu also hears the sound. "Ah, it sounds like destrachans, and also a certain squishy sound that reminds me of the Myrtatum Maximum Nigrum from the cafeteria. The destrachans sound rather frightened." We step a little farther down, and find four destrachans and the biggest black pudding I've ever seen.

Polly, as always, starts shooting, taking down two destrachans with head shots. Garreth starts trying to speed himself up, and asks Bleu about this black pudding. Bleu says this is like a normal black pudding, but it's as big as a big dragon, and thus has a hunger at least as big as a big dragon's. Its acid could eat up our weapons, and, if we hit it hard enough, it will bud off smaller puddings. The last two destrachans flee, honking at Polly and Logan, who get away from their cone of sound. Logan slams into the one by him, knocking it back.

That's the best thing to happen to that destrachan today, since right after that, the black pudding's pseudopods reach out at the destrachans, Polly, and Logan. Polly and Logan get out of the way, but the pudding slurps back the destrachans into its body after the destrachan that Logan hurt bursts.

I yell at Garreth, "Garreth, something tells me this is the wrong way!"

Garreth yells back, "I've been telling you this isn't the way."

Bleu casts Great Haste on herself, and Polly shoots three arrows at the big pudding, which does nothing other than making the pudding drop a few destrachan bits. "So, uh, back to the start?"

Garreth nods, then lets out a roar. The pudding stops, stunned.

We fly away. Bleu says, "With us flying it probably can't actually track us, the Myrtatum Maximum Nigrum hunts by taste of the ground when it cannot directly sense its prey."

As we fly away, we chat about now needed it is to kill the pudding. Bleu and I say that it likely has no treasure, which makes Polly sad, and deem it truly evil. Garreth agrees with Polly: "Loot destruction is evil."

I say we have to find other ways of killing it besides hitting it with weapons. Bleu says it can see, that slime-affecting spells work on it but are tiring to cast because it's so big, and it has magic resistance. I suggest luring it into lava, and Bleu says it's as smart as a wolf, so won't fall for that trick. We all do think that getting it into a pit would slow it a little, letting us drop big things onto it.

I look down the other tunnels to the right. One has more spellruin ivy, but another leads us to a statue of a broad-shouldered, tiger-like creature stands in the middle. It has top-notch craftsmanship, and looks ready to pounce. This worries me greatly, so I ask Blah about it. She says that it looks like an inferno cat under the effects of a Flesh to Stone spell or something like that, which is pretty much what made me worried.

Garreth says I need to check this out. I shake my head. "Logan, keep Garreth and Polly company. Pee on Bleu's robes if I don't come back." With that, I put on my ring, and fly a little farther.

Rising like an ill mist from the floor are three shapes of what I think are big men made of shadow. I fly backwards, and take off my ring. I'm pretty sure they saw me even with it on. "Looks like Nazgûl."

Other stuff

"Myrtatum Maximum Nigrum" is indeed Latin for "biggest black pudding." Kalzazz didn't do a bad job picking words, getting the last two right. I checked and found that "pudding" in Latin is "myrtatum" or "murtatum" (it's an obvious Greek loanword); "nigrum" might be redundant, since myrtatum is already a sausage with myrtle berries.

Castle Whiterock 13 September 2021: Cats and not-quite-dogs

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior

Stonemaul, half-orc holy warrior
Mikal, human holy warrior
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

What they did

Garreth drinks something from his flask, and I make a sound like a dying giraffe. Then we hear the three destrachans honk and come at us. Thrognar takes up a spot in the foremost lines, while Mikal goes off to the side, near the ivy. I wait for one to come for me, but Logan flies forward and tries to bite a destrachan. Polly shoots one a few times and it drops. Thrognar focuses, and gets strong and fast, and Bleu casts Great Haste on Garreth.

Destrachans swell up as they breathe in. The giant stomps over shield first trying to smash Thrognar, and tries to overrun Logan as he does so, but both get out of the way. He makes it to Garreth and tries to smash him, but he parries. Once the giant stops, he swings his hammer at Bleu, but Garreth parries that, too.

Logan dashes towards a destrachan and bites it. Polly shoots three arrows at it, dropping it. Thrognar and Garreth swing a few times at the giant, taking him down and smashing in his skull. Some of the blood gets on my face. "Ewww, Garreth. You had to know I was behind him, man."

The last destrachan honks. Logan harmonizes with it, but the sonic blast hurts Polly. Stonemaul, however, steps out of the shadows and reads a Rune of Protection heal her pain. Logan bites more destrachan, while Polly peppers it with arrows, killing it.

Polly looks a bit tired and rubs her arms. Logan keeps eating, then trots back to Garreth and me with some destrachan-flesh in his mouth. Logan drops the gnawed leg of the destrachan at Garreth's feet, and nudges it with his nose, as if offering to share it with Garreth, me, or anyone else. While Garreth is loath to try some at first, but when Bleu says that fried destrachan legs are a delicacy for swamp elves, he has to try.

After looting the bags of the giant, I start tracking the big cats. After a short walk, I find them. They look like a cross between bulldogs and tigers, then leap towards us. Garreth triggers Great Haste and Stonemaul drops the backpack and gets into a good spot. The inferno cats come to Logan and me. I put my knife in the eye of one, dropping it, while Logan claws the face of the other one. It breathes acid fire at us, burning us a little, but misses me with its claws. Polly shoots it thrice, and misses it thrice.

Stonemaul moves, and Garreth moves before he chops at the inferno cat. He wounds it, then Logan and I do the same. Polly shoots it in the eyes, dropping it. I fix my armor from the acid, and Logan rips the inferno cat to shreds.

Game log 29 August 2021: There's silver in … somewhere else

 

Dramatis personae

Angelista, slayer
Poklov, Town Watchdwarf
Felcanis, cleric
Honsou, bowman watched by the Town Watchdwarf

Quid occurrit

The horde pygmies run away. The heroes loot the bodies of the horde pygmies and the hellshots and find nothing, but do find 120 coins in the fake bottom of a trunk in the back of the room. Felcanis checks the walls, and finds them true walls, not fake.

They wait in the room for a bit, then see some light to the southwest. After seeing that the light comes from some horde pygmies poking the bodies of their dead, Poklov runs at them, screaming.

Angelista throws a javelin at a horde pygmy, but misses. Poklov shield-slams into the same horde pygmy, killing it. Honsou aims. Poklov puts his axe into another horde pygmy's neck, almost cutting off its head, but somehow it stays up. He turns towards another, and gives it an axe blow to its chest. He swings for a third one, but misses. Angelista steps and readies another javelin.

In light of how much they can do to the gang of murderhobes, the horde pygmies turn and run. Honsou shoots the horde pygmy with the big wound in its neck, and not only does the arrow kill it, but it goes through and hits the horde pygmy in front of it, killing that horde pygmy. Poklov runs forward and goes for the throat of the nearest standing horde pygmy, taking off its head, and takes out another with a swing to its chest. 

They let the other horde pygmies run away; they're too tired to chase. After about an hour of resting, Lend Energy spells, and a Major Healing spell on Poklov, they're ready to go again. They make it back to the great hall where they came onto this level, and this time take the stairs down. Honsou brings the chest.

They find themselves in a room that is only about twenty feet to the other wall, which has a door on the other side, but goes about thirty feet to the left and the right. To the left, they see a frayed rope tied to an iron ring in the floor going straight up, halfway to the ceiling. Poklov tugs at the iron ring, which does nothing.

They spend a few minutes checking out the rope. Honsou goes near it, and learns that there are straight cracks in the floor, coming from the left wall and stopping about ten feet from that door. He finds that the rope dangling upwards; gravity is going the wrong way for it. Honsou shrugs, and throws the chest at the door, which does nothing. He finds the unharmed door locked with a poison needle inset in the lock, and sees its hinges a little too flush with the wall for his liking. He unsets the poison needle, then cuts the floating rope about midway through. The rope he has does nothing, but the rest of the rope still dangles upwards. Honsou tries putting the chest on the ring, but it falls, then checks the cracks of the door and thinks that opening the door triggers whatever the floor does. There's the musty smell of water beyond the door, though the door is neither wet nor warped.

At the other end of the room, Felcanis can make out two man-sized beings. She tells the others, and with that, the beings walk towards. Poklov starts chopping open the door, and Angelista goes to meet the two beings, whom he sees are a man with a pointed beard and a woman with wet hair. Both have broadswords and shields, but neither wears armor. 

Angelista tells them to halt, and the man asks her who they are. When neither the man nor Angelista says who he or she is, the woman asks, in a nasal voice, "Blah, blah, blah, where is the man with the half-shaved head?" Angelista says that she doesn't know, and the woman says, "Oh? So he's not up there? He's kind of wild-looking and had a bad date with a razor on his scalp." Since Angelista doesn't know who this is and neither group wants to say who it is, the two walk back and turn a corner.

After a few seconds, they hear dog-like roars around that corner. Then, two furry beings rush at them. They are bipedal yet canine, with big claws and thick fur. One has wet hair, and the hair on the underside of the snout of the other somehow makes a forked beard.

Honsou takes a shot, but his arrow doesn't get past the beast's fur. Both step towards Angelista and swat at her with their claws, but her shield and sword push them back. Felcanis yells, "They're werewolves! We need silver weapons and wolfsbane!" Sure enough, Poklov tries to put his axe in one, and he doesn't take heed at all.

As it dawns upon them that they cannot harm the werewolves, they run through the broken door, with Poklov holding them off until Felcanis casts Sunlight. The werewolves stop and look to the sky, letting Poklov get out; they do not run after them.

Res aliae

Nobody has the Swimming skill, which should make the unseen water even more fun.

Castle Whiterock log 16 August 2021: Cutting short

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior

Stonemaul, half-orc holy warrior
Mikal, human holy warrior
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

What they did

I don't know how many times I wake up over the week to Logan licking my face and Garreth laughing about something I did. I mean, that's a common happening for me, but with F'thirya in town, this happens more than my wont. F'thirya sees to it that nobody else gets any work done, either. And unlike everyone else, I'm lucky to have a mustelid with me, and can handle it.

Seven days, fifteen slaps, twelve heaves, six dry heaves, eight kegs, six bottles of wine, five bottles of whiskey, and two projectile vomiting contests later, I find myself in the Slumbering Drake again, sitting with Garreth, Mikal, Thrognar, and Chauntessa. "And now we're on the next level, which is the 'Burning Maze,'" Garreth tells Chauntessa.

I chime in, "Yeah, we want salamander amulets for that."

Chauntessa nods and looks at us. "Please ask Miss Minyad to ship more beer, we seem to be quite low." Garreth and I look at each other and hold back our chuckles, and Chauntessa turns her head to the side. "Why does Ixnay have an egg that's glowing and levitating?"

We all turn and look and sure enough, Ixnay has an egg as big as a chicken's and a glossy golden color, that is also glowing and floating. Ixnay is wrapping his tail around it to keep it from floating off. We look at the egg in wonder. "Seems F'thirya liked Ixnay more than expected," I say. Garreth taps his sword and mumbles to it, then shrugs, saying nothing.

Garreth asks Chauntessa, "Where do we stand on the process to reverse the curse?"

Chauntessa says, "You still need to slay Benthorusra, and look out for info on the Sleep of Ages." She rubs her head. "I perhaps should not have drunk that dwarven vodka or at least stopped after the first keg. Can we discuss this later?"

Garreth nods. "Sure, just thinking ahead."

I buy a bunch of Salamander Amulets for the gang, and we try them out. Thrognar asks what they do, and I tell him to put it on. After he does, I pull down a torch and hold it under his arm. "Feel that?" Mikal makes a sermon about the goodness of Salamander Amulet, and gets one from his church, so we have an extra.

So we go through all the myriad duergar levels, then the Underdark after the duergar level, then past the slain ruins of the wall. The winding staircase draws us deeper into the earth. The heat is fantastic, and gets more intense the further down we go. After descending about one hundred and ten feet, the stairs terminate in a spacious, bow-legged tunnel. The cave structure down here is unlike anything we’ve seen previously. The walls are smooth, almost as if they were worked by spell or skill, but the floor is pockmarked and littered with fused rubble. The ground looks very rough to walk on, but no one is walking. Bleu casts some spells on us after some grumbling, while Polly casts some spells on us with zeal, and we go ahead.

I spot some tracks. Big cat prints lead one way, destrachan prints lead another, and giant boot prints lead a third. The giant boots prints have a short stride for boots so big. Garreth and I talk, and we choose to go after the giants. From ahead, I  make out the flickering light of a torch or small fire. I also hear a deep, basso profundo voice humming to itself. The humming is the popular drinking tune "Bloody Jack's Last Raid." Garreth starts meditating.

Many tunnels come together ahead, making a small opening. A small fire is wedged in a fold of the tunnel wall, and by its light I see a man, almost twelve feet tall, with black skin and a blazing red beard. He tends two strange creatures: hunched-over, hairless, eyeless lizard-monkeys with nasty, black claws and double-lobed ears. This makes me shiver.

One of the monsters looks at me somehow, even though it has no eyes. The giant asks it in Dwarven, "You hear somethin', Cutie?" I float back a bit, still keeping my sight on the giant. However, the beast honks, and the giant gets up, readying his hammer and shield. I fly back.

There, my friends are looking at what seems to be some ivy. Thrognar flies near the ivy and suddenly sinks, as if weight suddenly burdens him. Mikal goes near, and loses his active spells, and suddenly feels hotter. Polly shoots the plant with a cornucopia arrow, and it vanishes before it hits. They back away, and their magic items start working again. Mikal casts Continual Light again to bring back light. Thrognar says, "Seems we want to avoid this way." Garreth says it must be spell ruin ivy.

We await the giant, whom we can hear coming towards us.

Other stuff

We had to quit early as our GM was called away by his work.

Game log 25 July 2021: Small isn't beautiful

Dramatis personae

Angelista, slayer
Poklov, Town Watchdwarf
Felcanis, cleric
Honsou, bowman watched by the Town Watchdwarf

Quid occurrit

The horde pygmies run east. Poklov shield-slams a horde pygmy, knocking it out, while Angelista picks up her javelin.

To the east, the heroes hear a bunch of "pffft" sounds. Angelista and Poklov go east, and see the horde pygmies turned towards the north, with a bunch of hellshots are running at them. The hellshots see Angelista and Poklov and rush towards them. Honsou and Felcanis reach the others.

Two hellshots slam a horde pygmy, knocking it out. One tries to slam Poklov, but he steps out of the way. Another tries to run at him with its spear, but misses. Angelista runs at one with her sword, but misses. Poklov steps and misses with his axe. The horde pygmies stand there with their blowguns to their lips. Felcanis moves towards the others. Honsou moves towards the others, pulling out an arrow as he does.

One hellshot runs at Angelista and misses with its spear, as does another on Poklov. One stabs Poklov with its spear but it doesn't get through armor, while Poklov blocks another stab with his shield, and steps away from a third. Angelista slashes her sword hard into the weapon arm of the hellshot in front of her, but misses. Poklov swings for the leg of the hellshot by Angelista, but it parries with its spear. Felcanis rushes forward to get near the fray. Honsou shoots a hellshot, but the arrow just sticks onto its skin.

One hellshot runs around the back of the gang. A hellshot stabs at Angelista, and gets past her shield and armor. Another tries to stab Poklov in the face, but he parries. A second one does hit, but his armor stops it. A third one tries to hit his eyes, but misses. Angelista whacks a hellshot's midriff, but it stays standing. Poklov chops the legs off a hellshot. The horde pygmies, still holding their blowguns to their mouths, step forward. Felcanis runs to Angelista. Honsou gets out another arrow.

A hellshot runs into Angelista's back, but bounces off her and falls down. Another gets past her shield for a small wound, while three hellshots, including two on the ground, miss Poklov's eye slit. Angelista slashes hard on the one before her, dropping it, then says to the one behind her, "You are next. I would run." Poklov chops twice at the neck of a hellshot, but it stays standing. The horde pygmies shoot their blowgun darts at Poklov's eyes. Five darts hit, blinding him. Felcanis casts Stop Bleeding on Poklov. Housou shoots a hellshot on the ground, but it still writhes. It tries to shove its spear up Angelista's rear, but it can't get through her armor. The other hellshots try to poke Poklov in the eyes, but miss.

Angelista steps and misses the hellshot to her left. "I'm covering your left, dwarf!"

Poklov swings blindly at a hellshot, but misses. "Thanks, lass!"

The horde pygmies pull out more darts. Felcanis casts Major Healing on Poklov, and he can see out of one eye again. Honsou pulls a chest he found earlier in the dungeon, and stands over a hellshot's head, ready to drop it on it. The other hellshot on the ground passes out. The hellshot in the back tries to stab Felcanis, but breaks its spear instead. The other two try to stab Poklov in the eye. They not only miss, but one of them breaks its spear.

Angelista slashes hard at the one on Poklov's left, though it stays up. Poklov plants his axe into a hellshot and it falls dead as it tries to step away.

The horde pygmies step back and aim with their blowguns. Felcanis casts Major Healing on Angelista. Honsou smashes the trunk on the hellshot's head. It passes out.

Two hellshots try to hit Angelista. The one missing legs tries to feebly stab her with its spear, while the other bites her. It gets past her shield, but tastes armor and tough skin. Angelista steps back and cuts a hellshot, though it stays awake. Poklov smashes his axe into a horde pygmy, knocking it out. He swings his other axe at another horde pygmy, but it steps away. The horde pygmies again fire their darts at Poklov, one hitting him in his already hurt eye. He stays awake, but falls. Angelista yells, "By the gods, dwarf, are you trying to get killed?"

Felcanis smashes a hellshot with her mace, but can't get through its armor skin. Honsou whips out a knife and tries to throw it at a hellshot, but misses. One hellshot tries to bite Felcanis another tries to stab her, but both miss. Angelista shoves her spear into the innards of the hellshot before her. The horde pygmies get out more darts.

The body of the hellshot before Felcanis suddenly glows in bright light. Felcanis misses a hellshot with her mace, and Honsou pulls out another knife. The unlit hellshot passes out, while the lit-up one tries to stab Felcanis. However, its spear breaks. Angelista steps on a downed hellshot as she tries to stab the brightly-lit hellshot. She misses, her eyes hurting from the light. Poklov kneels. The horde pygmies start aiming again.

Felcanis misses the dazzling hellshot with her mace, while Honsou grabs his bow. The dazzling hellshot tries to bite Felcanis, but misses, its own eyes dazzled from its body's sudden light. Angelista misses with her broadsword, and Poklov stands. Honsou pulls out an arrow, and the glowing hellshot misses Angelista. She swings at it again, this time hurting it. Poklov quickly grabs his axes and puts one of them into a horde pygmy, knocking it out. The other horde pygmies start running past the heroes.

Felcanis starts casting Dispel Magic to try to get rid of the glow of the hellshot. While she's casting, the hellshot tries to bite Angelista, but she blocks it. Honsou shoots down a horde pygmy. The hellshot again tries to bite Felcanis, missing, and Angelista gets her sword into it, killing it, and ending its glow. Poklov kills a fleeing horde pygmy with his axe. Honsou pulls out his knife and tries to stab another, but misses. Angelista sheathes her sword, while Poklov kills two more. Felcanis, now no longer needing to cast her spell, swings and misses a horde pygmy. Honsou stabs at another one, knocking it out. Angelista pulls out her javelin.

Castle Whiterock 2 August 2021: Names are a problem

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior

Stonemaul, half-orc holy warrior

Murderhoboing

I poke Logan. "C'mon, wake Garreth! Lick 'im!" Logan licks, but he cannot wake Garreth, with Garreth's Epic Willpower and Mental Strength. Ohm. I turn to Polly, as we need to get going. "So, Polly, Bleu … wait, Thrognar?" Sure enough, there's Thrognar. "When did you get here?"

Thrognar says, "Just now. Priest Gilles is rather longwinded."

I chuckle, "Sorry for all the sins we did, but that's just how I roll at night."

Thrognar says, "Your soul is the only one damaged by your sins. No need to apologize. To me."

Polly asks, "Doesn't killing evil things expiate sins? Like if you eat an extra cookie you can kill an extra orc and it balances out."

I shrug. "I really don't care."

Thrognar says, "Only if done so truly for penance, not for profit."

Polly says, "Oh … so you gotta kill the orc, but donate the proceeds to feed the innocent puppies and kittens?"

Stonemaul chimes in, "Depends on which god you're talking about, really."

Wait, Stonemaul? "Wow … Polly, did I do some shrooms before this?"

Polly says, "When do you not do shrooms?"

Stonemaul says, "I was just up at the temple doing a bit of communing with my god, which mostly means coating the meditation chamber with itching powder and a few strategically placed crickets before the other worshipers get in. Early-bird and all that."

I ask the glowing ball, "F'ffith—however you say your name, can you restore Garreth's strength?"

F'thirya, "F-fear-eee-ah. Like Etheria"

I say, "Yeah, that. Anyways, his strength. Royal Ugly Dude sapped him good."

F'thirya says, "Oh very well, verily shall I turn my Celestial powers unto his restoration, that he might further the cause of Chaos and Good, but thou shalt really encourage him to get into more wild parties." And then she heals Garreth.

I say, "Well, yeah, I'm always there for wild parties. I live for those." 

Stonemaul says, "I think we call you Erica now, eh?

I lift my chain shirt and looks down my pants. "No, I'm still Ibizaber."

Stonemaul shakes his head. "Not you, but F'thirya."

F'thirya says, "What pray tell is wrong with F'thirya?"

Stonemaul says, "It's more than two syllables, and makes you trip over your lips when saying it."

F'thirya waits a moment before saying, "Erica is three syllables."

Thrognar says, "But it doesn't force together those syllables with Sovereign Glue."

Stonemaul nods sagely at F'thirya. "Erin it is, then."

I roll my eyes. "Really, who gives a damn about syllable count? Now, let's go check out Royal Ugly Dude's lair."

F'thirya says, "I suppose we can compromise on Erica, now then, since you have vanquished the Fell Balfosa. Should you win free of this dread place, then upon your summon I shall but once fly to thy aid, though should you topple the obelisks lain around Castle Whiterock to ruin the curse laid upon this trap."

We check out the demonic curtain. It is a horrid thing that seems stitched of the groaning, agonized faces of Demon and Celestial alike. There's a vrock, a hezrou, and a lantern archon, among others, molding in and out. It looks like demon and angel hides stitched together that are constantly groaning, pleading, and writhing in misery. Ungrateful curtain. "Oh, what's YOUR problem?" I beckon everyone with my hand.

I tell the others, "I don't like it. It's a curtain that makes the room look smaller. Bad feng shui." I yell at Bleu to bring up the rear, but she's taking a nap as Garreth meditates. I look at Polly. "Can you believe the nerve of that wizard?"

Thrognar says, "We should destroy this, release this souls."

I add, "And see what's behind it."

Polly asks, "Ooh, attack?"

Stonemaul says, "Might it be possible to do something more, I dunno, clerical to it? Throg, that's not exactly my expertise. Do you have any ideas?"

I yawn. "If Blah were awake, she'd bore it to death."

Thrognar says, "Burning it seem like a sure thing, if a bit cruel."

I point out, "Since when were we gentle?"

Stonemaul says "Seems it can be exorcised."

We can hear the curtain screaming: "Die die die!" "Save us! Save us!" "101010001010101!" "Lobster sticks to Magnet!" "Why why whhhhyyyy?"

I shrug. "Dunno, sounds like it might have something fun to say." After this falls on deaf ears, I ask, "Fine, de we have a torch?"

Stonemaul says, "The last time I did an exorcism, hmmm … oh, I remember. Yeah, you probably don't want me to do it."

Thrognar starts exorcising the curtain. He tells us that the whole deal will take three hours so please don't bother him or cast spells in his sight.

Garreth shakes off his trance and wanders up to the group, dragging Bleu with him. He also asks about plain old fire, while I tell Bleu, "Blah, bore it to death." He sits down, and he and Logan both drink from my whiskeyskin.

Polly says, "So boring … shouldn't church be over and we get doughnuts?"

I chuckle. "Dominus omnibus, succubum futuissem si remaneret."

After a few hours, an ox-sized, gray moth swoops out of the darkness on red-hued wings, leaving behind a trail of slow-falling, powdery residue. Its body is banded in red and black spirals. I point. "Hey, Polly, butterflies!"

Polly says, "Ooh, pretty butterflies!" and does not shoot. I roll my eyes. "Fuck nature." I pull out my knife, and Logan steps and growls at them. Stonemaul starts his short meditation. 

Garreth pulls out two sais and throws them at a moth. With a beautiful sparkly display the moths all dodge the sais. "They're hellmoths, clearly."

Polly asks, "Not friendly butterflies? You sure?"

I tell her, "They're not nature, so get out the bow. Nothing that big this far down is nature."

Garreth starts meditating. Stonemaul moves. Five hellmoths try to hug him with their wings, but Stonemaul steps away or parries all of them.

Polly unloads on the hellmoths, hoping to drop some before they can engage. She shoots one in the eyes, but misses the other shots. Logan steps and starts clawing at the nearest butterfly of doom, and rips it down. I step and wait for a butterfly to get to me. Garreth and Stonemaul both chop at hellmoths, killing many in a second of flurry, and the others start to fly away, now knowing that we're bad for them. Since they're demonic, we don't let them get away, and instead chop them up. I check them for poison, and find they have none, but they can blow up if we use them right. Bleu scoffs at them. "I don't recall reading about these things they must not be real."

The moth oozes on the ground after Logan ripped it to shreds. Logan keeps ripping it up, as he seems to like the taste, then brings it to Garreth between his jaws, awaiting a treat.

And time passes, then the groaning curtain seems to be resisting Thrognar's exorcism, but then, as he redoubles his efforts and call upon Justicia and Danathar, the curtain flails, writhes, howls, flops, then nothing. Thrognar now burns the curtain.

To the southeast, I remember seeing sparkly stuff there earlier. I look in the rubble, and find some coins, but they're silver-painted copper.  I look a little more, and also find some garnets and some obsidians, and some badly carved rubies that look kinda like Balfosa, but its all scattered about the rubble. I shake my fist at the heavens and after seeing the paltry treasure. "Who would do such a dastardly deed? And why?"

Thrognar nods. "The demon's depravity know no bounds."

As I shake my fist, I feel a breeze, and think that something is buried below all this rubble and junk. The thought overrides me, and I dig.

Stonemaul yells, "What are you doing?"

I call back. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

Garreth digs some free range jerky out of a belt pouch and chows down while I dig. At last, I break through. I find thin and twisty passages, and then, at the end, treasure that isn't silver-painted copper. "Garreth! We're rich! Er!" As well as coins, I find a magical dwarven shield, with sigils that say, "This shield is a gift of our forefathers and their forefathers before them, no dwarf shall fall that bears it." I also find a wooden staff that Bleu says is magic. I tell her she can use it so long as she doesn't talk about it. I also find another staff that is carved in the likeness of a great black snake.

We go beyond the horrid curtain is a short hallway that leads to a stone daïs, in the middle of which is what looks like a well. Inside, crimson runes cast a gruesome light, but we can see thirty feet down into another room beneath this one. The air above the well is amazingly hot. Stonemaul puts on his salamander amulet, and holds his arm over the well to see if it works.

F'thirya turns to Thrognar and gives him a scroll. "What's this?" he asks.

F'thirya says, "You may use this once, and once only, to call me to your side, though remember to knock out those obelisks first."

Thrognar raises his eyebrow. "Obelisks?"

I tell him, "She was blinking about those a few hours ago. Dunno what she means."

F'thirya says, "Now then, to long hath I tarried in this vile demense, e'er is time that I do press my valor against the foes of good and chaos. I have heard of one most foul, one who doth feel his station puts him above others, that he mightiest oppress the people and molest the camels. Have you  heard of Lord Flitwick?" She does not seem to find "Lord" a compliment.

Garreth and I look at each other. Garreth says, "Flitwick, yeah we ran into him once or twice," keeping a straight face.

I whistle idly, trying to look innocent. "Flitwick, eh …." I lean over to Garreth and whisper, "Man, Seep isn't gonna believe this."

F'thirya says, "His fell and odious deeds shall earn him rewards most just."

I say, "I mean, Wickprick's daughter is kinda hot …."

Stonemaul tells me, "All the more reason to dispose him. That's how fiefdoms work and all that. Of course no guarantees she does not pour poison in your ear some point after."

I chuckle. "Oh, we already took his house. Seépravir lives there now."

F'thirya asks, "His daughter also spreads the tyranny of blood? What about with camels?"

I tell her, "I dunno about her and a camel. She's kinda spoiled and all, but she's a half-elf."

F'thirya says, "Nothing wrong with half elves, lo, for the mixing of the races strives with Chaos against the tyranny of the preordained."

I grin. "Plus elf maids are hot."

Garreth nods. "He's pretty scummy." He looks straight at F'thirya. "So, do you have a way out?"

F'thirya says, "We just found one yes?"

Garreth asks, "The pit?"

Stonemaul says, "This goes out? Seems more like it heads further in, deeper."

F'thirya says, "Well, I can, I am not terribly prone to bursting into flames as a medium sized orb of Celestial Light. I do suppose it would be more problematic for those of you who need to breathe."

Stonemaul says, "Well, pit of flames aside, are you just trading one floor of the prison for another?"

Ibizaber chuckle, "She's freeing the camels."

F'thirya says, "Dost thou not think that through that gate we are free of the demonhold?" F'thirya looks very sad as a medium size orb of celestial light can look sad.

Stonemaul shrugs "I mean, I'm no wizard, not even a good cleric; practical joke from my god and all that."

Garreth asks, "You guys see any reason we shouldn't help the elf escape?"

Stonemaul says, "But end of day I'm here to break this summon trap before it causes heavy and hell to crash into this plane."

We go back to town. Garreth, Logan, and I are ready to drink and party with F'thirya, an avatar of good and chaos. After a week of this, Cillamar will be thankful that it normally only has to deal with a man, a half-orc, and a wolverine.