Saturday, July 30, 2022

Castle Whiterock log 25 July 2022: Instant sashimi

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior

What they did

Back in Cillamar, I hear tales of an aquatic gargoyle that lives on the wall, and of seakittens that can stab people at great speed. Chauntessa herds the whole group off to Whiterock while the townsfolk fix Cillamar after we spend the week there.

We go back to where we fought the eels, and check out the wall where I felt some tingling and Logan smelled something good. The wall looks like a way into tunnels. The narrow passage winds its way into the cliff side before going into a natural cavern. The walls are rough and jagged, and the uneven floor is strewn with rocks and boulders. I put on my ring and check it out. Once I walk in, I get a tingling and Logan smells something. I see a black pudding in a crag to my left attached to the ceiling waiting above the rotting corpse of an electric eel. I gather it's laying in wait for someone to come nearer so it can drop on him. Since there's no bling in sight, I step out, take off my ring, and signal "Danger" to the others.

Garreth swims to the surface of the water, and we all follow. He asks me what I saw, and I tell him about the black pudding. He asks Bleu about the black pudding, and she says, "It is akin to Inky Lord, but much smaller. They are most susceptible to cutting damage, but they are known to dissolve or stick to weapons. One suggested method is to carry a bunch of weapons so you can trade off. They have been known to collect treasure to lure prey. You can of course use bows or magic as well."

Garreth asks how smart they are. Bleu says, "Animal intelligence, like a wolf." Garreth asks if it has loot, and Bleu says, "It's possible, yes. Puddings are known to be very affectionate and quite willing to embrace people as well. The Great Naturalist Erwin Stephens did many studies of them until constant resurrections proved to exceed his grant money."

Polly says, "This is boring. We should go kill it or go past it, or kill it and go past it."

I say, "Everything Blah talks about is boring. Let's check to see if it has treasure without prodding it. If it does, we kill it. If not, we ignore it." We all agree to ignore it and go back down. 

Once down, we spot a bunch of sailfish coming out of the blabberwort forest and streaking through the water towards us. Garreth readies his trident, Thrognar focuses his chi, Logan steps and waits in the mouth of the tunnel, and I put on the ring.

The sailfish charge at us. One fish comes towards me and I stab it in the eyes, killing it. Four of them miss Garreth, of which one also misses me and Thrognar parries it. Then another two charge Garreth, missing him, and one also goes past Polly. Polly gets out of the way of another fish, while one almost hits me were it not for the dwarven beer can that hits its tusk first.

Polly pulls out her rapier and waits. Garreth grumbles and steps, dropping the trident and fast drawing Scalemar. Then he focuses, getting his sword to cast Great Haste on him. I step into the tunnel and start putting on my ring again. Logan waits for a fish to come into reach. Thrognar steps and waits for a fish to come near. One does, and Thrognar swings twice. His blade parts the sailfish like the Red Sea, half a fish fillet on each side. Polly cleaves a skull in with her rapier. A sailfish swims at Bleu, but Garreth gets his sword in the way. Another one goes for Polly, but Garreth parries that one, too, and parries the next one that tries the same to Polly as well. Thrognar parries one coming towards him, while Logan tries to gouge out the eyes of a sailfish going for him. Another fish goes for Polly, but she dodges, while Garreth has to parry a fish that goes after him. A last fish misses Garreth wholly.

Polly hits the confused fish in the skull, splitting it open, then steps. Garreth chops up five fish, making instant sashimi in a second.

Game log 17 July 2022: Who are you?

Personae dramatis

Tulip, elf bard
Grignok, orc druid
Felcanis, elf cleric
Honsou, larcenous bowman

Quid occurrit

They search the old bedroom, but find nothing. Felcanis casts Stop Bleeding on Mēnévē, Grignok, and herself, then Grignok turns Mēnévē into a tree with Plant Form Other and heals her with Heal Plant. "Piddy iddin hep wid my doze," says Mēnévē. They hole up there and rest for 10 hours, with Grignok casting Mystic Mist and Felcanis casting Watchdog. Grignok also turns Felcanis into a tree with Plant Form Other, casts Heal Plant to heal her, then turns her back so she can cast Major Healing on Grignok and Minor Healing on Honsou.

They go back to the hallway, and wind their way to the stairs up a level. From there, they walk past the stairs and the stub of the rope pointing upwards, through the door, past a broken holy symbol of Saundīvós, to the edge of the water. Honsou pulls out some rope and Grignok casts Body of Slime on himself and goes into the water, pulling the rope behind him. He goes into the flooded room to his right and sees the hole. In the hole, he finds a jar, which he takes and brings back to the others. They open it and find a bunch of coins.

Grignok goes back into the water. He goes farther inward then sees a hallway going left, which he takes. After a short jaunt through an empty room and some twists, he makes it into the big cavern, and sees a landing to his left. On the landing is a slim man in leather armor, with a broadsword at his side. The man peers at Grignok's slimy body. "What are you?"

Grignok asks him, "Who are you?"

The man sizes up Grignok. "My name is unimportant." Grignok puffs out his chest and asks why is whatever he his important. "You have no weapon. I've seen so many creatures of the water down here, but I've never seen one like you. Quit wasting my time and go away."

The man says nothing more although Grignok keeps trying to chat him up. So Grignok casts Lightning and slaps him in the back. This shocks him and makes him fall. Grignok tries to grab his sword but cannot, so the man jumps up. Grignok grabs him, and he wiggles away, "Go away, slimy cheater!"
Grignok gets a better grip. "I just wanted to talk! You had to be mean, like all the others. Now we're gonna hug it out."

The man cannot get out of his grasp. "What do you want to talk about, monster?"
Grignok asks, "What's your name?"

The man thinks, then shakes his head. "I don't remember anymore. It has been too long." Grignok asks why he's there, and he says, "To kill fight the best and kill cheaters." He asks Grignok to let him go, and instead Grignok squeezes tighter, cracking his ribs, and the man passes out. Grignok grabs his sword, and it burns his body.

After about five minutes since the last time everyone saw him, Grignok comes back, holding a sword. Grignok tosses the sword down. "Look what I found." Felcanis picks up the sword. It doesn't hurt her, and she puts it on the mule. 

Grignok casts Heal Plant on himself. After this, he rests for awhile, then casts Body of Slime again to go back in the water to check out the last bend past the first two happways. He takes the bend going right, then swims a little farther into a room. In there are two bunk beds nailed to the floor, made of a crude iron for some reason, thus rusting. He goes out, and goes right around the corner, which itself is a small room. There he sees old racks for scrolls in that bend, but doesn't check them out.

After turning right, he goes towards the room at the end of the hall, and sees some movement straight ahead. He sees there are two giant piranhas, but they swim past him since he's a plant. He gives a piranha a pat, and the piranha wiggles past the pond scum touching it. He goes into the room and checks out a marble pillar there. The piranhas swim in their room, waiting for more flesh.

Grignok goes back to room at the corner. There is an old wardrobe, the wood oddly not rotten. He opens the wardrobe, and finds himself in a thicket outdoors, among the rotten and withered trees from the area outside the keep. He casts Mystic Mist around himself and rests up for almost an hour. Once rested, he casts Shapeshifting on himself and turns into a panther.

Felcanis grows concerned about Grignok, so she leads the group out of the dungeon. They get out, and it's about midnight. No patrols outside that they can see. After about an hour for Felcanis and the party after leaving the dungeon or 90 minutes for Grignok after teleporting out, the group and the panther run into each other. Felcanis sets up camp.

Monday, July 25, 2022

Castle Whiterock Log 18 July 2022: Totally drained

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior

What they did

Logan upon smelling good food moves in on the wrecked tower, and clouds of giant eels rise up from the rubble. He bites an eel and eats it. Logan holds the eel body in his mouth, dangling limply. I turn, step, and stab another eel in the head, felling it in one stroke. Garreth focuses inward, bringing out the inner speed.

Bleu steps and looks at the eels. "Ah, these are Gymnotidae Electrophorus, also known as electric eels. They use an electric discharge to stun or kill prey, live in freshwater habitats, and particularly enjoy eating people in metal armor. Jellied eels are a particular delicacy in Elven culture, and the smaller eels work well when baked in pies. The larger specimens are also known to grapple their prey. They are known to be particularly susceptible to heavily armored clerics with Resist Lightning, as the eels love metal armored targets and will often target them. Not that elves make a habit of attacking them, as they are natural creatures. However, their habit of hiding in small places and trying to eat people has been known to lead to unfortunate conflicts."

Polly says, "I really wish I had my bow." She pulls out her rapier, then rushes over to a big eel, hitting it twice and killing it with the second blow. An eel swims up to Garreth, then nips at him, shocking him and stunning him. Two other ones do the same to Logan and me, but we shun the shock. Swarms of little eels go around us, trying to shock us, but hardly arousing a tickle.

Logan chomps on the swarming little eels around him. I stab the big eel near me in the brain before swatting my knife at a few little ones. Garreth snaps aware, kills a big eel, and wounds another. Bleu casts Resist Lightning on Garreth, and Polly swings at the swarms near her. A big eel swims towards Garreth and lets out a shock, but it does nothing to him. The swarms around Logan, Polly, and me all let out more shock, and this time it hurts Polly and me.

Polly, Logan, and I fight through our pain and chop up little eels, while Garreth gets a big one before chopping baby eels as well. A big one swims up to Logan and tries to shock him, but doesn't hurt him, while another comes up and zaps me. However, the little ones shock the hell out of Polly, Logan, and me.

Logan munches down some of the swarm, while I pull out my potion of great healing and chug it. Garreth chops up a big one, and Polly fights through her pain and chops up a swarm. Bleu swims towards her. The big eels turn and look like they're gathering power. The swarms zap Logan, Polly, and me, but we all chop back.

Garreth kills two more big ones near me, and Bleu swims towards me. A big eel swims up to me and gives me a zap, but I stay up. Swarms swim up to Polly, Logan, and me and shock us. This doesn't bother Logan much and he munches through the eels, while Polly and I also chop back. It hurts, but then I feel Bleu's hand cast Resist Lightning on me, letting me watch Garreth chop up another big one.

The swarms zap Garreth, Polly, and me, but none of it hurts us now. I chop up some baby ones, and Logan pounces on a big one's skull, ripping out its brain and lapping it up with a big lick. Garreth and Polly chop up the last baby eels near them, while Garreth and I easily handle the last ones.

We drink from the bag of healing, then I search the rocks. In them, I find a bunch of coins, some wrecked armor, and a suit of blue plate armor with a seashell-like design and fine mail webbing on the sollerets and gauntlets. Linked to this suit by a silver lanyard is a golden trident. They are magical, needless to say. To top off our funds Polly gathers up a bunch of eel skins to sell to make elven eel pies. Then we go back to town, our bag of healing drained.

Sunday, July 17, 2022

Castle Whiterock log 11 July 2022: Eely annoying

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior

What they did

In town, Thrognar fills up his emergency major healing potion and goes to the town orphanage and drops off 9,000 copper farthings. This makes the orphans happy. Afterwards, he and Garreth take the blabberwort to Quintus. Quintus claps his hands and smiles widely once he sees the blabberwort. "Ah! Splendid! Blabberwort! Come back in a while and I will have the herbicide for you. It is too bad Stonemaul is not here. Dwarven hatred works well in herbicide."

Garreth blinks. "I got plenty of hatred right here."

Quintus says, "Well, think hateful thoughts while crouching down really low." Garreth growls low and angry and sees swirling images of the hydra melting and dissolving in the brew.  Quintus pats him on the back. "That's the spirit!" Then, he moves carefully away from Garreth. "Try thinking about plants, not just the hydra." Garreth thinks about that hydra then pushes his hatred towards the mana-eating plants in his memory. 

He stays that way for a couple days beside the cauldron before wandering off to get riotously drunk and wrestle with Logan. Then he sleeps for the rest of the week, waking only to eat.

I spend the week hiding out, drinking in the gutter. After a few days, the bar owners are putting up missing persons posters. I see my face drawn on a pitcher of milk, and then find the artist and bid him to do a better job. The artist says, "I'm sorry Zaber, but the best artist in town, Lord Flitwick, has gone missing." So I draw a crude camel on the milk jug, and label it, "Wickprick." After a few hours I hear hearsay that I'll turn into a camel if I ever sober up.

I go looking for Seépravir to find out where Flitwick is, or if she has a spell that can help me get Flitwick's daughter into bed. Seep is busy ascending to a higher plane of consciousness, so I just get plastered instead, dance in my underwear at the bar, and sleep with a barmaid. The barmaid looks much less like an elf princess when I wake up, so I shudder. "Happens every time."

Sometime later as the sun beams down Chauntessa comes up to me. "I think that's enough antics for this week, Zaber. It's the weekend and time for you to get Garreth and your other friends and head back to Whiterock. My staff might work themselves to death if you stayed around over the weekend."

I ask her, "Can you get me my clothes? Your barmaid stole them." I run outside in my undergarments to everyone's laughter, and Chauntessa announces a scavenger hunt to find my clothes. Folks find my clothes over half the town over the next few hours, while I gather with Thrognar and Garreth at the Slumbering Drake. "I really should settle down and get drunk with the same woman every night. Avoid surprises for what awaits me when I wake."

Chauntessa laughs. "If you drank with the same girl every night they'd die of alcohol poisoning, it's going to be days before my barmaid dries out enough to work." I point out that none of the other patrons drink enough to sleep with her, so she should be safe. Garreth says I should hook up with a half-orc woman, and Thrognar says I should pick a dwarf woman. Neither seem right. "I'd toss the dwarf woman. The half-orc woman would toss me."

We drag Logan out of the pantry of the Slumbering Drake, and Chauntessa has folks find Polly and bring her back. With them together, we set forth for the lake again. Garreth leads us back to the room where we fought the eel and merrow. 

In the room, we find a ratty old giant clam shell against the wall. When we move it, we find a small alcove. I look a little more, and inside we find an eelskin pouch, a metal rod about two feet long with many dents in it, a flash, and a bunch of big fish jaws. I look at the rod for a moment, and realize this isn't the fabled Rod of the Hedgehog. I hand it to Bleu, who takes it and hands it to Garreth.

Garreth taps the rod against a nearby wall then swings it around. It's kind of graceful as a mace, but not as a two-handed sword. Then he holds it up against the clamshell and the dents match the clamshell. "This was used to pry and prop open dire clams. Let's keep an eye out for more clams. You wouldn't keep a tool like this around unless you had a purpose." He slides the rod into the Bag of Holding.

I ask Blah if any of this is magical, and she says it isn't. I look in the pouch and find a bunch of big pearls: white, smokey, and black. I also find a small pouch holding some smooth pebbles. Garreth says that you'd use the pebbles to start clams in growing pearls.

I also notice a twisty small passage wending its way into the rubble that the eel was hiding in. Garreth, Logan, and I squeeze in while Thrognar keeps watch at the entrance. After I walk a few feet, I feel the hair on the back of my head stand up. I look around me, as well as above and below. Up ahead I spot the flickering bodies of many baby eels. Beyond them I notice a scroll case with green gems glinting off it. The eels look at me with open mouths, like they haven't been fed in a week. Logan looks back at the eels, also thinking they are tasty.

I hide, and the eels start to back off. Logan runs forward and eats the eels with a minimal shock. The tunnel is a place of carnage, blood, and dismembered floating bits of electric eel misery. I grab the scroll case, slimy with eel bits. It is pewter-worked with emeralds.

We get out and I show the scroll case to Blah, who tells me that it is a Scroll Case of Power that grants three energy for casting scrolls left in it overnight and holds ten scrolls. I sarcastically say that it sounds exciting, which makes Bleu almost excited. She helpfully tells me all about the Power spell, which is related to Recover Energy. I pretend to listen, and nod.

We go north past the hydra lair and find a pile of rubble that seems like it might have once been a tower. We see the sweeping wall heading off to the West and check it out. We keep going west, and it bends a little to the southwest, and see the back door to the room where we drank in the bubbles.

Not far past the back door, we find a hunk of the wall that has fallen into a pile of shifting white rock rubble. The barren landscape is pockmarked by clumps of plant growth here and there, and swarms of tiny fish dart in and out of the rocky crevices.

I don't see anything hazardous, but feel tingly. I check things out, usual full circle and above/below look. I circle around, hey, there are more interesting rocks over there too, around the corner. I move more warily towards there. I check the currents … something has me on edge

I have Logan smell, and he gets excited. I slip towards the bend, and let Logan swim to eat whatever it is in the pile of rocks.

Monday, July 11, 2022

Castle Whiterock 27 June 2022: In the colony of Slippermen

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior
(Stonemaul, half-orc holy warrior)

What they did

I belch. "Hey, let's get that blabbermouth stuff for Quint!" The Aquan potion still is working, so everyone understands me.

Thrognar says, "Agreed. Where was the blabberwort again?" Polly and I both point him towards the blabberworts. "Then let's be off. Thank you for your hospitality, pixies."

Caendril yells at him, "NIXIES!"

Thrognar blushes. "Sorry, a vocal typo."

Garreth nods. "We'll see you again!"

We walk over to the blabberwort stocks. Garreth tells Thrognar that the plant is hostile, but Polly says, "It was just hungry and thought we were delicious. Probably." I slip between the blabberwort plants and use my knife to harvest seven fronds oozing with acidic goodness.

We go back towards the nixen lair, but veer left. We think we see a secret door in the wall. Bleu gets a good look. "As you can see, the sedimentation pattern here shows that this has undergone gradual buildup over the course of … " So on, so forth, "… that area however has been disturbed by actual hands to conceal an entrance in the otherwise natural rock formation."

Garreth says, "So that means a secret door?

Thrognar asks him, "Does she always go on like this?"

Garreth shrugs. "I hired her for water breathing and flight and stuff. Brevity wasn't a required qualification. She's great at what she does."

Bleu keeps babbling. "From the indentations you can see it clearly also houses spear traps. The spear traps appear to be a design of class 7 spears often associated with ogres." Bleu lectures us about ogre spear designs of the past several centuries.

I tell her the truth: "I like you better when you don't talk, Bleu." I go up to the door and disarm its trap.

Thrognar asks, "Shall we see what's hidden behind the door?"

Polly looks at me. "Sure! Maybe there's orks."

I give Polly a shit-eating grin and open the door.

It is hard to see how high the ceiling is in this big room, as there are many nets are strung up along most of it, as well dangling from an archway. The nets are clogged with brown and green bits of algae. Ahead of us there is a pile of jagged rocks in what looks to have been more of the room. Along the righthand wall is a big pile of dead plants and soft tufts of bright green algae.

Garreth hypnotizes himself.  I go in and start swim upwards to check out the nets, but I spot a 20-foot-long eel ahead. I flip it off to see if it understands or even sees, more to the point. The hair on the back of my head stands on end, so I go no farther towards it.

The eel looks at me and sparks. "Funny, I didn't know it knew body Common!" We all pull out our weapons, and it sparks more. I keep feeling tingling, so I hold up my hand to hold everyone back, and wait for it to come to us. Thrognar steps and summons godly might.

I feel something coil about snugly from behind and grapple me. The great fishy beast coiling around me hacks at Logan with its halberd, but he gets out of the way. It also swings at Bleu, but she Blinks away, and Logan steps away from the rest of its blows. The eel swims up and lets out an electric shock, wounding all of us, and stunning Garreth and Logan, though Garreth snaps back fast.

Polly readies her buckler and new rapier and swims in reach of the eel. I try to cut the merrow but cannot hurt it through the pain. Thrognar stabs the eel in the eye, killing it, and gets his sword out before it gives off a dying shock. It shocks the rest of us, leaving Polly and me stunned as well as Logan.

The merrow hurls me at Thrognar. Thrognar drops his sword, reaches out, and grabs me, twisting in the water to stall the momentum. I am a bit dizzy and fall from his grip. It then swims forward swiftly, grabs Logan with its tail, and slashes at Polly four times with its halberd. It looks like she's dead but somehow is still standing.

Garreth slashes at the merrow and Bleu casts Great Haste on him. His second blow hits, knocking it out. Polly snaps awake and kills it before it can wake.

We heal up. Garreth pulls out the bag of healing potions, and Thrognar drinks a potion of Major Healing. After about twenty swigs between us, we're all healed.

Garreth asks Bleu, "What is that thing that attacked us? Is it worth talking to?"

Bleu tells Garreth, "It is a Merrow, a type of Sea Ogre. Normally they are extremely dumb, however according to Von Hofflestein's Postulate only the dumb ones are observed as intelligent ones stay away from civilization and adventuring parties. According to the Magnimus Cranius, Magnimus Brainius Law it may be intelligent, like a dragon, however, some arguments hold this is not true, as ogres and minotaurs are less sagacious. We could extract its brain and unfold it to see, a more wrinkled brain encodes more information by the Dwarven Engraving Movement."

I poke Logan and whisper in his ear, then he goes up to Bleu and licks her face again and again. She at last gets that Logan is licking her and looks at me. "Why is your mustelid licking my face?"

I tell her the truth. "Because I think it's funny."

Bleu says, "Please, this is a serious delve"

Garreth blinks at Bleu as Logan licks her face again. "What made you think that? You're in a dungeon with a drunken master and a wolverine."

I add, "And a master drunk."

Polly adds, "And an elven archer!"

Bleu helpfully gives examples of Delving Law, going back to the 74th Legislature of Mondrian.

I ask the others if they want him to stop. They don't say anything, so I laugh until I am bored, then I wave at Logan to stop.

Thrognar asks Bleu if if anything of the eel is worth something. Bleu says, "You can attempt to harvest the electric organs. They can be sold or used to fashion lightning javelins or the like." I take a look at the merrow body, and I find that it's wearing eelskin armor and a shiny silver ring. I beckon Bleu over and she says that those are magical, as well as the dueling halberd it wielded, made from hydra fangs. Carved into the halberd are some words in Dwarven, which I read:

"To my friend and supplier Trosk -Impresario
"May yours nets prove ever bountiful"

I shrug. "Mistah Trosk, he dead." We go back to Cillamar to get Polly's Bless renewed.

Monday, June 27, 2022

Castle Whiterock 13 June 2022: Carry On Nixen

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior
Stonemaul, half-orc holy warrior

What they did

I point out the urchins. Garreth eyes them and Logan growls at them, and bubbles come out of his mouth. 

Since everyone agrees, I pull out my knife and slash the urchin twice, wounding it. It sticks its spikes back at me but misses. Logan bites twice at an urchin, but his bites cannot get through the stout carapace. Its spines miss him, then he sticks his claws in the gaps in its carapace, and wounds it. Thrognar runs at an urchin with his Seraphic Lance and hurts it. Polly moves into range. Garreth whips out Scalemar and concentrates. Stonemaul shows up as the urchins try to shove their spines in the rest of us but miss. He charges into an urchin with his shield then chops it with his katana, and gets away from its spines.

Again, I cut the urchin nearest me, again wounding it, and again getting away from its spines. Logan shoves his claws into the carapace, trying to get what he thinks has to taste good, and wounds it and gets away from the spines. Thrognar drops his lance, pulls out his greatsword, and chops an urchin to bits. Polly likewise pulls out her rapier and chops up an urchin, even getting a slice at another one nearby when she fells the first one. The urchins shove their spines into us, not only missing, but the one on me falls onto my knife, dying. "And, ah, let that be a lesson to you, you spiny squishy thing!" Garreth whacks it with Scalemar, but takes a spine back. The poison runs through his blood and … does nothing, since he's Garreth. Stonemaul kills an urchin with his katana.

I turn to another urchin and cut it up, while Logan fights to get to eat his lunch. Thrognar stuns the urchin near him with his blows, and Polly kills an urchin. At last, Logan gets a moment and pulls open the urchin, and eats its yummy innards.

I step inside the tower, and the others follow. Through the gloom of the darkness at least half a dozen swimming humanoids come out. Each levels a loaded crossbow not quite toward your group and waits. The six-inch-tall humanoids have delicate scales and flowing long hair that sometimes betrays elven-like ears. Each wears a simple loincloth and vest and carries a shortsword at his or her side. As they drift closer, a muscular nix comes nearer, wearing mail armor made of interlocking shells.

Garreth raises his hand and waves, then says in Aquan, "Glug!" After a few glugs back and forth, the nixen swim towards us with vials. Garreth says these these potions will let us speak Aquan, so we glug the potion of glug. The nix, named Caendril, then lets us inside. The nixen gather the shells of the urchins and feed them to us, and bring out some Kelpenbrau, which are a big bubbles of alcohol in which you float, drinking the booze around you. 

As I float in the bubble, Garreth sings for the nixen, and Logan harmonizes. After a rousing concert, the nixen ask us to hand over our missile weapons to bless them. I hand over my crossbow, as does everyone else, though Polly balks a little at handing over her bow. Then, we promise to come back in a week to get our weapons, bring snacks, and have Garreth and Logan sing again. They also give Garreth a counter to the urchin poison, though it hasn't hurt him much as it is.

Sunday, June 5, 2022

Castle Whiterock 23 May 2022: We all babble on

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior
(Stonemaul, half-orc holy warrior)

What they did

We take Bleu to the Temple of Ildavir to bring her back to life. There, we meet Elias, who greets us. "I wish I could have joined you for the flailing but I have been so busy here at the temple." He takes a look at Bleu's body. "Ah! The spirit has fled the body, may Ildavir bless her soul! But is not completely fled. Please insert 14,000 copper into yon donation box before she arrives at the Great Tree in the Sky." Garreth dutifully counts out coins. Eli yells, "Flailings!" and waves his flail vigorously. It has Flaming Weapon on it. Acolytes hurry to move flammable relics away from him. "Where's evil?"

Garreth and I start drinking the sacramental wine, and Garreth gives Elias a swig of whatever he carries from his hip flask. Elias drinks long enough to stop swinging his flail, then starts the ceremony:

"Sword Cut, spear stab, mace smash, arrow jab,
"Let the white light of healing descend on thee.
"Let the white light of healing stop thy spilling blood.
"Let the white light of healing mend thy bones.
"Let the white light of healing close thy wounds.
"Let the white light of healing restore thy vigor.
"The white light of healing hath resurrected thee.”

Eli flails the flaming flail around over Bleu and has an acolyte splash her with sacred wine which roars to flame as it hits the flail, and in a great cascade of flames Bleu is now in one piece again.

Meanwhile, I'm smoking the incense. After coughing from my first incense joint, I find a less harsh incense, then see that I look around for more sacred wines. "Why do folks suddenly have less booze when we're around?"

Garreth watches for signs of life. Bleu's eyes flutter open. "Oh, am I alive again? Oh, yes, I am fine."

Garreth gently touches her hand. "You gonna make it, little lady? Sorry about that. We got the hydra, but things were touch and go for a while."

I come over to the ceremony, big blunt of the temple's finest incense in one hand and a bottle of sacramental wine in the other, and ask Bleu, "So, ah, Bleu, what did you see before you woke up?"

Thrognar wanders over and asks, "Yes, what was waiting for you?"

Bleu says, "I was counting leaves of the Great Tree and making notes on how many and what colors."

Garreth asks, "So, was that paradise or punishment?"

Bleu says, "It was restful."

Garreth says, "The Tree will still be there next time. For now, there's more loot to get."

I am about to ask about the leaves of the Great Tree, but realize that Bleu will never shut up about them, so I stop. I'm not that drunk or stoned. Then I see Logan rooting around in a coffin. "Logan, get out of that! Sorry, I'm sure the deceased's family will understand that wolverines do that while looking for food."

Eli says, "Uhm, please have your mustelid put the limb of the deceased back." Logan puts back the arm.

An acolyte brings sawdust cookies and says, "Body of the Great Tree." Logan leans up and eats a bunch right off the platter. I try one; they taste like sawdust but are high in fiber. Logan doesn't care.

This delights Elias. "Ah! The Mustelid is a true believer! We must have more sawdust cookies!" He leaves.

The acolyte says, "Oh no, last time Father Eli went to the Reliquary of Sawdust there was—" BOOOOM!

Garreth shrugs. He calmly takes out some free range organic goat jerky (extra chewy) and starts chewing. The acolyte, now worried, says, "Oh no, we will need to close the temple for repairs. Perhaps you gentlemen, gentleladies, and um, gentlemustelid would care to visit some other time?"

I belch. "Yeah, I just drank the last of your sacramental wine, so we totally need to move on."

The acolyte's face falls farther. "Oh no, we must brew more sap wine." His green hair seems to be prematurely greying as he talks.

Garreth wanders out chewing goat jerky. I look around as I walk out. "Wow, this is starting to resemble the last bar we were at. You should open it up for happy hour more often." Logan follows Garreth, who has the jerky, and we can hear the acolyte weeping in despair behind us. I tell Polly, "Y'know, Polly, if more churches had happy hour, I'd go to church more!" Garreth burps, releasing a hellacious mix of Sriracha Goat jerky and rotgut liquor.

Logan nudges Garreth's hand, looking up at him for food. Garreth eyes the wolverine. "Is he safe to eat sriracha?"

I say, "Aw, you know him. He'll eat shit on rubber." Garreth tears off a hunk and drops it to the wolverine. Logan eats up the jerky, oblivious to the spiciness, and looks up at Garreth again.

Quintus dodders over, "There you are! Have you found the Bladderwort?"

Garreth says, "Oh, we saw it, I think, but there were sharks, and a Hydra and …. It's been a mess. One thing lead to another and bam! We're in the temple drinking booze and paying for resurrections."

Quintus says, "I can't finish up your herbicide without it, though goodness knows where I'll find the time with Lyssa done being all independent."

I ask, "Wait, why were we in the temple when we could have gone to one of the taverns?"

Polly says, "We were visiting Eli I think and Thrognar had to use the Sun Box."

I say, "Oh, yeah, that's right, the temple had happy hour."

Garreth says, "And barkeeps can't cast resurrection … yet."

Quintus asks, "Happy Hour at the Temple of Ildavir?"

Garreth asks, "Did you know they keep wine in there?"

I say, "They kept wine, yes. But they chased us out. Eli blew up something while making cookies."

Quintus nods. "That Eli was inordinately fond of Flaming Weapon."

Thrognar says, "Yes, very rude of them. We didn't blow anything up."

Quintus chuckles. "Sure, you didn't blow anything up. Why, just last week at the Slumbering Drake I heard a rumor that a vampire named Ivy kept claiming she didn't blow anything up!"

I ask, "Did she blow up anything?"

Quintus grins, "Probably. If she didn't blow anything up why would she claim she didn't? Not that I ever talked to her myself."

I say, "Well, we didn't blow up anything yet, but we've only been back a few hours." I think for a moment, then remember something. "Hey, wait, Quintus, did you know we saw some of that bladderwort stuff down in the lake?"

Garreth asks, "Wait, they had a vampire in the Drake?" He looks at the sword on his back. "Does consorting with vampires make a dragon evil?"

Quintus says, "Aren't most dragons evil? I suppose it depends on the dragon and the vampire."

I say, "The ones with long-lost vintages definitely are. Hey, wait, wasn't there something about a vampire?"

Bleu starts babbling about Veil theory, which this vampire allegedly wrote. It seems to be kind of like describing blades of grass on both sides of your neighbors fence, except none of them are actually greener. I say, "Y'know, she had more interesting stories to tell until we brought her to the bar for Eli."

After some more chatter about dragons, evil, apprentices, resurrection, herbicide, weeds, and moral relativism, we get ready to set forth for the lake. I let Garreth know that he has to dress up for the nixen, so he gets into into his courtly getup from the last time he performed, and loads his armor into the bag of holding.

I try to figure out Bleu's Veil theory. It seems to be that there are the normal things you see, and then there are the things like werewolves, succubi and vampires that hide among people, unseen, and eat them. "Y'know, Bleu, you look way hotter when you're not talking, right?" Bleu helpfully talks about many theories of physical and mental attraction, like Von Hollinger's Twelfth Axiom of Mutual Incompatibility, and something about putting fruit flies into jars. I facepalm.

So, we set forth for the lake, and when we get there, Garreth puts on the Aquan ring, and we go back into the underwater arena. There, a 15-foot-wide fallen swath of wall leads into the inky darkness of the tower. A thick carpet of brown-green algae clings to the walls, hanging over the opening. There is a little light, but its nearer to nothing than something.

I go first because I know the nixen will be thrilled to see me. When I step forth, I see a bunch of big spiky things hiding among the algae. They look like the big spiky things that shot holes in the skiffs earlier. Logan sniffs to see if he can eat them, and I wave to everyone that we might have a problem.

Garreth calls out in Aquan, "Glurgle gurgle glug glug."

A nixie says back in Aquan, "Glug glug gurgle gurgle."

Garreth shrugs and draws Scalemar.

Sunday, May 22, 2022

GURPS Challenges

 I have an idea for a third volume of the GURPS Basic Set. In the great love of the letter "C," which I suss out from "Characters," "Campaigns," "Compendium," and "Charles," I call this GURPS Challenges.

What is a challenge? Well, it's an hurdle that the PCs must overcome. The most common challenge is a monster or alien of other bad guy whom the PCs must kill, but so is getting into the Eyes Wide Shut-style orgy where the crime boss will be. Getting past a locked door is a challenge. Traps are challenges. Keeping away from an avalanche is a challenge. Getting through a bad flu when you have to fight a fleshy-headed mutant in the Forbidden Zone is a challenge. (I recommend beer for the last one.)

The idea for this book is a mash-up of many ideas. In a way, this is the GURPS Compendium for 4e. It has been 17 years since 4e came out; Steve Jackson Games can breech "no Compendia for 4e," as it was 18 years from the release of 1e to the release of 4e. There's no 5e in the near-future; this is how we can patch these holes. A few chapters are things that come wholesale from other GURPS books and should be in the Basic Set.

Second is the idea that "GURPS needs a monster manual." There are problems with this since GURPS is generic and, as Kromm has said, it's more like Fudge than like D&D, but a little less meta than Fudge. However, there is a need of "things to kill." Savage Worlds, also a generic system, does a much better job of choosing these for its core book, and gave over about the same amount of space to it in the Adventure Edition is GURPS gave in the Basic Set. There's no space wasted on deer, four bears, and nine equines, but instead there are ogres, soldiers, giant worms, mechs, alligators, zombies, and more. Those are going to be used more than the extra ursines and equines or any deer. Gaming Ballistic had a big Kickstarter on a Bestiary. Folks like challenges.

So, what goes into this? First thing is that there needs to be a list of what genres this will address. I'd start with the worked example lines: ActionAfter the EndDungeon FantasyMonster Hunters. Add to those the the published settings for Fourth Edition: BanestormDiscworldGirl GeniusInfinite WorldsPrime Directive (or a generic Star Trek-ish setting), Reign of SteelTranshuman SpaceTraveller. Throw in a few common other genres: Cowboys, Cyberpunk, Eldritch Horror, Ninjas, Pirates, Superheroes, World War 2. For each setting, there will need to be at least one of each challenge. Many will bleed over from setting to setting, and others will be generic; an illness for a bunch of cowboys is going to be something like tetanus, which is going to be handy in many settings since it's a real-world illness. The reason for making challenges for specific genres is to make sure you have many bases covered in terms of point level, Tech Level, magic level, superpower level, and so on, but the less genre-specific you can make that challenge, the better.

What are challenges? Well, let's abstract what the tasks are for roleplaying games. As I see them, these are the most common abstract tasks:
  1. How do I hurt someone or something?
  2. How do I (or someone else or something) avoid getting hurt?
  3. How do I heal damage?
  4. How do I convince someone to do or believe something?
  5. How do I keep someone from convincing me?
  6. How do I hide someone or something?
  7. How do I find someone or something hidden?
  8. How do I move someone or something?
  9. How do I keep someone or something for moving?
Some of these map up well to GURPS books. The first two are in GURPS Martial Arts; the fourth and fifth ones are for GURPS Social Engineering. You can come up with other GURPS books in the idea of addressing some of these; a putative GURPS Medicine would bring all the many healing rules (and add more illnesses) into one book, while the last four items could be something like GURPS Thievery. Moving also is related to a GURPS Vehicles; any of these pertaining to animals and plants would be rules for a  GURPS Bestiary.

Anyways, what do these mean in game terms? What goes in this book? First off is a bestiary, or a bunch of foes who can cause pain (addressing the first two meta-tasks). I’d start with three foes—fodder, worthy, boss—for each campaign idea. After making these foes, there would be notes for how to handle these in other campaigns. This might mean shaving off a trait to make it more portable; it might mean having a note for how a dragon will work in a world of ray guns. (This is the premise for Rifts.) A comic book supervillain could get tweaks to work as a fantasy wizard; a samurai with a laser sword is—well, you know that one. Add some more thoroughly generic foes, like giant Venus flytraps or giant spiders for the third act, and you have examples of how GURPS can have versatile but ready-to-use foes. Ideally, many of these would be utterly divorced than the inspiring campaign idea. (Chaosium's Basic Roleplaying has a reasonably good list.)

To add to these foes, add ways to modify them. Racial templates. Mutations. Prefixes (like in GURPS Dungeon Fantasy Monsters 1). Much of the genre-specific nature of these should be left out to allow for space elves and wild west greys.

Beyond these foes meant for combat, there could be a bunch of adversaries for social situations. I’m  talking about snobby gatekeepers, stingy merchants, crooked gamblers, desperate pickpockets, rival politicians. Folks you’re not planning on having to fight but who have something you want. (They’d have enough stats for a fight, much as the fighting foes would have enough stats to handle requests to step aside. Nothing too dramatic, however.) Again, make them more generic so you can use them across many campaigns. In many ways, the foes themselves are an excuse to introduce how to handle a social situation with GURPS mechanics. The NPCs aren't as important as the situations they'll key, but some of their traits will be relevant. Go through GURPS Social Engineering to find the general situations: haggling, debate, trial (and a quick legal system for punishments), asking for information, that kind of stuff. Thinking about it, it might be better to have situations, with NPCs incidental.

Some systems for challenges can come from published works. One is traps from Dungeon Fantasy. Not only can there be traps for fantasy thieves to disable, there can be ones for spaceport rabble, for soldiers on the Italian Front, for infiltrating a hostile computer system. (When you get down to it, a program looking for intruders is a trap. You can extend the trap paradigm over many instances.) As before, make one trap for each sample campaign, make it more generic, and add some truly generic traps, like the wilderness traps in GURPS Dungeon Fantasy 16: Wilderness Adventures.

A challenge mostly left out in GURPS is illness. (Which is why I tried getting a Pyramid article on it published, but I digress.) There are rules for illnesses in GURPS Basic Set Campaigns (and in DFRPG Exploits), but no samples given. So, like traps and foes, make one for each campaign, then some basic real-world ones. These need to be curated so that they’re game-relevant. There are a bunch in GURPS Compendium II for 3e, but some of these are too long-term for most games. (Leprosy in particular can fall off.) GURPS Bio-Tech likewise has a few; these are better examples, though there is need of some more mundane illnesses as well as fantastic ones.

I mentioned GURPS Dungeon Fantasy 16: Wilderness Adventures above. The hazards it has for outdoor threats could be extended to other threats. A whole bunch of GURPS Action 5: Dictionary of Danger are hazards like these as well, and they’re generic and work in many settings. Much of GURPS Action 5: Dictionary of Danger would work as battlefield hurdles as well.

There are a few things that have come up in other GURPS books over the years that are generic and thus belong in something like a Compendium (but isn't wholly one). I'll once again talk about GURPS Dungeon Fantasy 16: Wilderness Adventures and also throw in GURPS After the End 2: The New World since both have rules for outdoor adventures (and both are among my favorite GURPS supplements, much as GURPS Action 5: Dictionary of Danger is). Those need to be in the Basic Set, so they'll wind up here. You can borrow some of GURPS Underground Adventures, "GURPS Fathom Five" from Pyramid #3/26: Underwater Adventures, and GURPS Action 9: The City; the point is to have many adventuring environments covered.

Beyond the adventuring environment, the expanded surprise rules from DFRPG were in How to Be a GURPS GM: Combat Encounters, so they'll have to be in here, too. (And can there be a bit about random starting distances for encounters?) GURPS Action 2: Exploits has rules for chases. These likewise could be made more generic and address getting away from anything and be here. (Aside: why is the interval for HT checks when running 15 seconds? That doesn't sound bad in of itself, but when you're dealing with seeing how much ground was covered, you're multiplying Move by 15, which is annoying. Why not make this 10 seconds instead? Even 20 seconds would be better. Unify all this, please. This is like hot dogs coming in packs of 12 but hot dog buns coming in packs of 10.)

One last thing I'll throw in as a thing to have here are scenario structures. How do you handle crawling in GURPS: dungeon crawls, hex crawls, urban crawls? How about mysteries? Heists? Raids? Races? Investigations? Traveller-like exploration? This is something that GURPS has lacked, like many other games as of late, which often forces things into a railroad, which is never a good game outside of a convention or other demonstration. GMs need help here, and this would not only help GURPS GMs, but GMs of other systems. It could be a drawing card for inquiring GMs to switch to GURPS if they have scenario structure help in a crunchy GURPS book. It would help sell one book, at least.

So, we're talking about 75 combat foes, and about 25 each of non-combat foes, traps, illnesses, and hazards/hurdles. Assuming the combat foes take up two to a page and the others take up three, those are about 70 pages or so, not counting explanations and extra rules for them. Adding the don't-call-it-a-Compendium stuff (outdoor survival, surprise, chases, scenarios), and the book looks like about 128 pages. Increasing the crunchy bits by 50% would make the book about 160 pages. I’m not sure having more crunchy bits beyond this will add more.

Somethings that I'm not throwing in here are player traits, things with point costs. There's a series for just that, the GURPS Power-Ups series. You want a bunch of disadvantages, skills, or techniques? Those are possible GURPS Power-Ups supplements. They're a big reason the GURPS Compendia 4e haven't happened yet. Essentially, you only need GURPS Compendium II, and anyone from the 3e days can say that we didn't use GURPS Compendium II as much as we used GURPS Compendium I.

What GURPS supplements come nearest to this? I'm going to pick out GURPS After the End 2: The New World as the best example of this. There are about twenty stat blocks for foes with many ways to easily tweak them, and there's plenty of variety. There are ways to mess with players like illnesses, outdoor survival, and hazards like radiation. RPK clearly put a lot of work into making sure a you could go into this book and quickly find something you could throw at your players, without having to spend too much time learning how it works.

Criteria for including stat blocks, or why the red deer shouldn't be in the GURPS Basic Set

There are criteria for choosing which stat blocks that go in any published work. There's one key criterion that is above all others, and that criterion is:

What the hell do I think the buyers of this book will do with this stat block?

The most common thing is to fight the creature. Seems basic, right? Why is the basilisk in GURPS Basic Set Campaigns? Easy, so players can fight the basilisk. A corollary to the idea that if it has stats, you can kill it is that to kill it, it has to have stats. Stats are how the game system interacts with the beast. In the end, the foe is a game element.

Another reason to include a creature is to be buddies with it, or at least have it be some kind of sidekick for a character. While I think there are too many horses in GURPS Basic Set Campaigns or at least the book should summarize the minor differences more succinctly, there is a need for a horse. Characters will often ride horses, carry stuff on horses, or even buy them as Allies. Having the stat block helps define those uses, and even serves as a way of advertising them. Nothing says that you can have a horse as a a mount, a beast of burden, or an Ally better than printing the stats for a horse.

A third reason is to be the creature. I haven't made a fuss about including a house cat since preternaturally intelligent cats are often protagonists in fiction. (Plus I'm a cat person.) They're also good choices for Alternate Forms since they're everywhere. Cats in roleplaying games are so common that a few folks evaluate roleplaying games by how they handle cat-on-human combat, so they have that additional use for some strange reason. (Multiple uses are good.)

A fourth reason is to show something. You also might see that I've left out the oxen from my criticism. Well, there's actually a use for the oxen, though one the GURPS Basic Set doesn't take up: you can use an oxen to show off trampling. Alright, a buffalo would be better here, but the point is that you can write out an example of a game situation—a trampling attack, in this case—that is not uncommon but hardly the norm. You don't need more than one beast to show off trampling attacks, much as you don't need four bears with full stats since you've made your point.

So back to Bambi. He's a boring foe since most characters can beat him easily and hunting is abstracted anyways. Nobody buys him since he's wild and can't go into town with you. Likewise, he's not a common choice to play, though some druid somewhere might want to turn into him to deliver a message or go full antler. He doesn't show off traits that are interesting. The traits he does show off are common. Bambi is getting in the way of the Tick-Tock Croc, who would be better since at least some characters would find him a challenge.

Oh, yeah. There should be some level of uniqueness to a monster or NPC entry. In the Basic Set, a different kind of horse just needs a sentence or two saying what traits are different from the main horse entry. You don't need two creatures whose purpose is to be an example for trampling.

Mind you, this doesn't apply to what would appear in GURPS Bestiary. I want to see Bambi in there, with a full set of traits. At that point, the buyer can figure out what he or she wants from the animal; that is the point of the book.

Game log 15 May 2022: Another one bites the dust

Personae dramatis

Tulip, elf bard
Grignok, orc druid
Felcanis, elf cleric
Honsou, larcenous bowman

Quid occurrit

They go to the hallway in the right corner, and follow it to the end, past a turn to the right. The room wherein they find themselves looks familiar: long, narrow, and spreading out to the left. After walking through it for a bit, they find stairs going up to their left, and to the right, they find an open door, with dead giants rats on the other side. They go back to the turn to the right (now left) they passed, and found themselves in an old storeroom, with a no-longer-secret door to the right, past which they fought the ghouls. Thus, they go back to the room wherein they fought the giant toads.

Honsou unlocks the one door they haven't opened, which is on the other side of the way through which they first came into this room, which is on their right. Beyond the door are six armed skeletons standing ready in what looks like an old bedroom, with a bed frame and a wardrobe.

One skeleton rushes towards Mēnévē and swings its shortsword at her, but she steps back from the wild strike. Two skeletons rush Grignok, still in panther shape, and miss him with their swords. Honsou steps back and misses a skeleton with a broadhead a broadhead arrow. Mēnévē noses forward a step, and hits a skeleton with the her warhammer's flat side, getting past its shield and breaking a rib. Grignok grabs one of the skeletons that rushed him, its shield making it hard for the the skeleton to get away. Felcanis casts Armor on Tulip. Bill steps back, whinnies, and the ass of the ass hits a barrel behind him.

The skeleton near Mēnévē swing its sword at her, but she again steps back, but another another skeleton rushes her hits. A third skeleton rushes Tulip and misses with its sword. The skeleton near Grignok misses him with its sword, while another skeleton rushes him and likewise misses. Honsou misses another shot at a skeleton. Mēnévē steps back and readies her warhammer. Grignok tries to squeeze the skeleton's bones but cannot. Felcanis steps near Bill's head and swings her mace at the nearest skeleton but misses. Tulip steps and stabs at the skeleton near her, but it steps back. Bill backs up one to the side of the barrel.

Felcanis steps back from a skeleton swinging its sword at her, as do likewise Tulip and Mēnévē. One of the skeletons by Grignok misses hitting him with its sword, but one is behind him and hits, wounding him. Grignok nonetheless tries to squeeze the skeleton in his paws to dust. He cannot, but he turns to keep his back away from either skeleton. Honsou misses yet another shot at a skeleton's head. Mēnévē swings her warhammer's flat side at a skeleton, but it steps back. Felcanis steps and smashes her mace into the nearest skeleton. Tulip steps and stabs at the skeleton near her, but it steps back, and Bill backs up.

The skeleton by Felcanis falls from its wounds. Another skeleton steps and swings its sword at Mēnévē, but she steps back. A third skeleton steps and swings its sword at Tulip, but it can't get past the Armor spell. The two skeletons by Grignok swing their swords at him, but miss. The one in his paws cannot wiggle out, and he crushes it. Honsou readies his bow, and Mēnévē readies her warhammer, stepping back. Felcanis steps and swings her mace at the nearest skeleton and misses, and Tulip likewise steps and stabs with her rapier at the skeleton near her and also misses.

A skeleton steps and swings its sword at Mēnévē, who she steps back. Another skeleton steps and swings its sword at Tulip, but it can't get past the Armor spell. The two skeletons by Grignok swing their swords at him but miss.  Mēnévē swings her warhammer's flat side at a skeleton but misses. Honsou shoots a broadhead arrow at a skeleton's head but misses. Grignok runs around the skeletons near him and hits the skeleton near Felcanis and Tulip from behind, but doesn't hurt it. Felcanis swings her mace at the nearest skeleton and it steps back. Tulip steps and stabs at the skeleton near her and misses.

A skeleton steps and swings its sword at Mēnévē, but she steps back. Another skeleton bashes its shield into Honsou, but takes more hurt than it gives him. The skeleton Honsou keeps shooting steps and swings its sword at him but misses. The skeleton Grignok tried to slam turns and swings its sword at him, but he steps back. Honsou moves and shoots a broadhead arrow into the nearby skeleton from the side, dropping it. Mēnévē steps back and readies her warhammer. Grignok grapples the skeleton that bashed its shield into Honsou. Felcanis swings her mace at the skeleton Grignok that tried to slam, but it steps back into the hallway. Tulip runs behind that skeleton and tries to stab it, but misses.

The skeleton in the hall steps and swings its sword at Felcanis, who steps back. Another skeleton slams its shield into Mēnévē, hurting her a little as she steps back. Honsou moves and shoots a broadhead arrow at the skeleton that slammed its shield into Mēnévē but misses. Mēnévē steps back and swings her warhammer's flat side at the skeleton but misses. Grignok tightens his grip on the skeleton. Felcanis swings her mace at the skeleton in the hallway, but it steps back, and she steps back away from it, too. Tulip steps and stabs at that skeleton from the side, but misses.

The skeleton in the hall swings its sword at Felcanis, hitting her as she tries to step away. The other ungrappled skeleton tries to slam its shield into Mēnévē but she steps away, and it runs past. Honsou moves and shoots a broadhead arrow at the back of the head of the skeleton that slammed its shield into Mēnévē but misses. Mēnévē steps back and readies her warhammer. Grignok crushes the skeleton in his paws, and it turns to dust. Felcanis warily steps forward. Tulip steps and stabs at the skeleton in the hallway with her from behind, but cannot get through its bone.

The skeleton turns and tries to slash Tulip but she steps back. The other one steps and tries to slash Mēnévē, who steps away. Honsou shoots the skeleton in the hall with a broadhead arrow to its head, dropping it to the ground, but still moving. Mēnévē steps back and looks for an opening. Grignok grapples the skeleton by Mēnévē. Felcanis smashes the skull of the skeleton wiggling on the ground, shattering it. Tulip kicks its empty rib cage.

Mēnévē slams the side of her pick into the side of the skeleton, crushing it but not taking it out. Grignok keeps squeezing it, turning it to dust.

Castle Whiterock 16 May 2022: Got the teeth of the hydra upon ya

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior
(Stonemaul, half-orc holy warrior)

What they did

I can see a bunch of hydra heads float, and a roar from Garreth. The hydrakittens throb and thrash. I take the heads off a hydrakitten, and step back, but soon it bursts as do the other kittens, which hurts. There are a lot of rocks, silt, bubbles, and blood making it hard to see as the hydra's body bursts with the din of Leonard Nimoy's cover of "Proud Mary." I slug the major healing potion I have in hand and yell, "This sounds worse than any Justin Bieber concert!" before slugging another healing potion.

I swim towards Bleu and get a look at her. She eyes are staring off into nothing, as if she were listening to herself speak. As she does not look good, I grab her by the neckline and swim up to the surface of the lake. There, I see that I got her up in time, as her being dead would stop all her spells.

After a little bit, Thrognar, Logan, and Garreth make it to the top, with Garreth dragging a wounded Polly. Garreth hands Polly to Thrognar and the wineskin of healing to me. I pour the potion from the wineskin into Polly's mouth, and I give Garreth the ring of Swimming so he can go down and get loot to pay for Bleu's resurrection. He sheathes Scalemar and pulls out a magically-lit sai, then goes back down. I give Polly seven doses of potion, take two myself, one to Logan, then hand over the funbag to Thrognar so he can drink. We swim towards shore, and Logan drags Thrognar as he swims to let Thrognar rest. 

After a long swim, we see fins sticking out of the water. Polly says, "Oh, fishies!" as sharks circle nearer. I look around and find a chest that has floated up from the hydra's lair. I slyly slip Bleu's bloody body past the sharks and onto the chest, and Thrognar climbs on himself. Polly and I get on, and Polly asks, "So now we don't have to fight the nice nature fishies?" I shake my head, and the sharks swim off to munch on hydra parts, while Logan pulls our makeshift raft to shore.

Once on shore, we start drying off and resting. After about an hour, we see two big crabs swimming to the shore. One, an orange crab, has water steaming around it and the other, a blue crab, is freezing the water around it to slush. The crabs crawl onto shore, and Logan and I cut the eyestalks off the orange one, though its heat hurts Logan. "Logan! Back off that thing and look for butter!" Thrognar pulls out his sword and cuts an eyestalk off the blue crab. It tries to go after Polly, but she cuts off its last eye. Polly and I stab the crabs in their mouths to finish them off, then I cook the crabs using the heat from the shell of the orange crab. I feed Logan and give him a sip from the funbag for his burns.

After another hour or two, Garreth comes back, with a lot of loot and hydra fangs and butter in the bag of holding. We go back to town and raise Bleu from the dead. I try flirting with her again, but she keeps babbling about something, so I fall asleep. I wake up again after how many minutes, and she's still babbling about something.