Castle Whiterock 2 October 2023: Topless Lamia

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior

Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

What they did

Garreth goes to Chauntessa. "We've killed everything we could find down there, didn't see anyone who seemed likely to have cast sleep of ages. Any hints? Can you scry for more details or something? Benny's ghost is defeated now if that's what was in your way."

Chauntessa goes and talks to Eli and comes back. "Eli says you can find the answer in a bottle."

I look at Garreth. "We've found a lot of answers in bottles."

We hire Angie the Surgeon to dissect Benthosruthsa. She says, "You guys must be like pickled mummies, but sure, I'll come. Don't let me die."

I give Angie a wink and a leer. "Oh, don't worry, we can afford to fix you if that happens." We make sure she has a Ghost Touch knife to disembowel the dragons, then go down into the dungeon and Angie does her work.

Meanwhile, we talk to Baghanaya and Scithia about bottles. Scithia says that she knows something, so after some goading, threatening, and tempting with the idea of exotic statues, she leads us to an iron flask on an island of cooled magma in the middle of the polluted lake. She says she knows nothing about the flask, only that Silhouette said not to bother with it. Bleu says the iron flask is an Iron Flask™, and can trap outsiders. She casts Analyze Magic, and says that the trapped being is an unhappy lamia named Hasna, and the command word is, "By Almighty Benthos!" in Common. Oh, and since I found it, I get to say it.

So I say it.

There’s a big burst of light and smoke worthy of Michael Bay. When it clears, a beautiful woman clad only in a brassiere is before me. Now, I don’t get too many ideas, since she’s a lion from the waist down.

The lamia cries, "I’m free. Wait … no, I’m not free! Meanies, you’re geasing me, you’re as bad and mean as Benthos!"

Garreth says, "We we can put her back when we're done. Maybe we can use the flask again later."

Hasna cries, "No! Don’t put me back."

I chuckle and cast a glance at the hooded Scithia. "Oh, if you're lucky …."

To make a long tale short, Hasra, whose full name is Hasna'azhar, tries seducing us, badmouths Scithia, says Silhouette kept her in the flask because Hasna was prettier than Silhouette (not a high bar), and says Benthosruthsa ("May he rot forever in the Seven Levels of the Abyss and be feasted upon by Celestial Termites!"—she has a way with words) wasn’t the biggest dragon where a woman really wants size. She gets jealous when I say that both Polly and Bleu turn me on more than she (elf women!) and cringes when I say that if she doesn't play ball she can go in Scithia's art gallery.

Since she’s under a geas to me, we ask about the Sleep of Ages, and she tells us that she'd obey for for the rest of the hour of the geas then I'd use use Shadow Jump to get away unless we made her stick around. However, it would take eight hours for her cast the spell. We do find out she is a fan of "Gar Eff and the Murder Hobies," and might help for a date including a concert.

Garreth blinks. "So, you have heard of me?" Logan yips in backup.

Hasna's eyes widen. "I expected you to be cuter and only wear one gauntlet."

Or, we could choose to grapple her and keep her down to make her cast the spell. 

We get her to hand over her gear: a Naginata of Flexibility, a Ring of Protection, a Bra of Wonder, and a scroll of the Sleep of Ages. Garreth has me prod her to tell us what she needs to cast Sleep of Ages, and she needs her hands, feet, tail, and mouth to do so. She also says she needs three of her four limbs free to Shadow Jump.

After many minutes of this, I've had as much of her as I can, so I say, "By Almighty Benthos!" and she goes back in the bottle. I pick it up. "Wow, she's annoying."