Personae dramatis
Grignok, orc druid
Felcanis, cleric
Honsou, bowman watched by the Town Watchdwarf
Quid occurrit
Grignok, a handsome orc, sees a campfire and goes near it. He starts handing leaves to a nearby tree, as if petting it. "You have a nice coat, very strong. You'll be handy."
Felcanis's Watchdog alerts him to the handsome incomer. She gets out her mace, and awakes the others. Honsou gets out his bow once awake.
Grignok sees the weapons. "No need for those. I'm just a traveler, admiring the strength of the trees." He steps back. "I am unarmed."
Honsou keeps his bow aimed at Grignok. Bill neighs.
Grignok hears the neigh. "What a fine beast. May I speak with the beast?"
Angelista nods. "You may speak with the donkey."
Grignok casts Beast Speech and comes up to Bill. "Greetings mighty beast. What is your name?" To everyone but Bill, this sounds like Grignok is neighing like a donkey.
Bill opens his eyes wide. "The elf says 'Bill.'" Again, this sounds like neighing.
Grignok asks, "Do they treat you well, Bill?"
Bill neighs back, "Yes, the elf does."
Honsou stares at the scene. "What's wrong with the new guy?" he asks Angelista.
Angelista smiles, gazing at Grignok's chisled body. "Nothing, absolutely nothing. He's … perfect."
Honsou shakes his head. "You're no help at all."
Grignok pats Bill's coat. Bill asks him, "Why do you talk? The elf doesn't talk to me."
Grignok says, "I am what the orcs call 'Casumaorc.' It means I am chosen to be the leader."
Bill asks, "Leader of the orc herd?"
Grignok says, "Yes, kind of."
Bill asks, "Where is the orc herd?"
Grignok overlooks that question. "Does anybody mistreat you?"
Bill neighs, "No, but the spear woman does not like me. The elf woman is my friend."
Grignok says, "The spear woman is strong like an orc. She has honor."
Bill asks, "What honor?"
Grignok says, "Honor in battle, Bill."
Bill says, "I don't like battle."
Grignok pats Bill. "I must go to the people. Bye for now, Bill." With that, Grignok dismisses his spell. He sits down by the fire, and turns to Angelista. "Nice fire you built. You should be nicer to Bill. A little kindness to your beast of burden goes a long way."
Angelista says, "Bill is just Bill. I am not nice or mean. I just am."
Grignok says, "Bill has been working hard to be support your warrior honor."
Angelista says, "My honor lies in killing monsters, not coddling the donkey. I leave that job to the cleric. She seems to do it well enough. Sometimes at the cost of our own lives."
Grignok says, "Well, don't be surprised if Bill balks at you. Just you know, the animals, the plants, they all know and can fight back." Bill cuddles up to Felcanis, really confused, and really tired.
Angelista says, "We are heading to Dībités Rock, if you wish to travel with us."
Grignok agrees to come along, and says, "Don't be alarmed." He draws symbols in the dirt and mumbles, casting Mystic Mist. Angelista says, "He summons fog. He must be a druid."
Indeed he is, though Angelista and Honsou soon find that he still snores like an orc, and cover their ears.
In the middle of the night, Felcanis's Watchdog goes off again. Saundīvós doesn't shine at night. Three big shapes walk up to the mist, then start puking. This is some nasty puke. It's the stuff an ogre couldn't keep down. A few fingers from various humanoids are in the vomit. After several seconds, the shapes, now clearly ogres, stop retching. "I no like here. We get more food other place!" The ogres walk off.
Angelista grabs her weapons and leaps to her feet. "They're gonna go find others to terrorize. They need to be hunted. There are three of them. We'll have to split them up. If there is a tribe nearby we can use their bodies to send that tribe a message."
As Grignok has no weapons, Angelista has Felcanis and him divert two ogres so she and Honsou can kill the third before killing the other two. "Let their blood feed the trees!" yells Grignok.
They can hear the ogres up ahead, but cannot see them through the trees. They sneak nearer and still cannot see them, but can hear their speech from beyond the nearest copse of trees.
Ogre 1: "You dwarf-puker."
Ogre 2: "You elf-hole."
Ogre 1: "You orc-snot."
Ogre 2: "Orc snot taste good!"
Ogre 3: "I like orc snot too!"
Ogre 2: "Orc snot taste good on boiled horse!"
Ogre 1: "When Kagarak serve elf, she always serve frozen elf. I like fresh elf!"
Ogre 2: "Frozen elf taste just as good as fresh elf! My wife make best frozen elf!"
Ogre 1: "No, frozen elf no taste as good as fresh elf!"
They seem to have stopped and are arguing.
Ogre 3: "Kagarak no put enough orc snot on frozen elf."
Ogre 2: "Kagarak is great cook!"
Angelista gives the signal for Honsou and Felcanis to silently move around the right.
Ogre 1: "Look, all I say is that nobody make frozen elf as good as fresh elf. You can put lots of elf snot on them, they not as good. Orc snot too strong."
Grignok makes a moose sound. Angelista looks at him with disbelief.
Ogre 2: "That moose?"
Ogre 1: "No, that elk."
Ogre 2: "That moose!"
Ogre 1: "No, that elk!"
Ogre 3: "I think moose and elk are same!"
Ogre 2: "I hungry. We kill moose"—Ogre 1: "Elk!"—"MOOSE and then we bring it back and cook it. Elf blood make it taste better."
Ogre 2: "Come here, moose! We want to eat you! Hey, moose, come from behind tree!"
Ogre 1: "Elk no come if you call it moose!"
Ogre 3: "They same! They no care!"
Ogre 3 spots a light to his left, from Felcanis. "Thanks for light! Moose is hiding!"
Honsou throws a small rock into to the tree to the ogre's left. Felcanis steps, and suddenly the ogre near her realizes that an elf is holding the light. "Hey, elf there! I eat elf, you eat moose-elk!" He rushes towards her, and Felcanis casts Command and bids him to drop his maul. "Here maul, little elf-dinner!"
The ogres get nearer to Angelista.
Ogre 1: "Hey, you man, not moose!"
Ogre 2: "No, it woman! It no respond to 'man'!"
Honsou tries to distract the ogre by throwing another rock, but it doesn't see it. Angelista whips her javelin at the knee of one of the ogres but misses, then pulls out her sword. "Grignok get that second ogre off me"
Ogre 1: "Kill elf, then find elk!"
Ogre 2: "No it moose!"
Grignok starts to build up Lightning. Felcanis casts Command, telling the ogre to lay on the ground. He does, and tries to grab her legs but misses. Two ogres rush up to Angelista but miss. Honsou lobs the biggest rock he can find at the ogre near Felcanis, and it hits. It doesn't hurt him, but he does feel it. "Hey! I no like that!"
Grignok casts Lightning. Angelista swings at an ogre's knee but misses. Felcanis hits the ogre on the neck with her mace. The ogre grabs at her, she casts Command and bids, "Stop!" and the ogre does. Two ogres try to smash Angelista's skull, but miss. Honsou whips out his knife and rushes to stab the ogre's neck, but can't get through his skin.
Angelista swings at the ogre's knee, and he can't parry with his maul, so she cripples his leg, making him fall. Grignok moves and throws Lightning at an ogre, shocking him. Felcanis again hits the ogre on the windpipe with her mace. One ogre reaches for Honsou and another for Grignok, but neither can grab them. The third tries to bash Angelista's skull, but misses.
Honsou tries to stab an ogre in the eye, but misses. Angelista swings to the knee of the other ogre. He can't parry, so she cripples his leg, too. Grignok dashes ahead. Felcanis whacks the neck again, hitting the ogre's windpipe. He grabs Honsou. One ogre turns and tries to hit Angelista with his maul. She steps back but he still lands the blow. The other one on her tries to do the same, but she blocks him.
This time, when Honsou stabs the ogre, he nicks him. Grignok starts casting Animate Plant. Felcanis casts Command, and bids the ogre to let go of Honsou. He does, and tries to grab Felcanis, but misses. The ogres by Angelista crawl.
As the ogres are nearing Honsou, he gets out of the reach of the ogre. Angelista starts to dash around the trees. Felcanis hits the ogre in the windpipe once again. He tries to romance Felcanis with a grab, but she steps away.
Honsou gets out his bow and an arrow and starts aiming. Angelista keeps moving around the trees. Felcanis swings for the skull of the ogre, but misses. He tries to grab her again, but she bids him to stop with Command. The other ogres crawl forward.
Being on the ground helps the ogres, as Honsou steps, shoots, and misses an ogre. Angelista moves. Felcanis again misses the ogre's skull, and he again tries to grab her, and she again casts Command to tell him otherwise.
Honsou draws a bodkin arrow and shoots an ogre in the innards, dropping him. Grignok steps and keeps concentrating on his spell. Felcanis casts Stop Bleeding on Angelista. The ogres keep crawling.
Grignok steps and keeps concentrating on his spell, and Honsou moves, too. Felcanis casts Major Healing on Angelista.
Angelista rushes and swings at the arm of the nearest ogre, but misses, while Honsou only rushes. Grignok steps and concentrates on his spell. Felcanis rushes to join the fray. One ogre passes out as he tries to turn to whack Angelista. The other kneels, facing Angelista as he does.
Angelista says, "You three talked about how you eat others. Imagine what it would be like if we ate you!"
The ogre says back, "We taste good!"
Honsou pulls out an arrow and aims. Angelista rushes towards an ogre and swings but misses. Grignok stops casting his spell and rushes to join the fray. Felcanis rushes towards an ogre and swings but misses. An ogre swings for Felcanis. However, she casts Command, and he freezes. Angelista lines up a stab to the ogre's innards. It cannot swat away her sword so she hits, but he still is awake.
Grignok casts Frostbite on an ogre, but his body stays warm. Felcanis moves away. The ogre swats Angelista with his maul, dropping her.
Honsou lets the bodkin fly at the ogre, but the arrow doesn't hurt him much. Grignok casts Lightning. The ogre stands and steps forward.
Honsou pulls out an arrow and aims. Grignok throws Lightning at the ogre, shocking him. The ogre steps and swings at Honsou, who steps away.
His aim steady, Honsou lets the bodkin fly at the ogre and hits, but the ogre stays standing. Grignok casts Lightning again. Felcanis moves again.
Grignok throws Lightning once more at the ogre, killing him, as Honsou gets out another arrow.
Felcanis heals Angelista the next day.
They go back to town. The town guards eye Grignok warily, but let him through. Once in town, Felcanis bathes for some reason. The street is usual midday busy. Nobody is paying much heed to them.
A draft horse neighs at Angelista, then steps up to her. After smiling and petting the horse, the horse nuzzles her. She looks around, but cannot find the owner. She smiles. "I wish I could afford you, boy, but I can't. I wonder where your owner is." He keeps nuzzling her, and she turns to Grignok. "Grignok, can you ask the horse where is is owner? And tell him I think he is quite lovely."
Grignok scratches his head. "What makes you think I can talk to animals?"
Angelista says, "You talked to the donkey last night."
Grignok says, "I did? That wasn't a dream? You sure you didn't dream that?"
Angelista rolls her eyes. "No, I did not dream you neighing and braying at my ass last night. Can you find the steeds owner or no?"
Grignok pets the horse and casts Beast Speech. "Where you from, fine stallion?"
The horse says, "From here."
Grignok asks the horse, "Who's your master?"
The horse says, "The woman."
Grignok tells the horse to lead him to her, and the horse pushes his nuzzle into Angelista. Grignok looks at Angelista and dismisses his spell. "Well, mistress, looks like you are the master of this horse. Treat him well."
Angelista says, "I cannot. You know the penalty for horse stealing?"
Grignok says, "Well, it said you were it's master."
Angelista says, "What it said and what its owner says will be of contention."
Grignok asks, "What is horse stealing?"
Angelista says, "When one steals a horse, of course."
Honsou adds, "That's my job."
Angelista smiles. "Honsou, you stay out of this"
Folks pass by them, looking at them with disdain. Others go in and out of the church, taking no heed of them. But most ignore them or say, "No, not mine, go pick mushrooms, rag!"
After some chatter, Grignok wonders who leads the town, and suggests that he or she might have lost the horse. Angelista knows that the town leader is the Ážanos (Burgomaster), so they lead the horse away and go to the Ážanos's house, which isn't far. It is a luxurious house made of wood and in a nice ward.
Angelista asks to speak to the Ážanos. The maid says he's not there. Angelista asks whether they're missing any horses. The maid looks around, and says no, they're not missing any horses, and certainly not any bred for the farm like that one. Angelista says, "Fair enough," and they leave.
Next, they look for a Town Watchman, and find one, albeit an old and wiry man. "Eh? What you got there, lady? An orc?"
Angelista says, "Excuse me, sir, I found this horse wandering the square but I have no idea who owns him. Do you by chance know who he can be returned to?"
The Watchman cleans out his ear. "Eh, we can figure this all out. Now, missy, this horse isn't yours?"
Grignok says, "I mean I never seen someone try to give away a horse that belongs to them so badly."
Angelista sighs. "You are in front of the guard. Please let me talk." She turns to the guard. "Yes, sir, I found him just wandering the square."
The Watchman asks, "Oh? Right here?"
Angelista says, "Over by the church."
Grignok butts in, "She the master of this horse. He said so."
The Watchman is confused. "Missy, why does your orc keep saying you're the owner, and who said you're the owner?"
Grignok clears it up. "The horse says she's the master."
Angelista groans. "Grignok, stop arguing and contradicting me and stop waving your hair around like that."
Grignok says, "Hey, warrior woman, I am not contradicting you. You are contradicting the horse!"
Angelista sighs. "The horse doesn't understand the law and clearly neither do you." She turns to the Watchman. "Please ignore him. The horse is NOT mine. I found it wandering by the church. The orc is a druid who talks to animals."
The old Watchman stares at Grignok, then turns back to Angelista. "Now, the orcs are beasts and so they can talk to other beasts. I've never heard of a horse lying, but then I've never heard of a horse telling the truth, either. I know those pesky orcs lie. You really need to whip your orc. But have you checked in the church?" Angelista says she has not but will do so. The Watchman nods. "Don't mention it. You should put a collar on your orc and a chain leash. You don't want those orcs wandering around town."
Angelista tells Grignok to be careful of what he says around the Watch. She says Grignok contradicts her, while Grignok says Angelista contradicts the horse. Honsou starts looking for things to steal, so Angelista tells Honsou and Grignok to stay together while she goes into the church.
While Grignok and Honsou talk about which one can hit the nearest sign with a pebble or an arrow, Angelista goes to the nearest cleric, and one acolyte smiles at her. "Good day, child, how may I help you? Care to make a donation to the god of light?"
Angelista shakes her head. "I cannot spare any coin at this time but I need some assistance. I found a horse just wandering outside the church. I was wondering if you might know who it belongs to."
After Angelista takes the acolyte outside and shows him the horse, he says, "Why, yes, I think know the owner. She came in from the farmlands and is looking for a blessing." She takes Angelista back inside to a woman who looks a bit like Angelista, but she's shorter, her hair is up in a bad Mohawk, and she's in peasant garb.
The woman looks up. "What do you all want?"
Angelista leads the woman to the way in and points outside. "Excuse me, madame, is this your horse?"
The woman smirks at Angelista. "No, my name is not Madame." She looks outside. "Yeah, that's my horse. Why do you ask?"
Angelista says, "I found him just wandering around outside the church he is quite the fine steed. I do not have the coin to purchase him as much as I wish I could. I am returning him to you."
The woman asks, "Oh, yeah, I brought him with me. He's gonna carry the supplies. What are you doing with him?"
Angelista says, "He was just wandering around so I decided to see if I could get him back to his rightful owner. My code forbids me just taking him."
The woman sneers at Angelista. "Blimey, rag, the law says you can't just take him, too!"
Angelista says, "I didn't. You just let him wander. And watch your mouth.
The woman scoffs. "Yeah, well, I couldn't bring him into church with me."
Angelista raises an eyebrow. "So you didn't even tie him? Are you that stupid?"
Apparently she is. "No, I didn't."
Angelista sighs. "Here is your horse back. Go pick some mushrooms." She walks away.
The two women call each other names—the peasant woman calls Angelista a "rag" and Angelista calls the peasant woman a "whore," leads the peasant woman to say that a certain time didn't count—then go their own ways. Angelista leads Grignok to the town gates, trying to make him understand the ways of the townsfolk, while the peasant woman takes her horse and walks towards the market towards the south. "Dumb rag," she mutters. "Imagine looking like her!"
Felcanis finishes her bath, and steps out of her church. She sees Angelista and Grignok arguing, Honsou eyeing a far-off horse with bad intent (as usual), and Bill gnawing on the grass.
They set forth then camp. Night falls, nothing happens. They then walk to Káddrakos, but the gnomes won't let Grignok inside. there is a tavern in the village, the Winking Friar. Felcanis, Honsou, and Bill can stay the night there. Felcanis buys a week's worth of rations.
The Winking Friar is busy tonight. A short, old elf missing his right hand asks Honsou about guarding him as he takes a trip to Ōrrípon in the north, looking for oil, but when he goes off to tell the others, Grignok tells him that Ōrrípon is well to the north and would take weeks to reach, and is surrounded by mountains, and the old elf says he doesn't have the money to cover for the whole group.
Nothing odd happens the next day as they walk through the woods. The day after that they get near Dībités Rock. As they get near, they spot six men wearing the livery of Dībités Rock hanging out behind some trees. As they do not seem to see the heroes, the heroes get ready. Felcanis casts Silence on area with the heroes. Angelista pulls out her javelin and shield. Grignok sneaks then casts Animate Plant on a tree.
The tree moves forward. The guards easily spot a big walking tree. They shout in amazement, then pull out their bows. Honsou steps and shoots, the bandit falls prone. The others move around the tree. The bandits load their arrows.
Honsou whips out an arrow and aims. Angelista and Grignok move through the silence. The tree slams a bandit, and its branch misses another. The fallen bandit rolls away, while the other five fire arrows at the tree. They hit it, but they can't do enough damage to get through the bark, so they drop their bows.
Honsou steps and shoots a bandit, but misses. The tree tries to grab a bandit, but he gets out of the way. The bandits start turning to run. Honsou whips out an arrow and shoots but misses, while the others move nearer the bandits. The tree grabs two bandits. They can't wiggle out, and one hurts himself twisting onto the tree's branch.
Running as fast as they can, Dead Tree Man lives again!
The heroes take down one more bandit—Grignok tossing a Lightning spell—while the last two flee.
They rest up after dropping the dire boar, and Felcanis casts Major Healing on Angelista. After they rest, Grignok casts Shapshifting to turn into a black panther and start sniffing around the last tracks of the sow. As the sow smells like a pig, he finds the trail easily, and follows it to a clearing. There, they see the weresow as well as four of the big boars, but don't see anything special about the boars. The sow goes into a hole.
Grignok tries to hide in the brush and Honsou aims at a boar as the boars rush towards them. Angelista sheathes her silver-coated sword and then draws the magical broadsword. "We must kill them quickly before the lycan gets away!" Felcanis casts Armor on Angelista to help her do so.
A boar rushes at Angelista and she cannot block the blow, so it gores her. The next boar tries the same but misses. One boar gets near Angelista and tries to hit, but she parries, and the trees bottleneck the other one away from the gang. Angelista swings for the neck, but the boar dodges. Felcanis casts Shield on Angelista. Grignok claws a boar, and Honsou takes down a boar the same with a shot to the eye.
One of the boars steps and gores Honsou, and another tries to gore Angelista but she blocks his tusks. The last one runs around a tree. Angelista misses whacking a boar, while Grignok keeps clawing at one. Honsou steps back and keeps aiming at a boar, which gores him, knocking him out.
The boar with a blind side to Grignok turns around and takes a wild swing at him, but misses, as do the other two on Angelista and Felcanis. Angelista rams her sword up the boar by Grignok poop chute to get to his innards! She may be a woman, but she slides it in there. Grignok claws that boar, and another one misses him. A third boar misses Felcanis as she steps back. The boar by Grignok turns and tries to gore Grignok but misses.
Angelista moves and misses a boar. Felcanis gets Bill to run. Grignok tries to rush over and hit the boar by Angelista but misses. A boar runs over Honsou and gores Angelista, who doesn't parry. Another nearby nicks her. Angelista steps and stabs at the innards of a boar from its side, but misses.
Felcanis runs to Honsou, and Bill keeps moving. Grignok claws at a boar. A boar tries to bite Felcanis but misses. Another boar tries to gore Angelista, and she blocks his tusk but passes out from her wounds. Felcanis runs away.
A boar spins around and tries to ram his tusks into Grignok but misses, as does one trying to rush at him. The third boar starts munching on Angelista as Felcanis gets away.
Grignok nuzzles Angelista in the leg, but she doesn't respond. A boar misses Grignok and loses his balance. Another one misses, while a third bites on Angelista. Grignok grapples a boar, and gets out of the way of another's bite. Felcanis slips between the trees and tries to pull but Honsou out of the way but cannot.
Grignok pulls Angelista by the leg with his bite, and drops her at Felcanis's feet. Grignok returns to crime scene to see if Honsou is still there. He scoops him up in his panther mouth, and runs off.
Grignok turns back into an orc and casts Mystic Mist. Felcanis comes back with Bill, and heals up Angelista and Honsou. Grignok sets up camp and Felcanis casts Watchdog.
That night, two boars show up, a normal-sized one and one of the big ones. The mist scares and stuns the big one but not the small one. The small one sniffs around, but doesn't go inside the mist.
The next morning, Felcanis casts Major Healing and Minor Healing on Angelista. Grignok prays and learns a new spell, Heal Plants. He says, "Warrior woman, I can heal your wounds, but you got to trust me." Grignok casts Plant Form Other then Heal Plant on Angelista, healing her before he dismisses Plant Form Other.
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