Castle Whiterock 23 January 2023: How do a rakshasa and a medusa get it on, anyways?

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

Stonemaul, dwarven cleric of Danethar

What they did

Back in Cillamar, Garreth buys a mirrored dwarven shield and a man-sized sack, while I buy two Charisma potions. Then we go back to Castle Whiterock, down to Baghanaya's lair.

We go chill near the toxic waste. I hand Stonemaul a joint to smoke while he meditates next to toxic waste. The djinn from earlier holds up his hands trying to look friendly.

I take a swig of whiskey. "Hey, whassup?"

The djinn says, "Lord Baghanaya, the Great Rakshasa, welcomes you to his domain and requests you not explode the door again."

I shrug. "Yeah, well, it's open, so we don't need to blow it up." I look around. "Where's his girlfriend?"

The djinn says, "The Lady Scithia is found to the south, past his humble abode. I will lead you to where you may begin your hunt."

I offer the djinn a drink. He says, "Ooh, I love air and water, is it related?" I say it is, and he comes over and takes a drink. "Ah, electrifying! I could become a tornado! But I won't."

I say, “Well, it'll put hair on your chest if you drink enough. And I promise not to smoke anything around you, since that's fire and air."

Garreth asks if the djinn grants wishes, and the djinn says he is not planning to grant any wishes at that time.

The djinn leads us to some curtains by a tiger statue. He stops and does something by the statue, and the curtains open to a short hallway that turns right beyond the curtains. At the end of the hallway is a set of stone double doors, and there is another such set on the far wall about midway through the hallway. The djinn says,  "Through these doors is the masters art collection. Do you wish to see the art collection?" I tell him we'll pass for now, then he leads us to the set of doors at the end of the hall. "Lady Scithia may be found beyond. She is not expecting you."

Garreth shuts his eyes and hands me the shield, which I crouch behind. I put a blindfold on Logan and make a leash out of twine. I make another blindfold out of part of my shirt and wear it as a headband as a failsafe, and put some twine on Polly's wrist. Polly shuts her eyes and readies her shield and rapier. Garreth tells Bleu to keep back and only get involved when we need her. Garreth and I chat about how we're going to talk to Scithia, but we can't think of what to say beyond asking her what her relationship is with Baghanaya. With that, I push open the door.

Beyond the door are tunnels like the ones outside Baghanaya's apartments. To my right and forward I hear something. I'm looking at the ground with the shield up as I lead everyone to where I hear the din.

I don't have to lead everyone far before Garreth feels the blows. I hear him yelp, and can smell the perfume of the medusas. Logan and Polly blindly swat at the medusas near them, and both hit. When they hit, the medusas poof in a shower of flower petals. I whip out a Greater Healing potion and hold it out for Garreth, who already is drinking one of his own potions. Bleu peeks out and casts Great Haste on Garreth. We hear Scithia's astonished cry. "Waa? Your not dead? You just healed that much? Guards! Baghanaya cuddles! Help!"

The medusas step back and shoot a volley of arrows at Garreth, who bats them away. Scithia yells, "Unfair!"

The guardian statues turn into snakes and move. One swats at me, but I block it with the mirrored shield. I step and pour a potion Garreth's throat. Logan and Polly go after a snake, Polly dropping her buckler and rapier to grab her bow (I think). Garreth charges towards the source of the arrows. Scithia yells, "Stupid guards! You let him past!" I hear the din of Garreth yelling a kiai as he chops at medusas, and then Scithia yells, "Aiii! Baghanaya, help!"

I hear the sound of a blade coming out, and the light coming towards us dims. The djinn says, "Um, do you still wish to continue hostilities? You seem to have upset Lady Scithia greatly."

I call back, "Jeez, all we were gonna do was nab her so the rakshasa could have kinky sex with her!"
From there, we start chatting. The djinn tells the statues to stand down. I say, "Hey, Lord Baghanaya wanted us to capture you, bind you, and bring you to his room for perversions I dare not fathom."

Scithia asks, "Waaa! Is that true, Baghanaya?!"

I hear Baghanaya's growl. "You weren't supposed to tell her that! I was supposed to swoop in and heroically save her!"

I sigh, "You weren't saving her fast enough!"

Scithia asks, "Why didn't you leave your room?"

Baghanaya says, "I was finishing my glass of wine, and I was in bed. With the covers, it was comfortable."

Scithia cries, "They were going to kill me! The half orc! And he must be immortal! I stabbed him in the vitals! Five times! With my assassin's dagger! With bladeblack! By surprise! And he didn't die!"

I chuckle. "We weren't gonna kill you! Just get you laid!"

Garreth sings a little tune, "I'm Too Awesome for Death."

Itake a swig. "I forget cats aren't the most motivated creatures. Even cats dressed like Hugh Hefner and having kinky sex with snake women."

Scithia sobs, "HMMMFFF! And I was even wearing this cute magical maid armor!"

I grin. "I bet it's hot. Baghanaya is gonna be a lucky cat tonight." I think about peeking out, but instead light up a joint. "I'll stick to getting stoned this way."

For all this, Baghanaya gives Garreth a ring of Wish, Polly an Ironskin Amulet, and me a rod of Wither Limb. "Hmmmf! You're a lot of trouble, Scithia. Not only are you mad at me, I am paying to have you mad at me!"

Scithia scoffs. "Yeah, well, all my ex-boyfriends are in your art gallery! Wanna join them?"

I chuckle and make an aside to Baghanaya. "Baghanaya, if it means anything, but make-up-after-a-fight sex is way, way hot."