Castle Whiterock 23 January 2023: How do a rakshasa and a medusa get it on, anyways?

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

Stonemaul, dwarven cleric of Danethar

What they did

Back in Cillamar, Garreth buys a mirrored dwarven shield and a man-sized sack, while I buy two Charisma potions. Then we go back to Castle Whiterock, down to Baghanaya's lair.

We go chill near the toxic waste. I hand Stonemaul a joint to smoke while he meditates next to toxic waste. The djinn from earlier holds up his hands trying to look friendly.

I take a swig of whiskey. "Hey, whassup?"

The djinn says, "Lord Baghanaya, the Great Rakshasa, welcomes you to his domain and requests you not explode the door again."

I shrug. "Yeah, well, it's open, so we don't need to blow it up." I look around. "Where's his girlfriend?"

The djinn says, "The Lady Scithia is found to the south, past his humble abode. I will lead you to where you may begin your hunt."

I offer the djinn a drink. He says, "Ooh, I love air and water, is it related?" I say it is, and he comes over and takes a drink. "Ah, electrifying! I could become a tornado! But I won't."

I say, “Well, it'll put hair on your chest if you drink enough. And I promise not to smoke anything around you, since that's fire and air."

Garreth asks if the djinn grants wishes, and the djinn says he is not planning to grant any wishes at that time.

The djinn leads us to some curtains by a tiger statue. He stops and does something by the statue, and the curtains open to a short hallway that turns right beyond the curtains. At the end of the hallway is a set of stone double doors, and there is another such set on the far wall about midway through the hallway. The djinn says,  "Through these doors is the masters art collection. Do you wish to see the art collection?" I tell him we'll pass for now, then he leads us to the set of doors at the end of the hall. "Lady Scithia may be found beyond. She is not expecting you."

Garreth shuts his eyes and hands me the shield, which I crouch behind. I put a blindfold on Logan and make a leash out of twine. I make another blindfold out of part of my shirt and wear it as a headband as a failsafe, and put some twine on Polly's wrist. Polly shuts her eyes and readies her shield and rapier. Garreth tells Bleu to keep back and only get involved when we need her. Garreth and I chat about how we're going to talk to Scithia, but we can't think of what to say beyond asking her what her relationship is with Baghanaya. With that, I push open the door.

Beyond the door are tunnels like the ones outside Baghanaya's apartments. To my right and forward I hear something. I'm looking at the ground with the shield up as I lead everyone to where I hear the din.

I don't have to lead everyone far before Garreth feels the blows. I hear him yelp, and can smell the perfume of the medusas. Logan and Polly blindly swat at the medusas near them, and both hit. When they hit, the medusas poof in a shower of flower petals. I whip out a Greater Healing potion and hold it out for Garreth, who already is drinking one of his own potions. Bleu peeks out and casts Great Haste on Garreth. We hear Scithia's astonished cry. "Waa? Your not dead? You just healed that much? Guards! Baghanaya cuddles! Help!"

The medusas step back and shoot a volley of arrows at Garreth, who bats them away. Scithia yells, "Unfair!"

The guardian statues turn into snakes and move. One swats at me, but I block it with the mirrored shield. I step and pour a potion Garreth's throat. Logan and Polly go after a snake, Polly dropping her buckler and rapier to grab her bow (I think). Garreth charges towards the source of the arrows. Scithia yells, "Stupid guards! You let him past!" I hear the din of Garreth yelling a kiai as he chops at medusas, and then Scithia yells, "Aiii! Baghanaya, help!"

I hear the sound of a blade coming out, and the light coming towards us dims. The djinn says, "Um, do you still wish to continue hostilities? You seem to have upset Lady Scithia greatly."

I call back, "Jeez, all we were gonna do was nab her so the rakshasa could have kinky sex with her!"
From there, we start chatting. The djinn tells the statues to stand down. I say, "Hey, Lord Baghanaya wanted us to capture you, bind you, and bring you to his room for perversions I dare not fathom."

Scithia asks, "Waaa! Is that true, Baghanaya?!"

I hear Baghanaya's growl. "You weren't supposed to tell her that! I was supposed to swoop in and heroically save her!"

I sigh, "You weren't saving her fast enough!"

Scithia asks, "Why didn't you leave your room?"

Baghanaya says, "I was finishing my glass of wine, and I was in bed. With the covers, it was comfortable."

Scithia cries, "They were going to kill me! The half orc! And he must be immortal! I stabbed him in the vitals! Five times! With my assassin's dagger! With bladeblack! By surprise! And he didn't die!"

I chuckle. "We weren't gonna kill you! Just get you laid!"

Garreth sings a little tune, "I'm Too Awesome for Death."

Itake a swig. "I forget cats aren't the most motivated creatures. Even cats dressed like Hugh Hefner and having kinky sex with snake women."

Scithia sobs, "HMMMFFF! And I was even wearing this cute magical maid armor!"

I grin. "I bet it's hot. Baghanaya is gonna be a lucky cat tonight." I think about peeking out, but instead light up a joint. "I'll stick to getting stoned this way."

For all this, Baghanaya gives Garreth a ring of Wish, Polly an Ironskin Amulet, and me a rod of Wither Limb. "Hmmmf! You're a lot of trouble, Scithia. Not only are you mad at me, I am paying to have you mad at me!"

Scithia scoffs. "Yeah, well, all my ex-boyfriends are in your art gallery! Wanna join them?"

I chuckle and make an aside to Baghanaya. "Baghanaya, if it means anything, but make-up-after-a-fight sex is way, way hot."

Castle Whiterock 28 November 2022: Whirlwind

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

What they did

Garreth concentrates on getting faster. The two big djinn start whirling, tornadoes springing up around them. The wind hammers me but I stay up. Bleu casts Great Haste on Garreth. Polly says, "Hey, these tornados are discriminating against the Elven Way of Life!" She steps and switches from her bow to her rapier and shield. The djinn in back vanishes. I put on my ring and step back.

Garreth surges forward to do violence, and two of his blows land. The djinn says, "You have amazing skill! So fast! But it only tickles!" The other djinn tries to move, but it bonks into me and stops. It looks around, confused. Logan claws it twice. The djinn by Garreth steps forward and lashes out at him with flashing flaming steel, but Garreth parries. Polly smacks away with her rapier the other djinn. Something happens and it sweeps up. I try to slip under its legs, but cannot get through.

Logan claws it twice.

Garreth keeps swinging Scalemar, and another four of his blows land. Bleu casts Great Haste on Polly. Polly steps and attackw, and keeps shredding the djinn. It looks like it is still hurt a bit and only looks mostly happy and healthy. Garreth asks what is happening and Bleu says, "It appears that the smaller one which vanished earlier cast Major Healing." Garreth swears in three languages. I get past the djinn, and Logan waits for one to come in reach.

Garreth remembers the awesome Ghost Touch Long Knife. He growls and spins suddenly, shoving his hand into the handy haversack. The djinn looks puzzled. "What's that? A knife?"

Garreth spins around and greatly wounds it. It drops its falchion and looks greatly wounded. Garreth grins wickedly. "I can murder you now." Garreth's blade somehow turns aside just moments before it connects, but the djinn now seems bereft of protection. Garreth glares. "Deprived of my rightful prey."

The other djinn says, "Awww, I wanted to squash the stupid green blonde elf." Garreth yells, stunning the djinn hear him. It pounds Garreth, knocking him to the ground. Polly whacks away at the other djinn, and only nicks it. The wounds on the djinn by Garreth suddenly heal. I step and look for the invisible foe.

Garreth digs into his potion belt to fast draw and quaffs two healing potions, and kips up. The djinn sneers. "I hit you once I can hit you again! Hiding behind the elfy welfy? I guess I'll smash her first! It tries to smash Polly, who looks like she is about to fall as she steps back, but somehow takes no wounds. The other one tries to slam Polly. She blocks, and then it tries to whack at her skill twice with a fist of air and flame but misses. She whacks back at it, hitting five times. Logan likewise claws at the djinn, and I keep looking for the invisible djinn.

Garreth slashes up the djinn, and it poofs back to its home. Garreth roars in defiance the other djinn and stabs, but it parries his knife. Bleu steps and casts See Invisible on herself. The djinn starts to move, and Garreth roars in defiance at it again. It again parries his knife. It starts to move again just as Polly hits it before going off balance. I keep looking.

Logan gets between Bleu and any foes. She steps and casts See Invisible on me, and I see the caster a couple of yards in front of me. It doesn't look like it sees me. Garreth roars in defiance at the djinn he can see and stabs but misses. He roars again and again, stunning it. Polly whacks away and hits it four times. The caster says, "He's beat up and he's stunned? I could cast Major Healing or Awaken, but  … So long and thanks for all the mermaid skeletons!" And it poofs.

I say, "Oh, heck with it, I'll stab this guy in the eye," and I do that to the last djinn, but it doesn't hurt it much.

Garreth asks, "Bleu, can this thing grant wishes if we spare it?"

Bleu shakes her head. "No, only the stronger ones can do that"

Garreth shrugs and chooses to murder it. He drops his knife, then grumbles and switches back to Scalemar. He yells again, and takes it down.

I feel a twinge, and move down a small tunnel. Atop the frozen lavafall, I find a small recess – clearly part of a large lava tube that has been sealed off. A natural flow ledge makes a passable bench along the right wall, and the djinn were playing a game of cards on it when we came. A few thousand gold and several gems are stacked neatly in three piles.

Castle Whiterock 7 November 2022: Dem bones

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer
Thrognar, half-orc holy warrior

What they did

I tell Garreth and Polly that I have to see this portal, and they tell me to go for it. I go to the northeast and see my new friends hacking at the spell ruin ivy with their sickles. Fadulla tells me to keep following the lava. So I follow the lava stream up a sloped tunnel and come to a small cave. The lava stream comes out of a blazing hole and twists the outline of the cave. It feels warm and toasty even with my salamander amulet.

I ask Mufaqu, "How easy is the trip? It just like walking through the door of a pub or something?"  Mufaqu says it is, as well as going back, so I try it. My choice to go through lasts only a split second. I hold myself back as something seems wrong. It seems really neat, but I felt like I was starting to catch on fire. "Something tells me I gotta hold back for now, as cool—er, sweet—as the idea sounds."

Garreth tells me that I have to learn self-control, then shows the efreet the spellruin herbicide, which greatly speeds the hacking away at the spellruin ivy that the efreet are doing. Mufaqu tries it, looks impressed then gives it back. "That is wild! Do you want to trade it for the sickle?" Garreth holds off on any trade for the moment, even though Fadulla ups his offer for real alchemist's fire ("not just that puny human stuff"), as we need to get more.

So I go back and fly over the island and hot lava, and am now over land again. The ceiling has strange stalactites that look like frozen liquid rock, with a six foot crack in it. At the end of the tunnel is a hardened lavafall that goes up about thirty feet. There is a cave mouth at the top of it, so I fly down the it, and turn left when the tunnel does. I can see that this tunnel was once in an old lava lake, but it is now cooled and hard. At the end of the tunnel are two stone doors, locked when I check.

I check out the walls, and see there are fish bones frozen in it, as well as a mermaid's bones. I send Logan to get the others, who brings them back after an oddly long stall. "Took ya long enough! Did you stop for dinner or something?"

Garreth boggles. "It's not like I speak death weasel."

I sigh. "Oh, he's not just running up to you for food. I mean, he is running up to you for food, but there's more, y'know?"

Polly looks. "Whoa, I didn't know fish were in walls." I show her the mermaid bones as well.

Then I pick the lock to the doors. It swings open, and I see two big, red-skinned humanoids, with tails of tornadoes, and a smaller one behind them.

I say to the djinn, "Wow, hey there. You know there's mermaid bones out here, right?"