Castle Whiterock 23 January 2023: How do a rakshasa and a medusa get it on, anyways?

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

Stonemaul, dwarven cleric of Danethar

What they did

Back in Cillamar, Garreth buys a mirrored dwarven shield and a man-sized sack, while I buy two Charisma potions. Then we go back to Castle Whiterock, down to Baghanaya's lair.

We go chill near the toxic waste. I hand Stonemaul a joint to smoke while he meditates next to toxic waste. The djinn from earlier holds up his hands trying to look friendly.

I take a swig of whiskey. "Hey, whassup?"

The djinn says, "Lord Baghanaya, the Great Rakshasa, welcomes you to his domain and requests you not explode the door again."

I shrug. "Yeah, well, it's open, so we don't need to blow it up." I look around. "Where's his girlfriend?"

The djinn says, "The Lady Scithia is found to the south, past his humble abode. I will lead you to where you may begin your hunt."

I offer the djinn a drink. He says, "Ooh, I love air and water, is it related?" I say it is, and he comes over and takes a drink. "Ah, electrifying! I could become a tornado! But I won't."

I say, “Well, it'll put hair on your chest if you drink enough. And I promise not to smoke anything around you, since that's fire and air."

Garreth asks if the djinn grants wishes, and the djinn says he is not planning to grant any wishes at that time.

The djinn leads us to some curtains by a tiger statue. He stops and does something by the statue, and the curtains open to a short hallway that turns right beyond the curtains. At the end of the hallway is a set of stone double doors, and there is another such set on the far wall about midway through the hallway. The djinn says,  "Through these doors is the masters art collection. Do you wish to see the art collection?" I tell him we'll pass for now, then he leads us to the set of doors at the end of the hall. "Lady Scithia may be found beyond. She is not expecting you."

Garreth shuts his eyes and hands me the shield, which I crouch behind. I put a blindfold on Logan and make a leash out of twine. I make another blindfold out of part of my shirt and wear it as a headband as a failsafe, and put some twine on Polly's wrist. Polly shuts her eyes and readies her shield and rapier. Garreth tells Bleu to keep back and only get involved when we need her. Garreth and I chat about how we're going to talk to Scithia, but we can't think of what to say beyond asking her what her relationship is with Baghanaya. With that, I push open the door.

Beyond the door are tunnels like the ones outside Baghanaya's apartments. To my right and forward I hear something. I'm looking at the ground with the shield up as I lead everyone to where I hear the din.

I don't have to lead everyone far before Garreth feels the blows. I hear him yelp, and can smell the perfume of the medusas. Logan and Polly blindly swat at the medusas near them, and both hit. When they hit, the medusas poof in a shower of flower petals. I whip out a Greater Healing potion and hold it out for Garreth, who already is drinking one of his own potions. Bleu peeks out and casts Great Haste on Garreth. We hear Scithia's astonished cry. "Waa? Your not dead? You just healed that much? Guards! Baghanaya cuddles! Help!"

The medusas step back and shoot a volley of arrows at Garreth, who bats them away. Scithia yells, "Unfair!"

The guardian statues turn into snakes and move. One swats at me, but I block it with the mirrored shield. I step and pour a potion Garreth's throat. Logan and Polly go after a snake, Polly dropping her buckler and rapier to grab her bow (I think). Garreth charges towards the source of the arrows. Scithia yells, "Stupid guards! You let him past!" I hear the din of Garreth yelling a kiai as he chops at medusas, and then Scithia yells, "Aiii! Baghanaya, help!"

I hear the sound of a blade coming out, and the light coming towards us dims. The djinn says, "Um, do you still wish to continue hostilities? You seem to have upset Lady Scithia greatly."

I call back, "Jeez, all we were gonna do was nab her so the rakshasa could have kinky sex with her!"
From there, we start chatting. The djinn tells the statues to stand down. I say, "Hey, Lord Baghanaya wanted us to capture you, bind you, and bring you to his room for perversions I dare not fathom."

Scithia asks, "Waaa! Is that true, Baghanaya?!"

I hear Baghanaya's growl. "You weren't supposed to tell her that! I was supposed to swoop in and heroically save her!"

I sigh, "You weren't saving her fast enough!"

Scithia asks, "Why didn't you leave your room?"

Baghanaya says, "I was finishing my glass of wine, and I was in bed. With the covers, it was comfortable."

Scithia cries, "They were going to kill me! The half orc! And he must be immortal! I stabbed him in the vitals! Five times! With my assassin's dagger! With bladeblack! By surprise! And he didn't die!"

I chuckle. "We weren't gonna kill you! Just get you laid!"

Garreth sings a little tune, "I'm Too Awesome for Death."

Itake a swig. "I forget cats aren't the most motivated creatures. Even cats dressed like Hugh Hefner and having kinky sex with snake women."

Scithia sobs, "HMMMFFF! And I was even wearing this cute magical maid armor!"

I grin. "I bet it's hot. Baghanaya is gonna be a lucky cat tonight." I think about peeking out, but instead light up a joint. "I'll stick to getting stoned this way."

For all this, Baghanaya gives Garreth a ring of Wish, Polly an Ironskin Amulet, and me a rod of Wither Limb. "Hmmmf! You're a lot of trouble, Scithia. Not only are you mad at me, I am paying to have you mad at me!"

Scithia scoffs. "Yeah, well, all my ex-boyfriends are in your art gallery! Wanna join them?"

I chuckle and make an aside to Baghanaya. "Baghanaya, if it means anything, but make-up-after-a-fight sex is way, way hot."

Castle Whiterock 9 January 2023: Tiger tales

The murderhoboes

Garreth, half-orc swordsman
    Bleu, droning elf wizard
Zaber, suave and debonaire man
    Logan, wolverine
Polly, cute and deadly elf archer

Stonemaul, dwarven cleric of Danethar

What they did

We see a rakshasa sitting on the bed. I ask him, "Hey, there, wanna drink up?"

The rakshasa scowls. "Drink? With you? What makes you think you are worthy to drink with me, intruders who have killed my guards and broken into my sanctum?"

I shrug. "We didn't wanna drink with your guards, man. We wanted the best!"

He pauses. "Have you any duergar stout? It has been so long since a shipment from Narborg arrived."

I turn to Garreth. "Hey, Garreth, got any duergar stout?"

Garreth sighs. "I don't think we have any left, we could go rummage around in the ruins and see what we can find."

Garreth starts looking, but the rakshasa pipes up. "Ah, Gar-Eff and the Murder Hoboes?" He sniffs. "I do not see the point of such frivolities as much, I believe that the truest form of artistic expression is fine oratory" It then goes into ancient speeches of forgotten generals from the past, in the Ancient tongue.

I turn to Bleu. "Bleu, getting all of this?"

Bleu looks at me point blank. "No."

Garreth mutters in Undercommon, "Is he worth being friends with? Music is frivolity? What is that, poetry?"

I say back, "He looks like he knows how to party, man."

The rakshasa says back to us in Undercommon, "Only if you are worthy to be my friends."

I go through the booze in the bag of holding. "Man, we need a liquor cabinet of holding, too."

Stonemaul: chimes in. "The garbage those under-dwarves drink is only fit for setting things on fire. You might be able to get it as a cornucopia of flame-syphon ammo."

The rakshasa cocks an eyebrow. "You know of something far superior?"

Stonemaul says, "I will differ to my compatriots who have a very adventurous pallet to make recommendation."

Garreth shrugs. "I'm less of a connoisseur than a heavy consumer. I like to get drunk but it takes flammable booze by the pint. I'm depressingly sober right now, though. We had a bottle of dwarven firewine a while back that wasn't bad."

I hand over my whiskeyskin. "G, have a little more."

Garreth eyes the tiger thing and shakes his head slowly. "After."

The rakshasa dismisses us with a wave. "Then, depart the way you came, and return only with appropriate gifts, then may I leave you pass."

Garreth asks, "What would we pass to?"

The rakshasa says, "Beyond my realm and into that of the dragon. Also if you run into a medusa, do not slay her, bring her to me bound and you shall be rewarded."

I say, "We don't care about your realm. I mean, it sounds sweet, but it's yours. We care about that dragon. The medusa, not my type. I like being stoned, but not stoned stoned."

Stonemaul nods. "What would your plans be for this medusa?"

The rakshasa smiles. "We've been together for a few centuries now so I think it would you know, as they say, spice things up." He gives Stonemaul a wink.

I give the rakshasa a thumbs-up. "I totally dig the way you think."

Stonemaul says, "So, you're already in a relationship with the medusa and you want to pay us to become third parties to your bedroom play?" He shrugs. "I am OK with that."

The rakshasa adds, "I can gallantly rescue her! It will be fun! I won't even kill you!"

I ask, "How do we all deal with her eyes?"

Stonemaul says, "They do say that if you close off your eyes your other senses are heightened."

The rakshasa scoffs, "Uh, if you intend to deal with the dragon you best be able to handle a medusa. Put a bag over her head?"

I agree. "That works! It works for a medusa or for Bea Arthur!"

Stonemaul sighs. "Well, we were going to have to deal with the medusa anyway, and this seems like a very valid opportunity to introduce some chaos into what seems like a longstanding relationship."

Garreth shrugs. "It's something to discuss and or plan for. We might want to go get a mirrored shield or four."

Stonemaul nods. "If you'd be so kind as to excuse us we'll discuss your offer in detail." He heads back to the barrel of radioactive waste.

The rakshasa nods as well. "Very well, do stop by after you have your little chat"

I tell Logan to stand watch, and we chat among ourselves, as much in Aquan as we can. Stonemaul says, "As I said, we were going to have to deal with the rakshasa and the medusa anyway. Doing this seems to make the job a bit easier. Further, with Zaber's platinum-coated tongue we can most likely simply inform the medusa of the plan, and have her act out the helpless victim, thus avoiding that fight as well."

I gurgle in Aquan, "I, like, know he wants to kill us and will do it when he has a chance, but I like his lifestyle."

Stonemaul says, "I believe you won him over quite well with your speech, and he seemed pretty honest about his offer. I'm totally down if you guys want to just get on with the slaughtering, but having a medusa and rakshasa in our debt seems like it may pay off more than having a few more notches on my sword."

Garreth has Bleu tell us about rakshasas. "So, they are a race of Lawful Evil outsiders. They enjoy power and dominance of a predatory aristocrat, but the lazy indolence and luxury of a cat. They cannot resist the finer things in life, and wield powerful sorcerous magic. They can shapeshift and assume various forms, preferring that of humanoid tigers, but are marked by their reversed hands."

Garreth raises his eyebrow. "Lawful? So they must keep deals?"

Bleu nods. "It does not appear it is a form of demonic contract, but yes, they should in general honor their word. They feel their nobility far exceeds that of lesser races." Garreth asks if they can grant wishes. Bleu says they cannot, but they can craft enchantments.

Stonemaul says, "So, it seems the real question is: how much can we negotiate playing bedroom pixies for?"

Garreth shakes his head. "So, I have a few other concerns. He associated with the slavers. I went a long way out of my way to murder those slavers."

Stonemaul sighs. "Suppose we could ask him what he intends to do after this is all said and done. Get back to the choppin' if it's more slavery."

Garreth shakes his head again. "The association with slavery, then the ask to bring us another creature bound up just rubs me the wrong way. I'll go along with the group on this, but making my concerns heard."

I say, "Will do whatever it takes to get in this cat's doubtless marvelous liquor cabinet."

Garreth chuckles, "Murder gets us there just fine."

Stonemaul says, "How about this? We do like I outlined: Zaber talks to the medusa. So long as she's down for whatever this relationship is, then are are just bedroom pixies facilitating … something. And we get them both to pay us for the troubles."

With that, we set forth for Cillamar again to get mirrored shields.